Scribblings of a Muggleborn and her Pureblood
by CasablancaInTheTardis
Summary: LJ SEQUEL to Scribblings of a Red Head and a Quidditch Captain. Lily/James, Sirius/OC, Remus/OC. Harry finds his parents notebooks and letters written in the years after Hogwarts. Break-ups, proposals, duels, the Order, Voldemort, traitors, all included!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter or it's associated 'Potter-verse'... yet

**AN - **This is the sequel to Scribblings of a Red Head and a Quidditch Captain. If you haven't already read it, it's probably a good idea so that you get to know the OCs and also the backstory.

Sorry it's been such a long wait - ENJOY :D

* * *

**Prologue**

Harry sat in the cellar of his parent's desecrated home in Godric's Hollow, ready to start reading about the next chapter in his parents' lives. It had been sheer luck that he had found all their diaries in the first place - he could hardly believe that all their stuff was still there, given the publicity that their deaths had received and the preservation works that had obviously gone into the house.

He was incredibly grateful for the opportunity to hear about what happened while they had been at Hogwarts, even though some of it had been quite confronting - like the personalised letters from Voldemort. However, he wasn't sure if he was ready to read about what happened next. After all, he already knew how the story would end - with a traitor, a godfather in jail and dead parents. It was a sort of morbid fascination that urged him on. He _had_ to know what had happened in the years and weeks and days leading up to the day that had changed the course of history for the wizarding world forever.

Harry was just thankful that his friends were there to give him support. Ginny's presence was particularly important to him, more so now that he'd learned about how devoted his parents had been (by all accounts) to one another.

He had probably learnt just as much about Sirius and Remus as he had about Lily and James through their written records and photos. He would never have guessed that Remus had had such trouble with girls or that Sirius, the seemingly nonchalant, perpetual bachelor-turned-hideaway, had come inches from marrying his high school sweetheart. With feelings of slight trepidation as to what he would read next, Harry selected the first piece of paper from the pile - it was another excerpt from his mother's diary. He took a steadying breath then began to read.

* * *

**AN** - Okay, so this prologue isn't much and doesn't explain much about the characters in the story. There won't be much going over what happened in Scribblings1 in the next chapter because I sort of just want to get on with what's happening to the characters now. So if you haven't read Scribblings1 it would probably help to go and do that now so that you get a better idea of the characters and what's already happened to them.

If you are a faithful follow-on-erer, then thank you for caring enough about the characters and my plot to read this hopefully just-as-good-as-the-original sequel! I hope you won't be disappointed.

A challenge - this story needs a name. At the moment it is posted as Scribblings: Part 2 because I can't think of anything better. Suggestions??  
As always, thank you so much for reading, please review and HAPPY FANFICCING!


	2. Insecurities After Hogwarts

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Sorry!

**AN - **HI! Sooooo, here's Chapter One, I hope it lives up to expectation. Characters are a tiny bit out of character, which i attribute to the fact that a) i haven't written in AGES and b) they've just left Hogwarts for good, which has been their home for the past seven years. And considering the war they're heading out into, they have every right to be a bit scared. I think.

This Chapter pretty much goes back and forth between Remus, the Marauders and the girls. A bit choppy, but I like it that way :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy :) please review afterwards if you have a moment - HAPPY FANFICCING!

* * *

**Chapter One - Insecurities After Hogwarts**

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

A new diary! I felt it was appropriate now that we've left Hogwarts and all. So I had better start with the basics: I am Lily Jane Evans, recent graduate and former Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Also current (and hopefully permanent) girlfriend of the infamous James Potter (I hope he doesn't read this as his head _really_ doesn't need any more inflating). I have an aptitude for charms and potions and am about to start my training program to become a healer at St Mungo's Hospital - something I am both looking forward to and dreading... Immensely.

My best friend goes by the name of Catherine Euphemia Jones - dark hair, winning smile, guy magnet (although she's only interested in the one and only Sirius Black, Marauder extraordinaire). Cat is great at quidditch and dueling and has chosen to go into the Auror training program with Sirius and James (who, this time last year, I would have referred to as Black and Potter - funny how things change).

My other best friend, although we've drifted a bit in the last few months (probably due to her being in a coma for far too long, and due to her new found boyfriend) is Anna Brown - blonde-haired, blue-eyed, giggly and very popular with the boys. Over the past year she was with Remus Lupin (the 'clever' Marauder) but they broke up (it was bitter for a while there) and now she's with former Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, Caradoc Dearborn. They are seriously sweet together. She is currently looking for work in Diagon Alley while she builds up a portfolio so she can get a job at the _Daily Prophet_. After all, she was an absolute gossip queen in her Hogwarts days. Speaking of Remus, though, I do hope he's okay. It's a full moon tonight. I've known that he's a werewolf for years, even before James tried to talk him into telling me, and I'm fine with it. The fact that James, Sirius and Peter gallivant about with a werewolf every full moon in their animagus form is what concerns me more. Tonight, though, they aren't at Hogwarts so that's not an option. I'm relieved for James, but worried for Remus... I really hope he doesn't hurt himself.

...

The other important people in my life are my parents and my sister, Petunia, even though she doesn't seem to think I'm an important part of her life.

...

Okay, so school's finished and I'm still writing in this thing. I suppose I don't really see the harm in it - emptying my mind is good for my sleeping patterns as much as it is for keeping me safe from assorted legilimens. Plus, I have a lot on my mind since the end of Hogwarts and I think it would be good to get it all down.

For one thing, it's been five days in a row and I haven't seen James. I mean, I've had an owl or two but it's not quite the same. I don't want to sound desperate or anything but my family and I leave for our holiday in two days so unless he apparates to Australia and back, I won't see him again for at least another month! Which is really too long.

It still feels a bit odd, being in love with James Potter.

I never even used to like him. I used to think he was pretty much a selfish, egotistical twat. But now...

I didn't want to have to rely on anyone. If there was one goal I had set myself in life it was that - do not rely on anyone because they have the potential to let you down. I learnt that when Dad began to develop signs of Alzheimer's and he used to let me and Mum and Tuney down often, first forgetting small things like to get tea on the way home, then bigger things like when Mum's birthday was.

Anyway, I just didn't want to rely on anyone. It's part of the reason why I studied so hard at Hogwarts - I didn't want to be the muggleborn who needed help at every turn.

But now I can't imagine my life without James in it. Which I think is pretty much the definition of dependent. So I failed at that goal, huh?

In other news, I am quite excited about going to Australia. Mum and Dad have been saving up for quite some time, now. I think the extra money made from selling the London house probably went towards the airfares too. We are starting up the top and then going all the way down the east coast. I'm no geographer but I think it's going to be a real adventure. And I'm going to buy a wizarding camera before we leave so I can take some action shots, so to speak.

I sort of wish I was staying home in London so I could catch up with Cat and Anna over the summer, but at the moment there's not really a house to stay in. We're in a hotel right now and by the time we get back from our trip, all our stuff will've been moved into the new house in the country.

That's another thing I need to write about - the move.

Well, finishing up at school was one big hurdle, the next logical step would be to move out of home and find a job. Well, I could stay at home for a bit while I build up some financial security but that's not really how it's done in the wizarding world. Or, at least, that's not what Cat and Anna plan on doing. We are all getting a flat together but we won't move in properly till the end of summer. We are actually going into town to choose somewhere tomorrow. I would be excited but I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed. I have no more Hogwarts to go back to and now, no family home with memories and comforting hideaways and familiar bits. It sounds a bit daft but I just wish I had my house as a safety net and I don't and, to be honest, it's all happening a bit quick. And I'm a bit scared.

But that sounds stupid, doesn't it? Being scared of moving house and being independent - that shouldn't be the thing that scares me these days, when there are maniac wizards on the loose, threatening everyone's way of life.

And there is yet ANOTHER thing to add to the list of things to worry about - Voldemort. I've met him once in person, but fought against his followers a few times. The worst part was when he sent me a personal letter asking me not to fight him, stating that if I took extra measures to participate in the fight against him, then he would target my family. That bit still keeps me up at night.

I've already agreed to join and assist the Order of the Phoenix - Dumbledore's special army - and I _can't_ back out. I have to do my part to stop him. But at the same time, I cannot be responsible for any harm coming to my family. As soon as we get back from Australia, I'm going to make our family home unplottable. I was even thinking about the Fidelius charm, but I'll have to talk to Dumbledore about that. After all, I'm sure the Order has security protocols in place for the family of members.

So - James, holidays, living arrangements, Voldemort, family safety... Oh, and passing my NEWTs well enough to get into the Healer training program at the end of August - that seems like plenty to be worrying about, wouldn't you say?

...

Of course you wouldn't.

You're a journal.

* * *

Remus had known that when he left Hogwarts he would have to visit St Mungo's after each full moon (as opposed to the school's hospital wing) as he had done every summer holiday and in the years before school, but it was still not an experience he was looking forward to. They'd only been out of Hogwarts for a week or so and already it was time for his monthly torture. Knowing that he would have to spend the night alone in his family's cold cellar, with the door chained shut was bad enough. But knowing that he would have to be checked into St Mungo's the next day, covered in shamefully self-inflicted wounds was really the icing on the cake. The only consolation for the poor boy was the fact that St Mungo's was a learning hospital which meant that the staff took on trainees and interns so that they could learn with practice. Remus, though he was ashamed of what he was (or was forced to be), was glad to know that his suffering was at least giving students and opportunity to learn. It was a very small consolation...

The werewolf wasn't the only one to suffer, however. James and Sirius were nearly tearing their hair out (which is an extreme, considering their shared love for their hair) trying to think of ways to keep Remus company on his transformation. But unfortunately they weren't having any luck.

"Maybe if we just snuck in while his parents are upstairs?" Sirius suggested.

"Or we could sneak in under the cloak and then transform when he does?" James offered.

"No way!" Remus interrupted, getting up out of his chair- the boys were in the Potter's second floor kitchen, comfort eating.

"But you need us, Moons," Sirius insisted. "And Peter's away with... who?" he looked at James.

"His aunt and uncle in Spain, I think."

"Anyway, he's not going to be here so you won't have to worry about him. And we're perfectly capable of looking after ourselves."

"Not in a confined space, Sirius," Remus said angrily. "You could get seriously hurt! I could kill you guys!"

"Even as the wolf you wouldn't do that to us," Sirius argued.

"You don't know that, and I don't want to be responsible-" Remus choked somewhat on his words. Without waiting for a reply, he walked out of the room, grabbing a bar of chocolate that was conveniently lying on the counter on his way out.

"He's right, you know," James said, ignoring Sirius' huff of frustration. "It is too dangerous."

Sirius sighed again. "I know, I just wish there was something we could do. I hate that he has to go through this shit every month."

"Yeah, we all do," James agreed, hoisting himself up onto the kitchen bench so that his long legs dangled over the edge. "But, really, what can we do?"

"Hmph," was all the reply that Sirius could give.

That night all they could do was wait anxiously for the morning. The Lupins would not let them stay over, so Sirius and James spent the night in the empty Potter mansion (for Mr Potter was, once again, away on business), alternating between pacing, playing exploding snap, and worrying. Unfortunately, they had spent enough nights in the Shrieking Shack with Remus to be able to imagine the hideous sounds of snapping bones and tearing flesh as he transformed. Not being able to be there for their friend was the worst part of having left Hogwarts. They vowed that at the end of the summer, once they owned their flat together, they would again be able to roam the forests with Remus during the full moons to come. They would just have to tell the Lupins that their new quarters had a secure cellar.

In the morning, Remus awoke cold and alone on the stone floor of his prison. His muscles screamed in protest as he drew himself into a sitting position, shivering a bit from the cold. After about ten minutes of mentally calculating the number of injuries he had caused himself, and then assessing their severity, he stood gingerly and began to put on the clothes that had been left, untouched, in the corner of the room.

There was a sharp rapping on the door at the top of the steps.

"Moony? Are you in there?" came Sirius' voice. Remus winced, his senses were still on overload and everything seemed ten times louder than usual.

"Where else would I be?" he replied, his voice cracking due to a dryness in his throat. He could hear furious whisperings going on outside the door.

"He's awake, we _need _to take him to St Mungo's!"

"We don't usually go in until ten o'clock, though."

"At school we take him to the hospital wing as soon as he's up."

"The faster, the better!"

"He's our son!"

"Well, he's our friend!"

"Really, James-"

"Please!"

Remus smiled to himself at the Marauders' concern, then winced as the action opened up a small cut on his cheek. He then heard the rattling of the chains being undone, and glanced down to make sure he was decent.

"Oh, holy crap!" Sirius said, his eyes as wide as galleons as they landed on his friend.

"You look bloody awful, mate," James said conversationally, pushing past Sirius. "Come here." James slung Remus' arm over his shoulders. "You okay to walk?"

"Yeah, I just seem to have a big one on my leg," the lycanthrope replied, referring to the several inches deep gash running up his right thigh.

"We'll help," Sirius said, taking the weight on Remus' other side and helping James get him up the stairs.

Mr and Mrs Lupin were standing there looking quite lost, Mr Lupin's face paling horribly when he saw his son's bleeding figure being practically dragged towards the fireplace.

"Remus, sweetheart, are you okay?" Mrs Lupin asked, even though everyone knew 'okay' wasn't at all an apt description of the injured boy.

"I'm fine, mum," Remus replied weakly.

"Do you want us to come with you to St Mungo's?" Mr Lupin asked, looking as though he was about to throw up.

"It's okay, Dad. I'll be alright."

Mr Lupin merely nodded, then quickly left the room. Even after twelve years, he still felt dreadfully responsible for his son's condition. After all, Remus had been targeted because his father had angered a werewolf. Nobody blamed him in the slightest, but seeing Remus after a transformation always made Mr Lupin feel sick with guilt.

"I'd better talk to him," Mrs Lupin said apologetically, "You know how he gets. We'll visit this afternoon." Then she, too, left the small living room.

Remus sighed. He hated to upset his parents, but it wasn't as though he could help it. He really couldn't wait until he had moved away with the Marauders - then he wouldn't have to put his parents through seeing him like this every month.

"Right, let's go then," James said, stepping into the large fireplace. "St Mungo's."

Remus felt as though he might be sick as he stepped out into the busy wizarding hospital. Mediwitches and healers wearing lime green robes with the St Mungo's logo of a crossed wand and a bone rushed this way and that, hurrying off to their relevant floors, taking patients with them.

Sirius approached the reception desk, completely ignoring a queue of now very irritated patients, and fixed the receptionist with his most charming smile (which, needless to say, was very charming indeed).

"Hello, how are you today?" he asked sweetly, watching as the thirty-something year old woman in front of him turned to mush at the mere sound of his voice.

"I'm very well, thank you," she replied demurely, batting her eyelids in a terribly obvious way. Sirius only just managed to hold back an eye roll.

"I was just wondering if I could take my friend up to the first floor? There should be a bed waiting for him in the Dai Llewellyn ward, but we really don't have time to spare."

"There are some forms that need filling out," the receptionist began, but at the pained look Sirius gave her she changed her mind. "But I'm sure if I give it to you to fill out later, it would be no problem."

"Thank you so much, Miss-?"

"Tyler, Janet Tyler."

"Thank you Miss Janet Tyler. You have a lovely day," Sirius drawled, winking as he scooped up the papers and nodded at James and Remus to get a move on.

"Honestly, is there any woman who won't give in to you?" James said in exasperation as they piled into the elevator.

"Of course not, Prongs. I am innately charming, the poor birds just can't help themselves," Sirius grinned, forcing Remus to smile just a little.

"Floor one, Creature Induced Injuries," the smooth elevator voice announced, and the boys dutifully got out and went to the small desk just opposite the elevators.

"Remus Lupin, should have a bed booked in the Llewellyn ward," James said, as Remus looked a bit nauseous.

"Let me see, Lupin, Lupin. Yes, bed five," the short man said from behind his pile of paperwork.

Shortly after settling Remus into his bed, Sirius and James left the hospital to get some much needed sleep (considering they'd sent the majority of the previous night up worrying), promising to return that afternoon.

* * *

Meanwhile, the girls had planned a shopping trip for the day, seeing as how they needed to catch up before Lily went away on her holiday. They were to meet at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour in the morning and then visit a real estate agent in central London to check out a few flats. Afterwards, if they had time, they were going to return to Diagon Alley for a spot of afternoon shopping.

"One caramel sundae please," Lily ordered as she waited for Cat and Anna to show up. She grabbed three spoons so that they could share, and took herself outside to sit at a small wooden table. Before she had even taken a bite, Anna (one of the aforementioned best friends) had appeared from around the corner and was now bounding towards Lily with an absurd amount of energy.

"Lily!" she cried happily, throwing her arms around the red head with such enthusiasm that Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey, Anna. Good to see you too," Lily grinned, pulling back and motioning for Anna to sit down.

"For me?" Anna grabbed a spoon and hungrily dug into the sundae, much to Lily's amusement.

"In a bit of a good mood, are we?" she asked cheekily.

"You would not _believe_ the day I am having!" Anna enthused, placing down her spoon and dabbing delicately at her mouth with a napkin. "I just got offered a part time job at Flourish and Blotts."

"What, just like that?" Lily replied, taking her first spoon of ice-cream.

"Yep, I didn't even have a resume or a cover letter or anything. I just walked in and asked if there were any positions available and he hired me on the spot!"

"That sounds like a really good luck," came a voice from behind Anna.

Cat had wandered up to their table in the midst of their conversation without either of them noticing. "Hi guys," she said cheerfully. "This guy that hired you, was he the youngish, spotty one?" she grinned.

"Well... Yes..." Anna replied, slightly guiltily.

Lily couldn't help but laugh - the lengths people would go to to please Anna because she was pretty and friendly were a great source of entertainment for her two friends.

"You know you have a boyfriend, right?"

"Yes, and as soon as I've established myself as a useful and in fact, invaluable, part of the team, Jeremy will find out too," she smirked.

"You're unbelievable," Lily rolled her eyes.

"Unbelievably lucky," Anna replied, "I didn't get to tell you the rest of the good news."

She paused for dramatic effect, sufficiently intriguing Lily and Cat.

"Well?" Cat demanded.

"Caradoc got an offer from _three different quidditch teams_!"

"WHAT? NO WAY?!" Cat all but yelled.

"He did - the Appleby Arrows, the Tutshill Tornadoes and the Pride of Portree," she said excitedly.

"Oh, he should definitely choose Pride of Portree," Cat suggested, "They have been bottom of the ladder this year, but they have the talent, their coach was just rubbish. But I heard last week that he was retiring and they're getting the old coach from Falmouth and-"

"Blah, blah, it's all gobbledegook to me," Anna said, "I just know that I'm not too keen on moving to Scotland to fit in with his training schedule."

"Hang on a minute, I thought that we were all going to live together," Lily interrupted, looking anxious. "Please don't tell me you've changed your mind. I don't think Cat and I can afford a decent place just between the two of us."

"No, don't worry. I still plan to live with you guys," Anna smiled reassuringly. "But I want to be able to go watch him train and stuff, and I don't much fancy the trek out to Scotland each day, even if I can apparate."

"So it's down to Appleby and Tutshill, then?" Lily asked.

"Oh, it's definitely Tutshill. Sky blue looks _so _good on him," Anna grinned.

After much giggling, gossip and ice-cream, the three girls visited a few of the shops in Diagon Alley, with the main highlight being Lily's purchase of a wizarding camera.

They then set off to the real estate agency that they had decided on previously. The office was not far from the muggle entrance to the Leaky Cauldron, so the three Gryffindors simply caught the bus.

When they arrived, they were greeted by an overly bubbly brunette woman with a terrible bob haircut and a bright red blazer that looked expensive but unattractive at the same time.

"Hello, ladies. You must be Miss Evans, Miss Jones and Miss Brown. Please follow me." She led them into a small, tastefully furnished office where they sat crammed around a circular table. The real estate agent, Deirdre, had taken the liberty of picking out a few small apartments for the girls to inspect first on paper and then in an actual tour should they wish to. She had also managed to keep in mind their meagre budget. As a result, all of their options were slightly smaller than they had hoped.

"I'll leave you three to talk it over," Deirdre said, sweeping out of the room.

"These places are _tiny_," Anna exclaimed, "There's no way we'll all fit in there!"

"I reckon our dorm room was bigger than some of these flats," Cat agreed.

"Do you think we'd be allowed to put expansion charms on them, so that they're bigger on the inside?" Lily suggested. "I mean, that's not against our laws, is it?"

"Good point, Lils," Cat agreed. "It can't be against the law, witches and wizards do it all the time so that the muggles don't catch on."

"Good. Well, then we just need to chose the one with the best location, considering that the insides don't really matter," Anna said.

"What about this one?" Lily said, pointing to the apartment with whitewash walls in Holborn, close to St Mungo's.

"Or this one - it's close to the Leaky Cauldron and to the Ministry," Cat suggested, pointing to the narrow upstairs flat towards the West end of the Strand in Central London.

"I suppose I could always apparate to work," Lily said. "And I guess this way we're closer to Diagon Alley - that's where the guys are getting a place, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I don't see why they don't just move into James' family home. I mean, it's big enough," Cat mused.

"I think it might have something to do with the fact that David's always away on business. James feels like the house is empty without his Dad."

"Hmm, or maybe David just doesn't trust a bunch of teenage boys alone in his house," Anna grinned. "Come on, let's ask to go check this one out."

As soon as they arrived, the girls knew that this was the apartment that they wanted to live in. It had a fairly inconspicuous front door - plain white with a brass knocker, just like the other identical flats in the street. The narrow hallway led straight through to a comfortable living room at the back of the flat. There was a small bathroom off the hall, with an adjoining toilet. There was also a sort of study/room-full-of-junk on the first floor. The cream carpeted stairs that went in the same direction as the hallway led to the second floor which consisted of three quaintly wallpapered bedrooms and a cork-floored kitchen.

It had a sort of musty, lived-in smell, and some of the wallpaper was peeling, but it was definitely within the girls' price range and it had a nearly perfect location being close to both the entrance to the wizarding world, their jobs and their boyfriends. With a little magic, the humble apartment wouldn't seem so small or shabby, so the girls agreed to sign the papers there and then, giving the current occupants a month before they would move in themselves.

"Ahh, I'm so excited!" Anna squealed, after Deirdre had happily left them at the front gate.

"I can't believe it. We actually own an apartment," Cat said, her face alight with content disbelief.

"Well, not quite. But close enough," Lily grinned.

"I say we go out for a drink to celebrate," Anna suggested. "Shall we meet the guys?"

"Isn't Caradoc off somewhere training or something?" Cat asked.

"I'm sure he can get away for a bit. Where are Black and Potter?"

"Feel free to start calling them Sirius and James," Lily said.

"They would've been visiting Remus at St Mungo's. Full moon last night," Cat said.

"They're probably back at James' now, should we drop by?"

"Yeah, but let's apparate. I can't be bothered with finding a place nearby to floo from," Anna said.

"See you soon," Cat grinned, before turning on the spot with a loud POP.

* * *

Sirius was dozing lightly on the leather couch in the Potter's spacious library when he heard three loud POPs crack through the air. With lightening fast reflexes, he leapt up and drew his wand.

"Oh, dear. His hair is worse than James'," Lily chuckled.

"Oi!" Sirius cried, lowering his wand and hastily patting down his hair. "You can't just surprise a guy like that and expect his hair to look it's flawless best."

"Were you expecting someone else?" Cat asked, raising an eyebrow at the lowered wand. Sirius just shrugged.

"Where's your better half?" Anna joked.

"Dunno. He's here somewhere."

"We have some exciting news and we wanted to tell you both together."

"I'm going to go find him," Lily said, exiting the room quietly.

She wandered down the corridor until she came to the main staircase that led her to the third floor. Her feet automatically took her down yet another corridor to James' bedroom. As she stood outside the closed door, Lily felt an odd sense of nervousness that she couldn't explain. It had been a fair while since they'd seen each other.

Well, five days.

But considering the fact that since they'd gotten together they had practically lived on top of each other, with minimal time apart, five days seemed a long time.

Who knows what could change in five days?

Lily tentatively pushed the door open to see James lying asleep on his back, on his fourposter, with his arms folded across his chest and a slight frown creasing his handsome face. Lily leant on the doorframe, wondering what could be troubling James in his sleep. Had she been there ten minutes earlier, she would have found her boyfriend writing in his Occlumency Journal...

* * *

**James' Occlumency Diary**

Moony looked worse today. Worse than he usually does after a transformation, at any rate. He was cut and bruised all over. I tried not to mention it or to stare but it's hard.

I can't wait till we get our own place. We'll be able to take him out on the full moon again as Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs and he won't be lonely and self-destructive.

I'm too exhausted to write anything else.

* * *

Lily was mentally tossing up between waking James or leaving him there, when the boy in question stirred restlessly on the bed. She immediately stood up straight and straightened her red hair with her hands.

"Are you just going to stand there?" James asked in his cheekiest of voices, smirking at Lily even though his eyes were still closed. Lily giggled.

"Sorry," she said, walking towards his bed and sitting down next to him. "I didn't want to wake you."

"It's no use, I can't sleep properly anyway," he replied, sitting up. "Not when Moony's in such a bad state."

"Will he be alright?" Lily replied anxiously.

"Yeah, I'm sure he will be," James rumpled his hair. "It's just not nice to see him so beaten up and to know that he's done the damage himself."

"He's still in St Mungo's, yeah?"

James nodded.

"How are you holding up?" she asked. They still hadn't kissed one another hello.

James grinned at her, "What is this, twenty questions?"

Lily laughed again but it was softer, less confident.

"Are you okay?" James asked, placing his hand over hers on the bed. Lily smile broadly at the contact, which still made her skin feel tingly and her insides feel mushy.

"I am now," she replied, leaning in for a kiss.

James wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him until they toppled backwards onto the pillows, lips still together. Lily moved her hands up so that she was running her fingers through his soft hair.

She pulled away suddenly. "FIVE days, James!" she cried.

"I know!" he replied, before pulling her back in for more kissing.

This was how Sirius, Cat and Anna found them, fifteen minutes later.

"Ahem!" Anna said loudly.

Now, a normal pair of teenagers making out would have sprung apart with surprise, probably sporting embarrassed or guilty expressions. James and Lily, on the other hand, broke apart reluctantly, only turning to look at their friends when enough time had passed that not to do so would be rude.

"Are you quite finished?" Sirius asked, an amused smile playing about his lips.

"Not even close, but for the sake of public decency we will say yes," Lily replied.

"So, are we going to get going?" Cat asked.

"Where are we going?" James frowned.

"Out to celebrate," Lily said.

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"Alright, then."

* * *

Remus lay in his hospital bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Everywhere ached and stung. Unfortunately, even after all the years, he was still not used to the unnatural feeling of all his bones having to reform, and his muscles re-stretch around them. It was nearly dark outside - not that much light was let into the ward through it's tiny window - and Remus was awaiting his parents arrival. Once he had been checked over again by another healer, he would be released and taken home to rest.

The four other patients in the room with Remus were not much in the way of company either. The man in the bed next to him was covered head to foot in bandages, and was therefore unable to do much talking. The bed across fro Remus was occupied by a middle-aged witch with mangy brown hair. She had her right arm bandaged up, although Remus could see it was leaking a greenish pus, and she was muttering quietly to herself about turnips and treacle tarts. In fact, Remus half wondered if she would be better suited in the long term ward for mentally unstable patients.

The other two beds held boys who, like Remus, had spent the night in their wolf forms. They were both sleeping, and even when they were awake were generally surly and taciturn.

He glanced across at the copy of the _Daily Prophet_ lying on the bedside table and picked it up.

**_Property Prices Drop in Magical Communities_**

_According to the latest research done by the Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Transportation (who have been looking into the urban sprawl of the floo network), property prices in areas highly populated by magical persons have dropped dramatically. According to the statistics, prices have decreased by up to forty-nine percent since last year's mass attacks on Mold-on-the-Wold and Hogsmeade. _

_The Minister for Magic spoke out on the issue after yesterday's Wizengamot meeting. "People should not fear living in these areas. There is safety in numbers. Witches and wizards, we must stand together against He-who-must-not-be-named, and thus return our neighbourhoods to the safe havens that they once were."_

Remus was about to turn to page twenty-five to have a look at these so-called low housing prices - as the Marauders were planning on getting a flat in Diagon Alley - when he heard the familiar voice of Healer Stevens.

"As you know, today we will have a few more patients in this wing than usual. Full moon last night, you know?"

"Would you like me to check on Ms Watkins, then?" came a completely different voice. Remus looked up from his paper.

"Hello, Mr Lupin, how are you feeling today?" asked Healer Stevens, standing at his bed head and effectively blocking his view of the new comer. She placed her thin hand on his forehead to check his temperature then, seemingly satisfied, moved around to the other side of his bed to check on his leg. This gave Remus a clear view of his healer's assistant, someone he was sure he hadn't met before.

She was dressed in light blue robes - the colour of third year interns at St Mungo's - and was bending over Ms Watkins' bed, checking her charts, and giving Remus a rather nice view. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and, from what Remus could tell, she was probably not much older than him.

"Mr Lupin?" enquired Stevens.

Remus started slightly. "Oh, err, fine. Just my leg, really. Ribs, shoulder blade. The usual."

"Bone strengthening potion, Duncan," Stevens ordered, before moving onto the next patient.

_Duncan?_ Thought Remus, _that seems an odd name for a girl._

Before his sleep-deprived brain could struggle over the puzzle of her name any longer, the girl in question swept over with a shot glass worth of bright blue liquid. Remus was able to see her identification card pinned to her robes: Laura Duncan.

_Oh_, Remus thought, _that makes sense! ... how much sleeping draught did they give me!?_

She smiled warmly, her brown eyes traveling briefly over Remus' face checking for abrasions that needed healing.

"Drink up," she said, and Remus noticed a faint hint of an accent in her voice. Although, in his current state of disrepair, he couldn't quite work out where it was from.

It was nice to have someone different to look at, Remus noted dully as he surreptitiously watched Laura go about the room administering potions that Healer Stevens demanded. Just nice to have something to observe that wasn't his fellow patients, or the shadows in the corners of the room, or the cuts and bruises all over his own body.

A few short minutes later, both the healer and the student had left the room and Remus was once again left on his own with his thoughts. He passed the next two hours alternately sleeping and reading the paper, until his parents came to collect him that evening.

* * *

In the meantime, the girls had taken the boys to the Leaky Cauldron where they gently broke the news that they had bought an apartment. Unfortunately Caradoc had not been able to get away from his meeting with the Tutshill Tornadoes, so Anna went to wait for him, leaving Cat, Lily, James and Sirius.

"It's kinda small and plain, but we're going to make it bigger on the inside," Cat enthused.

"And it's quite close by so when you lot move into a place in Diagon Alley, you won't be too far away."

After about an hour of drinking and talking, during which James played idly with Lily's hair, and Cat snuck her hand onto Sirius' thigh, the conversation turned to the more serious.

"I read this morning that places like the one we're going to get are a lot cheaper because people are too scared to live in all magical communities," James mentioned after a few minutes of silence.

"It doesn't make sense, though, does it?" Lily replied. "Surely people should be thinking that there's safety in numbers?"

"Apparently not," Sirius said. "And I can't say I blame them. Look at all the attacks that have been happening lately. It's not like living with other wizards guarantees you safe haven. If anything it makes you more of a target."

"Then why are you guys planning on getting a place in Diagon Alley?" Cat asked, brow wrinkled.

"Well, if we let them get to us then they'd have won," James shrugged. "Plus, we're lazy and it's more of a convenience thing."

"And we fear nothing. We are the Marauders, after all," Sirius winked, effectively dispersing the worry that seemed to have settled over their table.

"I feel like a bit of fresh air," Lily said suddenly, standing up.

"I'll come," James replied predictably, following Lily out into muggle London. Sirius and Cat just exchanged a Lily-and-James-clearly-need-a-moment-alone look, before Cat found herself on Sirius' lap, snogging him silly.

"Hey, Lils. What's up?" James said, doing a strange half jog to catch up with the red head.

"Nothing, it's nothing," Lily said, confused herself as to why she suddenly felt short of breath.

"Is it the house thing? 'Cause, Lily, I promise you we'll be safe-"

"It's not that."

"Is it about the attacks?"

"No, it's just-" she sighed heavily, prompting James to take her gently under his arm and steer her toward the nearest bench.

"It's just all this moving business. I mean, I think it's great and exciting and everything. But we're not at Hogwarts anymore. We haven't got Dumbledore and all the teachers to keep us safe."

"We don't need them. We'll be just fine," James said soothingly, holding her close to him.

"I just don't know what we're going to do if there's an attack. Especially- I mean, imagine there was an attack on Diagon Alley and we didn't get there in time. What if you..." she couldn't finish the sentence.

"Look at me, Lily," James urged, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Nothing is going to happen to me. I'll be fine. In any case, we haven't even bought a place yet. And we won't be moving in till auror training starts in September."

"That feels like ages," Lily smiled, trying to stick with a new subject, as the old one had left her feeling queasy. "Are you ready for it?"

"I guess so. I don't know, really. It's going to be full on. Long hours, time away."

"The healer training program is really long hours, too," Lily contributed. "How on Earth are we going to cram our work with the Order into this as well? And us," she said, turning away. "I wonder how much time we'll have."

"Well, there's no point in worrying about it until it happens. But I'm sure we'll be okay, Lily. If we can survive Death Eater Attacks then we can get through a bit of time apart."

"Yeah, I guess so," she agreed, foisting a fake smile onto her face. "We can always write to each other."

"Or I could try to hunt down some more two-way mirrors?" James suggested.

"And we can make time to see each other," Lily said quietly, slipping her hand into his.

They stayed like that for a while, leaning on each other, each trying to deal with the challenges that their new adult lives had thrown at them.

Lily was still concerned that, in spite of James' reassurances, their time apart would not be for the best; she worried that maybe someone better would come along, someone who was training to be an auror, perhaps? And James would realise that she, Lily, was not worth the effort. She also had concerns over where he would be living, the dangers of his soon-to-be job and his as yet undisclosed role in the Order of the Phoenix.

James was also worrying about Lily - she seemed to be extra fragile lately (something he put down to the stress of moving out, impending NEWT results and finding employment) and he worried that not seeing her for a month might kill him. Then again, he was equally worried about what could happen to her while she was away from him. What if there were Death Eaters in Australia? What if she got lost over there and never came home? What if she met a cute, charms-loving wizard on a beach somewhere and forgot all about him? The what-ifs were endless and were making James' stomach tie itself in knots with anxiety so he decided to do the only thing he could think of to take his mind off his troubles.

"Do you, err, reckon we should make up for all that time we're going to lose while you're on holidays?" James said with a cheeky smile. Lily laughed, grabbed James by the hand and turned on the spot, taking them somewhere where they wouldn't be disturbed.

* * *

**AN **- Coming up: letters between Lily and James, letters from our favourite Death Eater, Remus' occlumency diary and the Marauders' first Order meeting.

Sorry that this chapter was a bit slow. It's just needed to establish the characters a bit and give me somewhere to go from. Don't worry, things get interesting quite soon. Any predictions?

Also title suggestions are welcome. Preferably 'Scribblings of a something and a something' (fill in the somethings)

Thank you so much for reading, please review if you have time :)

Ps I now have a twitter account - http: // twitter . com /CasablncaTardis (ignore the spaces, it wouldn't let me write it otherwise) - so if you want to, jump on twitter and follow me. I'll be using it probably to ask questions about plot ideas, etc so, yes.

Happy Fanficcing! :D


	3. Letters to Lily & A Marauder Houseparty

**Disclaimer - **Not mine. HP belongs to JK but this story belongs to me.

**AN - **I am a fanfic fail. Sorry for the long break between updates. I have a long list of reasons so I'll point out the highlights: uni has started again (and it's not as rubbish as it used to be, which is nice, but it still takes up a great deal of my time), it was my sister's b-day last weekend and there was much preparation/cleanup time spent on her party, i have been really stupidly tired lately due to all the extra shifts i've been taking at work because I want to travel to england in July and i need the money. So yes. I'M SORRY!!!!

**Last time - **They gang were all moving into new flats and beginning new jobs following their Hogwarts lives. Remus met a pretty hospital intern named Laura. Death Eaters continue to be evil, etc.

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Letters to Lily and a Maraudering House-warming**

_July 29_

Dear James,

Well, we've been here a day and I already love it. We'll have to come here together sometime. It's beautiful. At the moment we're in a place called Queensland and it's hot and sticky, but there's rainforest that stretches all the way to the sea, which is turquoise with white sands. Honestly, if you could see it...

My parents and I are staying in a self-contained villa on the edge of the beach - I've got the upstairs all to myself and they have the downstairs. I don't suppose you could apparate over here? There's really nothing to do except swim and read and sleep and, as much as I like reading and swimming, I can't help but think there are more... Interesting things I could be doing with my time.

Oh dear, I'm starting to sound like Sirius with all this suggestion. I'll just chalk it up to missing you.

How are things back in rainy, old England? What've you been up to? I know it's only been three days but it really feels like a lot longer.

Love, Lily.

* * *

_August 3_

Dear Lily,

Four days now. I feel sorry for the owls - it's a long distance for them to travel.

I miss you so much, it's actually ridiculous. Sirius slapped me the other day - an actual girly slap across the face - because apparently I was 'moping'.

Queensland sounds amazing - I wish I could get there and back, but I've got to be here incase something happens with the Order. I know we aren't supposed to talk about it in the letters, but we've got our first meeting in a few days. Dumbledore's going to owl us when it's time. It's a shame you won't be there, but I guess there will be plenty more of them in future given the way things are going. Since you've been away there have been more reports of muggle-baiting in cities outside London, to the south. So far there've been no fatalities but it's only a matter of time.

But I don't want to bring you down, especially when you're on holidays with your family. It sounds really nice. A bit boring - I don't suppose there are any quidditch pitches nearby?

We've been playing a lot of quidditch - me, Sirius, Cat and Remus (after he recovered from the full moon). It keeps us fit, which we're going to need for when auror training starts. Cat is over here all the time, now. She has sort of moved in. Same with Remus. I mean, it makes sense seeing as how there's so much room here but sometimes I just want to be by myself, you know? I haven't been able to go and talk to mum like I used to because Sirius doesn't think it's healthy. I know it's just her painting and that it isn't actually her, but it's as close as I can get. It helps. So now I have to sneak down in the middle of the night if I want to talk undisturbed but usually I'm just too tired.

But enough of my whining! I'm your boyfriend, you should be whining to me!

Write back soon, before I get committed for being 'mopey'.

James.

* * *

_August 5_

James,

I'm bored.

I am freckled and I am bored.

The thing they don't tell you about Australia is how much more sun there is down here. I mean, I knew it was going to be better weather than back home, but this is ridiculous. It's winter over here and I'm still burnt and/or freckled. That's the last time I try tanning without sunscreen on!

In other news, that's really exciting about the Order. Of course it would be better if the Order weren't necessary and we didn't have to fight at all, but since we do I have to admit I'm jealous that you guys are getting stuck right into it while I'm stuck over here with two people who think sitting on the beach is an acceptable pastime for eight consecutive days (consider that my whining done for today).

But please, please stay safe! Keep your cloak on you at all times, just in case (I'm sure I don't need to tell you this - you _are_ a Marauder, after all).

Muggle baiting? Are the Ministry doing anything to help out or are they too busy trying to cover everything up so the muggles are kept in the dark? I sometimes wonder if they've even told the muggle Prime Minister about You-Know-Who.

Ignore Sirius. It's your house and your Mum, if you need to talk to her portrait, go talk to her portrait. Tell Sirius I'll hurt him when I get back if he gets in your way.

I love you.

Lily.

* * *

_August 7_

Lils,

We had our first Order meeting today. It was intense. I know we're fighting for good and equality and safety and all that, but after Mad-Eye spoke to us about how difficult things are going to be I can't help but feel a little helpless. How in the name of Merlin are we going to defeat Voldemort? He has legions of supporters - people who will help him here and there, people who will turn their backs on the wrong that he does, his Death Eaters, etc. We've got a group of about thirty people, with absolutely no support from the Ministry or their law enforcement squads. I know we have to believe that we can do this but...

Anyway, we haven't got any missions yet. I think we're waiting for more intelligence on what the other side are up to. Since I last wrote, they've been laying low. No big attacks, nothing reported in the _Prophet_, it's making the aurors in the Order uneasy. The quiet before the storm, as I overheard Mad-Eye calling it. Something big is coming and we don't know where or when. At least you're in Australia where I know it's safe.

How is it going? How are your parents? Tell them I say hello.

I have to go now, Sirius and Remus just got back from Diagon Alley and we are going to play a game of quidditch. Unfortunately, it's going to be two on one - Cat's with Anna looking at furniture, I think, and Peter's still in Spain with his aunt and uncle.

Come home soon. It's not the same celebrating my whipping of Sirius AND Remus in a game of quidditch if you're not here to burst my big-headed bubble.

Love, James.

* * *

_August 11_

Dear James,

Sorry it's taken me so long to write back. I know it's probably been more than a week since you sent your last owl. I think he got lost on the way, because we're now further south in New South Wales. Anyway, I hope that everything's alright and that there haven't been any more attacks. I don't like the sound of this silence, though. They must be planning something.

Everyone feels hopeless sometimes - it's just part of war. We have to fight for everyone who thinks the war is already lost; fight for everyone else who already feels it's hopeless. I know that might sound corny but, well... I just think that what we're doing (what you're doing, really) is really important, no matter how much we struggle.

In other news, the holiday is improving. I met some people today on the beach about our age and we're going out to a party tomorrow night. They're backpackers from another part of the country so we bonded over not knowing the area. It should be fun! Anything to get away from the parents. On Wednesday they want to visit the capital and see the miniature village there. It's seriously an entire village but tiny, like houses as big as my shoe tiny. What is the point of a tiny village, I ask you? It's not like it's habitable. Except maybe for ants.

I know if you were here it'd be less boring but sadly you have more important things to be getting on with. I hope you won your game of quidditch. If you did: James Potter, I'm amazed you can get off the ground with that big, fat head of yours. Stop gloating and take your victory like a man! (I hope that was satisfactory. If you lost... Well, I'll make you feel better when I get back to England).

Love, Lily.

* * *

_August 15_

Lily,

It's good to hear that you're having a good time. Who are these people you're meeting? I mean their names, just in case you go missing and I have to inform the Ministry of your whereabouts, haha. But, seriously.

I don't really have much to say. Nothing much has happened with the Order, we're still waiting for more information. I'm just waiting around for auror training to start.

Love you.

James.

* * *

_August 17_

James,

The party was so much fun! We went to this place on the beach where there was some band playing live. Then we went for a swim afterwards. It was a really warm night, too, so it was refreshing and lovely. It kinda reminds me of when we went swimming in the lake after exams.

The people I went with are staying in the same hotel as us; Ellen, Karina, Matthew, Joshua, Kevin and Lewis. So don't you worry - I'm safe.

We're moving south to Melbourne in a few days time. I think the gang might be going the same way, so that'll be nice - not to just be with the oldies.

I hope your holidays improve soon!

Got to go, there's a volleyball competition on at the beach.

Love, Lily.

* * *

**Remus' Occlumency Diary**

Well, another birthday. 19 now - it sounds quite old, really. Only one more year of being able to blame all my faults and foibles on being a teenager.

The next full moon is in a few days time. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm still technically living with my parents, even though I spend every waking moment at James' house, helping them study for their auror courses.

I'm more than a bit jealous of them. They are so lucky to be able to do this. Well, not just lucky. We got our NEWT results yesterday and each of them did outstandingly well (like me, might I add). I'm just jealous that they get to do something with their hard work and good results, while I will probably be stuck working in a shop for the rest of my life doing a job that's beneath me, simply because once a month I am not quite myself. It seems a waste of all my hard work, that's all.

But at least I get to help out in the Order. Moody hasn't said anything specific - we all got a briefing on recent muggle baiting incidences, but we have to wait for more intelligence before we can take preventative action, or stop those responsible. However, I think that perhaps my werewolf status will make me a valuable member in that I could perhaps talk to other werewolves about resisting the temptations that You-Know-Who has offered his followers. I must admit, equal rights sounds terribly appealing, but I know that it's probably an empty promise so it really doesn't deserve my dwelling on it.

The only good thing about going back to St Mungo's is... Well, it's stupid really. Last time I was there, there was a new intern. According to her name tag, her name is Laura. You have to understand that it's just nice to have something different to think about while I'm lying in that same hospital bed in the same ward with some of the same people every month. She seemed quite efficient and obviously she's intelligent if she managed to get the marks to do healing. If I could just have five minutes of conversation that doesn't involve injuries or my lycanthropy then there might be something to look forward to. The fact that she's beautiful probably doesn't hurt.

Enough. I don't need to be thinking about girls. Especially not now.

* * *

_August 19_

Lily,

I've started studying for auror training. I'm flat out. Sirius and Cat have started too, so there's no more quidditch or time out. There are ridiculous amounts of reading to be done for this course - I can't help but hate the laws that stop Remus from being an eligible trainee as he would love a legitimate reason to read all day. It was his 19th birthday yesterday. We didn't have time for a proper party so we all just had dinner at the Leaky Cauldron together. It was nice.

Have fun with your new friends - don't forget to tell them you have a very protective, very sexy boyfriend waiting for you back home.

Love, James.

* * *

_August 20_

Dear Lily,

What's up? I haven't heard from you this entire time!

I'm super busy at the moment with all this preparation I have to do before we go into the advanced auror training program at the start of September, but I thought I'd take the time out to write you a letter, seeing as how you're probably bored stupid with your parents in Australia.

Anna and I took the liberty of buying some second hand (and some new) furniture for the apartment a while ago, and the boys are going to help us move it in this weekend. I know we don't technically move in till you get back, but the other owner is gone so we figured we'd get a head start.

James was completely useless the first week after you left. Sirius kept telling him off for moping about the house - which he did quite a bit, waiting for owls from you, I suspect. We distracted him with some quidditch for a while, but now he seems better. In fact, he's been really busy with preparing for our course. Sirius thinks he's being a swot, but I'm not so sure. At first I thought it was because he missed you, but it seems like he is just really intense about doing well. I suppose that's what happens when your dad is the head auror, though. I'm sure he has probably also told you about our Order meeting. Nothing much is happening yet, but when it does it will be epic.

Anyway, I have to go. Sirius and I are going out tonight, just the two of us for a change, and I need to go and make myself beautiful.

See you soon, lots of love,

Cat xox

* * *

_August 22_

Hi Cat,

It's great to hear from you! Yes, my holiday did start off a bit quiet but then I met some people my age and luckily they have been heading in the same direction as my family and I, so we've hung out quite a bit. James seemed a bit concerned that I was spending so much time with them, but I suppose everyone's a bit edgy these days what with the war.

I can't wait to see the flat, I am really excited about moving in!

I'm not quite sure what's going on with James. One of his letters was really pessimistic about the war, which isn't like him at all. He hasn't gotten any more letters from You-Know-Who, has he? I suppose he would've told me if he had.

Honestly, I was worried about us spending such a long time apart, but I think we'll be fine. He's just really busy and so am I, I suppose. But keep an eye on him for me, would you?

I'll tell you all about my holiday adventures when I get back - right now I'm going out to the theatre with some of the people I met over here.

Hope you aren't studying too hard! See you soon, lots of love,

Lily xx

* * *

_August 23_

James,

Tell Remus Happy Birthday! I sent him an owl, but I'm not sure if it got there on time.

So much sightseeing, so little time! I went to see a show at the Princess Theatre with Ellen and Joshua last night - it was amazing! I can't wait to tell you all about my adventures when I get home. For example, we got caught in the rain the other day on our way through the Botanical Gardens (a big muggle tourist attraction - it's just a massive garden, really). We got completely lost and soaked through, then we had to take muggle transport back to the hotel but we got on the wrong tram and ended up at the opposite end of town. Josh thought it was hysterical but I think Ellen came down with something - she's been sneezing non-stop for the past two days!

Good luck with your study,

Lily x

* * *

_August 25_

Lily,

Sounds like quite an adventure.

Nothing much is happening here except study and stress. We were going to have a welcome home party for you but I don't think we'll have the time to organise it, sorry. And to think, we haven't even started official classes yet!

See you soon,

James.

* * *

_August 28_

James,

Just boarding the plane now but I wanted to send this owl just to let you know (and to see which of us gets there first - the owl or the plane).

See you tomorrow, or today, depending on how you look at it.

Lily.

* * *

Lily arrived back in London on the 30th of August, jet-lagged, sunburnt and a little bit cranky. James would have been at the airport to greet his girlfriend but unfortunately her return clashed with his very first day of auror training. While Lily was going through customs at the airport, steadily getting less and less patient, James was being given perhaps the longest lecture of his life by none other than Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, Head Auror.

"We will push you to your absolute limit. Our world is at war, and we are needed more than ever. If you can't handle the pressure - the hours, the commitment, the spell-work, the danger - then you are in the wrong place. Leave now."

It was towards the end of the long and intimidating speech, as Moody paused to wait for the weaker recruits to throw in the towel. No one moved, this was a determined bunch.

"This afternoon you will be split into groups and assigned a group mentor. If you have any problems with the coursework, if you need someone to talk to, if you want help adjusting to the auror lifestyle, then your mentor is the person you go to," he said with a sour look on his face, as though the idea that anyone would need emotional support was repulsive.

"The rest of the day will be spent with your new group and mentor. They will become your family while you are in training and will be your support network when you officially join the auror office in the Ministry. Today your mentor will explain the layout of the course with regards to structured classwork, fieldwork and reporting. I wish you all luck and remember, constant vigilance!"

"Well that wasn't half intimidating," Cat whispered to Sirius who was sat to her right. James, on Sirius' other side, was nervously glancing around for a clock.

"I'm more worried about the groups we'll be in," Sirius said to Cat, as James was clearly distracted. "I don't know about you, but I do not much fancy having that Vance as a mentor. I mean, I know he's young and all, but I reckon he's the sort to take his job too seriously."

"Maybe taking things seriously is just what you lot need," said a tall, sandy haired man who had wandered up behind them.

"Gid! How are you?" James exclaimed happily, recognising the twenty-something year old man as Gideon Prewitt, an old family friend.

"Not too bad, Potter, not too bad. It's good to see you here. There's been lots of talk about David's son following in his father's footsteps," he grinned. James coloured slightly - though he was proud to be a Potter, he didn't want special treatment just because his father was a top auror.

"Don't tease him, Prewitt. You know James and his dad are like chalk and cheese," Sirius joked, trying to draw the focus off James.

"And Black! Of course you'd be here," Gideon quipped, "Another way to stick it to your family, ey?"

"Any opportunity," Sirius agreed grimly.

"Well then, best get started. I'm your mentor."

"You're joshing!"

"Nope. Apparently they think I've had enough 'experience in the field'," he air quoted with his fingers, "And am sufficiently responsible to look after the rookies. Clearly they don't know me at all," he joked.

"So does this mean James and I are in the same group?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"Yep, sure does. Along with a-" he consulted his list, "Catherine Jones-"

"It's Cat, thanks," Cat interrupted, unsure as to whether she liked this joking yet apparently tactless Gideon Prewitt.

"Okay, Cat. Also we've got a Louise Fournier, Jasmine Elliot and Leo Faulkner," Gideon called out over the crowd.

James, Sirius and Cat exchanged nervous glances - their future safety and general happiness would depend on the three people making up the remainder of their group.

The first to arrive was a girl with sleek black hair cut severely at the shoulders, dressed in tomboyish clothing and sporting a don't-mess-with-me look on her pretty face.

"Louise Fournier. I prefer Lou. I completed my schooling at Beauxbatons Academy but I came here to learn to fight," she said shortly before looking to the Marauders and Cat for their introductions. Before they could begin, another girl had wandered over.

"Hi, I'm Jasmine. Jasmine Elliot?" she asked as though it were a question.

"Yes, you're in the right group," Gideon confirmed, giving her a subtle up and down glance. She was a very pretty girl, after all. With pale, smooth skin, caramel coloured hair that was pulled back into a ponytail that reached halfway down her back, and legs that seemed to go for miles, she didn't fail to catch the attention of most males in the room.

"Faulkner?" Gideon yelled over the crowds, "Leo Faulkner?"

"Yeah, sorry, was talking to... Never mind," said an orange haired boy, who looked perhaps a few years older than Sirius and James.

"So, now that we're all here we may as well introduce ourselves," Gid suggested. "Let's start with you, Potter."

"Okay. Well, I'm James Potter, I'm pretty good at defence and transfiguration. I want to be an auror because I want to be able to fight back against Voldemort and his Death Eaters and stand a fighting chance. I have a girlfriend named Lily, and Padfoot here is my best friend," he concluded, pointing at Sirius.

And so the group continued around in a circle, introducing themselves with what they considered to be vital detail. The rest of the afternoon was spent discussing the course outline in terms of what would be expected of them and what they would be doing the following day (which would be a brief overview and practice of all defensive spells, before moving into pair and team tactics for battles).

**

* * *

Sirius' Occlumency Diary**

Interesting first day.

Gideon Prewitt is our group mentor. Smarmy git. I know he's just joking around but sometimes I'd honestly just like to slap that silly look off his face. I mean, it was bad enough that he teased James about his dad (which is a sensitive subject, I should know), but then he has the nerve to mention my family? He doesn't even know me that well!

Stupid bloody arse.

But I suppose he knows what he's talking about - he didn't get to be an auror for nothing, did he?

The rest of our group seems okay, though.

I was so relieved that Prongs and Cat are with me (not that I need support systems, but it's not exactly as though this is an easy job). Then there's also a carrot top by the name of Leo. He seems to be easily distracted (by the birds, obviously) and maybe a bit off with the faeries (so to speak) but he seems a nice enough bloke. He barracks for the Chudley Cannons so he can't be all bad.

There's also Louise (or Lou) who I think might go for the ladies. Call me crazy but my gay-dar is _never_ wrong, and I could've sworn she was giving my girlfriend the once over. Thank Merlin Cat has experimented and decided she's straight, otherwise I might feel insecure. And yes, when she told me she had experimented, I had the best night's sleep ever (best dreams, too).

Last, but certainly not least, was Jasmine Elliot. Or Jazz. Hot as.

Lucky I have somewhere to write this down and get it off my chest, otherwise I might go insane and accidentally say something to Cat. But seriously, she is smoking.

She came off as all timid and tentative to begin with but then she opened up and I tell you what, she has a Marauder sense of humour. She was cracking jokes with the best of us and to be honest, I think she might fancy James.

I love Lily like a sister... Well, sort of. The sort of sister you spent years with mild contempt for because she tried to rain on all pranking parades and stole the heart of a dearest friend. But still, the way she and Prongs feel about each other, you know, you have to respect it. And I'm glad to say that over the past year Lily has really become one of us. Or something like that. I don't know how to put it exactly. But, you know, she's pretty cool.

So I hope that this Jasmine doesn't set her sights on James, because it'd be pretty hard to resist her. If James and Lilyflower weren't already dating, I swear he would've put the moves on her. There was definitely a spark. Cat disagreed with me when I told her what I thought, but she has to, given that she's Lily's best friend and all...

I don't know, though.

We didn't get home till 9 tonight, and we have a seven am start tomorrow. I just wonder when Prongs is going to get a chance to see Lily. Not that it's really any of my business - Cat and I are practically together all the time and I get to go to work with my best mate - but I do worry where Prongs is concerned... He's never had the best luck with the ladies, particularly Lily.

I just hope that I'm wrong about this.

Mind you, Jazz is pretty cool. I don't think I'm going to mind hanging out with her at all.

In other news, the actual program sounds pretty good. We're trying to fit all our training into one and a half years to cope with the demand for aurors thanks to the 'Dark Lord', of course. It's going to be bloody stressful, but nothing I can't handle. As long as I don't have to deal with my brother. I know eventually I will have to face facts but I don't want to be the one to personally bring him into custody. I don't care if he is a death eater - he's still my brother...

* * *

Lily and James' eventual reunion was not ideal or even particularly memorable. Lily had been back since the middle of the week but the couple had been unable to see one another due to James' impossible hours and Lily's jet lag. They finally managed to see one another on the first Saturday after the auror training program had begun. Sirius had invited the girls over to the Marauder's new flat in Diagon Alley for a house-warming/beginning of new adventures/welcome home Peter and Lily party.

Lily was actually nervous about seeing James again after all the time they had spent apart. She felt as though she had stomach flu and really wished that she had skipped lunch because she was suddenly concerned about seeing it come back up again.

"Hey, are you okay?" Cat asked her as they walked up to the front door of an inconspicuous looking flat.

"Hmm, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," Lily said unconvincingly. Anna shot her a quizzical look.

"You look paler than normal. You're nervous about seeing James again, aren't you?"

Lily looked at Anna, slightly agog. How did she know exactly what Lily was thinking?

"How do you know exactly what I'm thinking?" she asked.

"You shouldn't be nervous, Lils. You guys are, well, not _perfect_," Cat began. "But, you know, you're Lily and James. You're meant to be together. Just relax."

"It's been more than a month since I've seen him. What if I've gotten fat? What if he's lost interest? What if-"

"Lily, what ifs will get you no where. The only way to find out is to go," and with that Anna pressed the doorbell and pushed Lily in front of her.

The door was jerked open and a flamboyantly dressed Sirius welcomed them into the spacious hall. Once the girls got over the colour of Sirius' silk muggle shirt (it was deep blue with lashings of magenta and canary yellow), they could appreciate what they could see of the flat. The hall opened up to a comfy-looking lounge room with a small muggle television sitting atop a stack of old quidditch magazines opposite a huge couch. Off one side of the lounge room was another hall which led to four moderately sized bedrooms and a bathroom. The other side of the room opened out to a kitchen and dining area.

"Ladies! We welcome you on this fine evening to the new accommodations of the devilishly handsome and witty men you know and love as Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. Welcome to the Marauders' new home!" Sirius announced with a flourish of his hands.

"Not too shabby, Sirius," Anna grinned, settling herself daintily on the edge of the couch. "Where are these aforementioned other men?"

"Oh, well, Remus is in the kitchen cooking as we all well know that if Prongs, Wormtail or I were to give it a go, we may very well poison you. Wormtail... WORMTAIL?" Sirius yelled.

"I'm in the loo!" a voice yelled back.

"He's in the loo," Sirius said pleasantly. "And James is making himself look pretty. He's a bit nervous you know," he said looking pointedly at Lily.

"I might just go say hi," Lily muttered, trying her best not to vomit. As she approached the door ostentatiously decorated with a gold plate emblazoned 'Prongs aka James 'quidditch god' Potter' she had the overwhelming sense of deja vu. Last time she had visited the Potter mansion and she had found James in his bedroom had been after their five day separation following the end of their time at Hogwarts. It had been difficult enough after five days, let alone a month!

Lily absently wondered if it was normal to be anxious about time apart from a boyfriend - _maybe we aren't meant to be together_, she thought frantically. Luckily, her overwrought mind and sense of imagination didn't have time to dwell on such things as James chose that moment to open his door.

"Lily!" he said in surprise, before enveloping her in his arms for a bone-crushing hug. Lily found her arms awkwardly bound to her sides, rendering her unable to hug him back. She chuckled nervously before pulling away.

"I'm nervous!" she blurted out. _Well, great. Good one Lily,_ she thought immediately.

"Yeah, me too," James agreed. "Want to come in for a minute?" Lily nodded and followed him inside.

James' new bedroom was surprisingly different from his room at school or at the Potter household. It had deep blue walls, with only a few posters stuck up here and there. Lily noticed that on the back of the door was a list entitled 'Goals' which seemed rather long. She also saw the book she had given James sitting by his double, though not four-poster, bed. The bed which the boy in question then sat down upon.

"You first," he said simply.

"I haven't seen you in ages and I was worried that we might've drifted, you might've lost interest, you know? It's hard to explain."

"I know what you mean, though. Seriously, all those letters I got from you that just went on and on about those people you met on holidays. Particularly the guys. I thought after all that time I spent trying to get you to go out with me, you'd just... Forget me."

"Oh, that's ridiculous!" Lily giggled, relieved that they both seemed to be on the same page. "I said I loved you and I meant it, you great lump!"

"Well so did I, so why are you worried?" James grinned, equally relieved.

"Why are you not kissing me?" Lily countered, launching herself on him.

The rest of the night was spent at the crowded kitchen table of the Marauders' new flat eating mexican food (because, as it had turned out, there had been a reason for Sirius' bright shirt) and discussing the week to come. Lily was to start her healer training at St Mungo's, Cat, Sirius and James were about to start their second week of auror training (for which they had an unusually large amount of reading preparation to complete), Remus had an interview for a position in a muggle book shop-come-cafe (as he had already given up on the idea of working in the wizarding world), while Anna and Peter were continuing into their already established jobs (in Flourish and Blotts and Eeylops Emporium, respectively). There was a hearty discussion in which Cat made a bet with Peter that she could become an animagus in less time than he had. Secretly, the other Marauders believed that Cat would probably win, but for friendship's sake decided to fence sit when it came to actually taking the bets. It was around about one in the morning when the girls finally decided to leave. The boys were insisting that they needed to escort the girls back to their flat, but in the end floo powder turned out to be the easiest option.

Goodnights and goodbyes were said and before they knew it the girls had collapsed onto their own couch in an exhausted heap.

"Well, that was fun," Cat slurred slightly - too much fire-whiskey perhaps being the cause.

"Yeah, we should definitely do that again," Anna said enthusiastically.

"You and Remus got on well," Lily noted.

"We are friends, you know? We're not as awkward as everyone seems to think."

"Why didn't you bring Caradoc along?" Cat asked.

"For one thing, he wasn't invited," Anna said sternly, "And for another, I really like him and he's a great guy and whatever, but that doesn't mean we have to do everything together, does it?"

"Suppose not," Lily said thoughtfully.

"And I don't really want to rub Remus' face in it - that I have someone and he doesn't," Anna added thoughtfully. "That's just poor form."

"Are you really sure you're over him?" Cat asked.

"Yeah," Anna smiled wistfully. "I'll always have a soft spot for him, how could I not after what we went through? But that's well over and done with now. I'm in love with Caradoc."

"Woah! You haven't said that before!" Cat said.

"Does he know?"

"Not yet," Anna replied, unable to wipe the happy grin off her face.

"Well what are you waiting for!?" Lily cried.

"Morning."

"Mm, good answer."

"What about you and James, Lils? What's going on there?" Cat asked.

"Oh, you know, same old."

"Gotten over your nerves?"

"Yeah, I was just being stupid. That's what happens when you spend too much time apart from the love of your life," she replied.

"That's so cheesy if it weren't you saying it I might have been sick," Cat joked.

"No, it's too cute," Anna said. "There's not a level of cheesiness that wouldn't work for you."

"Very funny," Lily deadpanned. "Now, come on, time for bed."

For now, Lily and James' problems seemed to disappear. They needn't have worried about their time apart, because clearly their love for one another wasn't going to fade. But greater trials stood in their way. Some that they could have anticipated but bigger and more dangerous ones that no one could have seen coming...

* * *

**AN - **So, what did you think? Lily and James really are a bit odd, aren't they? So insecure... but they may have their reasons...

Just a warning- things with certain characters may have to get worse (a lot worse) before they get better... not to be ambiguous or anything.

ONE MORE THING!!! I meant to post this on Saturday the 6th of March because it was my sister's 17th birthday (and, as you all know, that means she has come of age in the wizarding world). But I was too tired due to a house full of her 16-17yr old screaming friends so I didn't post it in time. If you have a moment and are feeling lovely, send her a happy birthday message by going to my list of fav authors and clicking on Mrs Rochester... if you feel like it, of course.

As usual, please read and review!!!

Also thanks to Monique101 who sends me messages when she thinks I've taken too long to post a chapter. Which does actually make me move faster. So thanks Monique - I appreciate your (and all my beautiful reviewers') feedback and encouragement.

ONE VERY LAST THING: THE TITLE!!! I'm just about to put up a poll and I would ask you to please vote on which name you think best for this story. Thanks.

Till next time, HAPPY FANFICCING :D


	4. New Beginnings and an Ultimatum

**Disclaimer - I do not own Harry Potter because, if I did, there would be a lot more romance, fluff, drama and James. Simple as that.**

**AN - ** It's been ages but I can't be bothered apologising. I am sorry (oh, whoops) for the wait, but it couldn't be helped. I hope you stay with this story in spite of my inability to post anything remotely on time. ENJOY!

**Last Time: **Lily and James were finding it difficult to find the time to spend together; James, Sirius and Cat had started auror training and were making new friends; Remus was crushing on his trainee healer and Peter was generally unimportant. (Nothing big has happened... yet)

* * *

**Chapter 3 - New Beginnings and an Ultimatum**

It three am and Lily was wide awake. She had spent her entire Sunday pouring over muggle textbooks about the human body in preparation for her first day as an intern at St Mungo's Hospital. Her first day which was to officially commence in... Six hours. Lily groaned and rolled over, facing away from her alarm clock. It would be okay if she had any confidence in her future but, truth be told, Lily wasn't sure that healing was the profession for her and her lack of conviction and altogether motivation was really concerning her. With NEWTs at least she had had a goal. What if she was no good at healing? Sure, she had an aptitude for charms, from which many healing spells stemmed, and she was a dab hand at potions which would obviously come in handy but was it really what she wanted to do with her life?

The result of her worries was a restless night, which is something nobody wants the night before they start a new job.

In Diagon Alley James, too, was lying awake staring at the ceiling. He was anxious for his second week of auror training to begin. There had been an article in the Sunday edition of the _Prophet_ that had severely disturbed him - an editorial that had actually been published about the importance of blood purity and maintaining the pure bloodlines in wizarding marriages. He was obviously worried for Lily's safety, but it was more than that. He didn't understand how people could actually think like that. How many people were going to be put in danger? How many were going to die?

These thoughts forced him out of his bed and into the kitchen of his shared flat.

Where he ran into Remus, who was sitting on the countertop eating a bowl of cereal.

"Moons? Cereal? It's three am."

"Yeah, can't sleep."

"Me neither."

"What's on your mind?" Remus asked, getting out a second bowl and passing James the box of Coco Pops.

"The usual - Lily, blood purity, Death Eaters, and basically our world going to hell in a hand basket, as Mum used to say," James sighed, "You?"

"A girl," Remus replied simply, "What's new with the Death Eaters?"

"It's not so much them as the people who support their ideals," James waved his hand dismissively. "A girl?"

"Yes, in spite of the fact that I am neat, intelligent and talk about my feelings with others, I am straight and therefore like girls," Remus intoned sarcastically.

"I know you do. Stop trying to change the subject. Who is she?" James said, slightly impatiently. "And, on a side note, if I was to question any Marauder's sexuality, it'd be Sirius' due to the abnormal amount of time he spends on his hair."

Remus chuckled slightly.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Who is she?"

"Oh, well, her name is Laura-"

"Ooh, good name," James grinned.

"And I've only met her, what, twice?"

"A promising start," James interrupted again.

"She's an intern at St Mungo's so she's, you know, bright. And beautiful. She gave me my potions and whatnot, and last time I was in there we had a discussion about Shakespeare because she saw _King Lear_ on my dresser-"

"That muggle poet guy that Lily likes? That's good."

"Anyway, it's stupid. She's practically my healer, I'm her patient. It wouldn't be ethical," Remus mumbled, stirring the dregs of his cereal dejectedly.

"Remus, mate, you're in there once a month for one night at the most. You're hardly a proper patient," James said, through a mouthful of cereal. "And I know you. It has nothing to do with her being your healer, does it? It's about the werewolf thing? Well, she already knows. It's not like she'll be surprised and drop you."

There was a pause.

"Sorry, didn't mean to be so harsh there," James said. Remus shrugged indifferently.

"It's just..."

James waited patiently.

"Just, I don't want to be another charity case. That's what I was to Claire and that went horribly. And I'm still not sure what went wrong with Anna, not that it matters, but let's face it, my relationships never work out. And how awkward would it be if I did go out with Laura then things didn't work out? I'd still have to see her every month, when I'm at my most vulnerable... I don't know..." Remus sighed heavily.

"Moony," James said bracingly, "You'll never know if you don't give it a go. What's the worst that can happen? It doesn't work out and it's a bit awkward. Nothing life-threatening. Just... Try to be optimistic," he offered.

Remus smiled slightly and set down is bowl of cereal.

"Thanks, Prongs. It's good advice. I wish I could help you out with yours but-" he sighed again, which James took to mean something hopeless about Death Eaters.

"No worries, I'm going to stay up and watch some muggle telly. Care to join me?"

"I think I'll be able to sleep now, but thanks anyway. Goodnight," Remus said, returning to his room.

_I wonder what's on telly at three in the morning?_ James pondered as he slumped into the couch, physically and mentally drained but unable to sleep.

_Maybe I should write Dad a letter? I haven't spoken to him in ages_. And so James grabbed the notepad on the coffee table one of the pens Remus had bought for the flat ("because they're more convenient than quills, Sirius!") and began to write to his father.

* * *

_Dear Dad,_

_What's new? I feel like we haven't spoken in ages. In spite of the fact that I've been training at the Ministry for a week, I still haven't run into you which makes me think you're probably away on a mission somewhere. But don't worry, Ringo will find you. _

_I suppose if you're away then you didn't read today's article in the Prophet? It was an editorial sent in by one of the readers about how pure-bloods should only marry other pure-bloods. And the Prophet __published__ it! _

_I shouldn't be surprised, really. It was only a matter of time before someone in the Prophet gave in to their fear and published what Voldemort wanted published. _

_In other news, auror training is good. Hard work, I guess, but knowing that I'll be able to help properly at the end of training helps. _

_I've got some great people in my group, too, so it's not all bad. _

_Only thing is, I have hardly gotten to spend any time with Lily since we graduated. It's hard. I mean, it wasn't awkward when I saw her on the weekend, but it didn't feel like it did at Hogwarts. I feel sort of distant. It's weird. Did this ever happen to you and mum? I only ask because I really love her and I don't want to let us drift apart. _

_Wow, it must be the wee hours of the morning if I'm asking my dad for romantic advice! I think I'm ready for bed now. _

_I really hope you're safe, Dad. Write back if you have the chance. _

_James._

_

* * *

"What are you thinking about?"_

"Nothing much, you?"

"You."

"I'm touched," Caradoc grinned, his smile dazzling Anna slightly.

The were currently on a boat in the middle of a large, glassy lake somewhere in Scotland. Anna had taken the day off work to floo to the training lodge where Caradoc was staying with the members of the Pride of Portree (he was trialling to see how he'd fit into the team). Since training was scheduled for that evening, the pair had decided to spend the day alone together just enjoying each other's company. Caradoc had planned on fishing - a muggle pastime that he had not tried before.

"No, but really. There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now," Anna said with a coy smile, although she was twisting her hands with anxiety all the same.

"You're not pregnant or anything, are you?" Caradoc joked.

"Oi! I don't look it, do I?" Anna hit him on the should, indignant.

"I'm kidding, Anna," he grinned.

"Hmm, well maybe I don't want to tell you what I was going to tell you now," she huffed.

"Oh, come on," Caradoc whined, "I was just kidding!"

"Well, okay, you've twisted my arm," Anna grinned, eager to get it out there. "I love you."

"You... wait, what?" Caradoc was genuinely lost for words.

"I love you, you nut. I don't know when it happened, but you've gone from that guy who I used to date, who used to be a bit of fun to a proper, genuinely-caring-about-us boyfriend. And I didn't realise it until the other night but I love you. I'm falling in love with you..." she trailed off. She hadn't meant to just blurt it out. She had wanted to work up to it with some dramatic pauses for effect. Usually your happy-go-lucky, in it for a laugh girl, not the serious one who got teary (which she certainly was now) when talking about her feelings, Anna was a bit surprised to find her stomach twisting itself in knots waiting for her boyfriend's response.

"Are you sure?" Caradoc asked, still mildly in shock.

Anna merely nodded solemnly, her boyfriend realising that he had been waiting for her to say those three words ever since he'd admitted that he was falling for her back in Dufftown before the Death Eater attack.

"I know I haven't said it to you because I didn't think you wanted me to. Because of the thing with Remus and our history and... Oh, bugger it, I love you too," he said passionately, leaning across and pulling her in for a mind-blowing kiss that left them both breathless.

"I don't know why I didn't say it sooner," Anna beamed. "I know I've never felt this way before. Just so happy and everything's okay as long as you're here."

"Oh, now, don't go getting mushy on me," Caradoc chastised jokingly. "That's not the Anna Brown I fell in love with."

Anna just rolled her eyes, "Oh, shut up and kiss me."

"There she is," Caradoc grinned before rolling so that he was effectively lying on top of Anna in the small boat.

Needless to say, not a lot of fishing got done that afternoon...

* * *

Sleep-deprived, nauseous and a little bit cranky, Lily arrived at St Mungo's five minutes before her orientation was due to start. She had been so nervous that she'd hardly eaten a thing for breakfast and her study had continued well until five AM. Yawning widely, she tried to hang onto the tiny bit of consciousness she had left.

_I can do this, I can make it through the day without falling asleep. Five am bedtimes are a thing of the past_, she mentally repeated over and over.

"Lily Evans?"

Lily looked up at that familiar, accented voice.

"Matt!?"

Standing before her, sporting blue intern robes and neatly combed dark blond hair, was Matthew Frazer - the Australian backpacker she had met during her summer holiday.

"You're a witch?"

"You're a wizard?"

"What are you doing here, Lily?" he asked incredulously, mouth half open in white-toothed wonderment.

"The same as you, I presume - training to be a healer?" she replied, with a grin.

"Small world, huh?" Matt said, moving forward to give Lily a hug, which she returned with enthusiasm.

"Wow, I can't believe you're here," Lily said. "It's so good to see a familiar face."

"Tell me about it. Not only am I in a new country, but I am living with strangers in a muggle share-house and starting an incredibly demanding training course that I feel completely unprepared for," he exclaimed.

"Well at least we can lean on each other. I don't have any of my friends from school doing this course so I'm just as stressed as you."

"Lily!?"

"Dorcas?"

Lily saw the short, dark-haired witch walking happily towards her, her black Ministry-issue robes billowing out behind her.

"What are you doing here? I thought you worked in the Department of Mys-"

"Whoa, stop talking! Experimental charms division, remember? Here to see some allegedly imperiused wizards who tried to break into a muggle orphanage this morning. Aurors are waiting for me somewhere..." she said darkly, before her eyes landed on Matt. "And who is this?"

"Matthew Frazer, Mam," Matt replied, sticking out his hand politely.

"Dorcas Meadows, Ministry of Magic," she replied, shaking his hand with her left one. Lily caught a glimpse of something shiny in the light.

"You're engaged!" she gasped, pointing at the ring. Dorcas blushed. "You weren't wearing that at the last meeting," Lily said, referring to their last Order Meeting. She and Dorcas had been corresponding via the owl post since they had met following the Death Eater Attack the night of Petunia's wedding.

"You haven't been to one in a while. And besides, it's about time," Dorcas replied with a grin.

"We should catch up some time, outside of the you-know-what," Lily suggested.

"Good idea, you can bring that gorgeous boyfriend of yours," Dorcas said. "How is Potter?"

"Honestly? I'm not really sure. I only just got back from Australia - where I met Matt-" she gestured to the awkward boy next to her, "And we haven't properly talked. Well, we didn't do much talking when we saw each other, that is," she blushed.

Dorcas chuckled.

"I know that feeling. Ah, to be young! Anyway, I had better track down these patients. Best not keep the aurors waiting - I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Mad-Eye."

"Fair enough, he's a bit... Formidable," Lily agreed.

"See you soon."

"For sure. Nice to meet you Matt," Dorcas said, walking away down the corridor.

"Sorry, Matt," Lily apologised. "I know it's rude to do that but I haven't seen Dorcas in ages-"

"No need to apologise, Lily," Matt smiled. "It'd be nice to meet some of your friends at some point. And your boyfriend. I literally know no-one here."

"Why'd you come to London anyway? Don't they have magical hospitals in Australia?"

"Well, they do. But they aren't as highly recommended as St Mungo's. Nowhere is. And I thought, if I'm going to learn, I may as well get the best training possible. But you're right. Three years is a long time to be away from home."

"Do you think you'll stay here after we're done training?" Lily asked as they continued to search for their supervising healer and trainee group.

"It depends how things pan out here, I suppose," he said, looking at the ground.

"Evans, Frazer?"

"Yes," the pair replied.

"I'm healer Syracuse. I'm in charge of the training program and I will be assigning you to your supervising healers. If you'd like to wait with the group in the level five tearooms, I'll be with you shortly. I'm trying to round up everyone before we begin," she smiled warmly.

Lily and Matt then made their way towards the elevators which took them to the fifth floor, talking about the times they had spent together during the holidays and generally catching up. Lily was surprised to see Matt of all people at St Mungo's but she was more than a little glad. Having a friend going into the course would make things so much easier, especially considering her other friends were so busy with their own lives.

When they reached the tearooms, they were met with a sea of faces - both old and young - all in the same blue intern robes talking nervously among themselves. Ten minutes after Lily and Matt's arrival, Healer Syracuse entered the room with a handful of fully qualified healers in her wake, wearing green robes. Lily recognised one of them as Jean Brown - Anna's mother - and gave her a smile of recognition. Although Lily had never really liked the way Jean and her husband often neglected Anna (whether it was due to Jean's work, or their travels together as a well-off sociable couple) but Jean had her moments.

Lily found herself lucky enough to be assigned to Jean as an intern (something she suspected Jean had requested) which meant that she already had an advantage over the other interns as she knew and, by and large, got along with her healer. She was better off than Matt, who was assigned to the perpetually grumpy-looking Healer Daniels. They spent the rest of the day on rounds with the healers, taking notes and helping patients take potions, etc. Lily was exhausted by the end of the day and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, so she and Matt arranged to have drinks after work the following night at a muggle pub in London. Lily had to admit she was looking forward to talking with her new friend, but was grateful for the comfort of her bed that night when she got home.

* * *

_Hey Lily,_

_How has your healer training been going? I know you've only been there two days but Cat said you already have a friend in the program. Someone from your holiday? I thought you were only travelling with muggles? But anyway, I thought we should have dinner tomorrow night (Wednesday - just incase your training has been so hectic you've forgotten the day of the week), just you and me. Owl me back because I want to cook for you. _

_Love, James_

_

* * *

James,_

_That sounds really nice. I'll tell you about Matt (the non-muggle friend from Australia) tomorrow night. But why don't I cook? No offence, but according to Remus the last time you cooked for your flatmates, you all got food poisoning and I don't much fancy spending our limited time together with my head over the toilet bowl. _

_Love, Lily. _

_

* * *

Oh, ye of little faith! _

_But, well, Remus is telling the truth so fair enough. _

_I'll be over at seven thirty, unless training runs over. I'll let you know if it does. _

_Love, James._

_

* * *

_

It was Tuesday night and James was sitting on his bed in the Marauders' humble flat, staring out the window, trying to will an owl to appear in the distance carrying a note from either Lily of his father. It had been months since he had seen his dad in the flesh and although James knew that it was because his father was busy fighting the Dark Arts and Voldemort's Death Eaters, it didn't make him miss David any less. In fact, worry for his dad's wellbeing sometimes made the poor former quidditch captain sick to his stomach (although he wouldn't admit that to anyone except, maybe, Sirius).

James had been writing in his Occlumency Diary a lot, of late, something he attributed to his absolute exhaustion after auror training. There was just so much going on and so much to remember, that he thought his head might explode if he didn't write it all down. And then there was, of course, his concerns about Lily. He felt that maybe all the space they'd had, so soon in their relationship, had been more detrimental than helpful. The impression he was getting from her letters was that although she loved him, she could quite easily do without him. And not being needed was not something the Potter men were used to. Had he actually asked Lily, he would've discovered that she did not feel this way at all, but James had always been rather stubborn.

Then, as if all his wishing and hoping had finally paid off, James' keen, quidditch-honed eyes picked up on a small dot in the distance. Crawling across his bed to the window, he yanked the glass pane upwards, letting the black owl into his room.

Immediately James felt a sense of trepidation - this was not his father's owl.

* * *

_James Potter, _

_You are an intriguing personality, I will give you that. _

_In spite of my efforts, my threats and my interest in you, you have repeatedly refused to comply with my wishes. I do not wish to unnecessarily spill magical blood, so I am offering you one last opportunity to save yourself and your mudblood girlfriend. Stop resisting with your pathetic Order. Dumbledore is a fool if he thinks he can thwart me with a couple of school students and a handful of aurors who, Lord Voldemort would like to assert, have failed completely in trying to keep the muggles and the mudbloods safe from my Death Eaters, of whom they have captured very few. _

_If this does not tell you all you need to know, then you are not nearly as bright as everyone seems to think you are. _

_I know everything about your world, James, and I intend to destroy it, bit by bit, piece by piece. _

_Starting with your mudblood girlfriend. She helped identify three of my Death Eaters yesterday who were claiming to be under the imperius curse. Of course, they were simply acting on my instructions to kill those muggles. Miss Evans was able to identify that they were acting of their own free will. And I cannot have that. _

_I have it on good authority that she is training to be a healer with Jean Brown. They make a lot of house calls, as I understand it. _

_Imagine if they were to answer a call from one of my Death Eaters. I think that their subsequent actions would upset you, and probably her family a great deal. _

_Women like Lily Jane Evans are a great asset to this so-called 'Resistance Movement' and Lord Voldemort cannot possibly support this. So I leave you with two options. _

_One, continue as you are and I will... eliminate said asset myself, or two, you remove her reason for fighting. You know what her reasons are. To put it in terms you will understand - you ditch the mudblood or I will dispose of her myself. _

_The choice is yours. _

_And, James, I will not be as lenient with my time as I have been in the past. You have a fortnight._

_Lord Voldemort._

_

* * *

James knew that he would never show the letter to anyone. Not even Dumbledore could keep Lily safe twenty-four hours a day. As much as James wanted to scream and rage and rant at the letter and, more importantly, at its sender, he couldn't. He had been out-manoeuvred. It was over. He could not bear to cause Lily pain, even though he would have to emotionally destroy them both to keep her safe. She could never know, either. She would insist that there was a way around it, try and deceive Voldemort, even though he would undoubtedly uncover their efforts immediately. _

"Dammit, Lily!" he raged quietly. "Why couldn't you keep a low profile? WHY did you have to get those Death Eaters arrested?" He jumped off the bed and began to pace. He honestly could see no safe way out of the situation without hurting Lily.

Unless he made her want to dump him. The thought occurred to him that if he treated her poorly enough, she would grow less and less patient and would be the one to break it off. As much as he didn't want to ruin all the effort he had put into making Lily realise that he was a good person, James much preferred that Lily hate him rather than Lily be emotionally torn to shreds by him.

_And besides, she's already started to make new friends. She might not even be that upset_, said the nasty voice in James' head. _She'll move on and she won't think twice about it_.

It was at that point that the reality of the situation hit him.

He was going to lose the love of his life and there was no way that he could prevent it.

A great heaving sob tore itself from his chest and he fell to he knees in the middle of his room, his body convulsing with inconsolable anguish.

Cat and Sirius, who had been in the lounge watching muggle television, heard the commotion and rushed into James' room, prepared to fight off the enemy, only to find their friend hunched over himself on his carpet. Cat was the first to notice the note crumpled in his hand.

"What's that?" she asked.

James, realising what would happen if anyone but him saw the note, whipped out his wand and set the paper on fire, reducing it to a pile of ash in one second flat, thankful that he hadn't shed any actual tears.

"Prongs, mate, what's wrong?" Sirius asked, unnatural frown creases marring his usually smooth forehead.

James remained silent, just wanting them to go away.

"James?" Cat pushed.

"Nothing," James replied, getting up and turning away from them. "Just bad news."

"What sort of bad news?" Sirius asked, concerned.

"Nothing," James repeated, staring resolutely out his window but not seeing anything. "It's fine."

"Mate, if you want-"

"I said it's FINE!" James shouted, effectively ridding himself of his troublesome friends who proceeded to Sirius' room to worry over their friend's odd behaviour.

James then saw another owl flying towards his window. This time, he recognised it as his own owl, no doubt carrying Lily's reply.

_

* * *

Seven thirty it is. I can't wait to see you and tell you about everything that's happened. _

_I miss you. _

_Love Lils xx_

James dissolved into tears.

* * *

That Friday, Remus lay in his hospital bed, every muscle in his body aching, his bones heavy and the pain in his left arm screaming out for attention. But Remus wasn't focused on any of these things, nor was he listening to a word his healer was saying to him (she was mostly talking aloud to herself anyway). No, he was too busy watching the third-year intern Laura as she busied herself with the sheets of the patient in the bed opposite his.

"So drink those potions, Lupin, and then you should rest some more. You should be fit to go home tomorrow morning," said Healer Stevens, before marching out of the ward.

Remus made a noise of assent and continued to follow Laura with his eyes. He wanted to say something to her - James was right, what did he really have to lose? But what to say? Remus wanted to be intelligent and funny and kind, but how can that be expressed in a short sentence? What Remus really wanted was to go on a date with the pretty girl, but he knew it would be many, _many_ months more before he could work up that sort of courage. It was fortunate then that she was the one to start the conversation.

"How are you feeling?" Laura asked, her brown eyes travelling over Remus' body searching for visible injuries, making the werewolf blush.

"I've been worse," he grimaced, "But Healer Stevens thinks I'll be out tomorrow morning so it can't be to bad."

"Ah, an optimistic patient, that's what I like to see," Laura joked, and Remus finally identified the slight Scottish accent in her voice.

"Are you from Scotland?" he blurted, his ears now turning the same colour as his cheeks in further embarrassment.

"Yes, well picked up," Laura said, putting down Remus' chart and looking at him intently. "Most people guess Irish because my accent's not that strong."

"My grandfather was born in Scotland," Remus explained. "I used to love listening to him read the newspaper aloud when I was a kid. Whereabouts in Scotland are you from?"

"We lived in the Highlands when I was a kid, near Loch Ness, then we moved to the Lakes District in England because the weather was marginally better for my mother's health. We have a farm with all sorts of magical and non-magical creatures, but I live in London for obvious reasons."

"Did you ever see Nessie?" Remus grinned.

"Not to this day, but I'm sure she's in there somewhere," Laura replied. "Do you know much about muggle folklore?"

"My mum is a muggle."

"I'm half and half, too, except my mum is a witch. My dad's the muggle of the family."

"I don't remember you at Hogwarts," Remus probed, unable to help himself.

"What is this, Remus, twenty questions?" Laura teased and Remus blushed again. "I was home-schooled because mum was ill on and off during the years when I would have been at Hogwarts so we stayed home to look after her."

"I'm sorry," Remus apologised. "Is she okay now?"

"At the moment," Laura replied with a small smile.

There was a small pause.

"I'm sorry. I'm keeping you from your work," Remus said quietly.

"No, it's alright," Laura replied. "Honestly, it's more interesting to talk to you than any of my other patients. And besides, it's almost time for my break."

"Well in that case, I had better let you go. No-one likes to miss out on their tea break," Remus joked.

"Would you like one? Tea?"

Remus hesitated for a moment.

"That would be nice... if it's not too much trouble," he added hastily.

"Be right back," she turned and, with a swish of her ponytail, was gone.

Remus lay back, staring at the ceiling in wonderment. He had managed to have an entire conversation with the beautiful healer without embarrassing himself too badly. He was toying with the idea of writing about it in his occlumency journal when Lily entered the ward.

"Remus!" she said quietly but with great enthusiasm, hurrying over to his bed and giving him the once over. "How are you?"

"Never been better," he joked, pulling himself back up to sitting. Lily wrapped her arms gently around him in a hug that she was as much grateful for as he was.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in years!" she exclaimed.

"Training that busy?" Remus remarked.

"It's ridiculous! I'm working with a qualified healer but I had the misfortune to get the one who does house-calls. I'm actually with Anna's mum, coincidentally enough. But it's just been a mad week. I was supposed to see James on Wednesday night but he... Well, he forgot..."

Remus looked closely at Lily, noting the slightly purple rings under her eyes which briefly held a look of bitter disappointment. He thought it best not to mention that James had spent Wednesday night at the pub with his auror training group...

Remus was going to ask if she was alright, but she continued to talk at top speed.

"But it doesn't really matter, I mean, he's busy and tired too so I can't really complain. Although Cat said their whole training group went out on Wednesday night for drinks which is when James was supposed to be having dinner with me... But he was probably just at home sleeping; like I said, it's not his fault. Oh, and I met up with one of my friends I met in Australia! Turns out he's a wizard _and_ he's come here to do his healer training. I was so relieved to find someone I knew on the first day - it's been so good to have someone with me who's going through the same things."

Remus was slightly taken aback by Lily's ranting - she was usually a lot calmer than this and he suspected that one to many pepper-up potions might be the cause...

"But Matt's a really nice guy-"

"He's a guy friend?"

"Yeah, and he's really good to talk to, you know? Kind of like you but doing healing and he's Australian. Oh, but I'm being so rude. How are _you_, Remus? I came as soon as I could go on my break - I've been wanting to check up on you all morning."

"I'm alright," Remus replied. "Are you?"

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm absolutely fine," Lily nodded fervently, though her voice cracked slightly. "Why do you ask?" her eyes seemed to be getting a little damp.

"You just seem a little stressed, that's all," Remus said, frowning to see his friend so erratic.

"No, no, I'm good, I'm good," Lily said quickly, swiping impatiently at her eyes. "Just a busy day."

"Oh, okay," Remus said, still eyeing her with concern. "Well, my day is going surprisingly well."

"Really?" Lily asked, trying her best to focus on Remus. "What's happened?"

"Well, Healer Stevens has a third-year intern working for her, and her name's Laura and she and I get on quite well. What?" he stopped at the look of amusement that had suddenly appeared on Lily's face.

"Nothing, nothing, go on," she replied.

"I guess it's just nice to have someone here to talk to."

"Why aren't James and Sirius here?"

"They couldn't get out of training just for me. But it's nice, though, because she's someone new and interesting and-"

"Milk and sugar?" Laura asked, entering the ward with a tray of tea and biscuits. Remus turned bright red.

"I'll see you later, Remus," Lily said with a wide grin, as she walked past Laura on her way out.

"Who was that?" Laura asked casually, as she set down the tray on Remus' nightstand.

"My friend Lily," Remus replied as Laura sat down in the chair next to his bed. "We were prefects together at Hogwarts and now she's dating one of my best friends, James... Although I'm not sure how long that's going to last," he frowned.

"Really, why?" she asked as she poured the tea into some mugs.

"What is this, twenty questions?" Remus grinned as he added two packets of sugar into his tea. Laura just rolled her eyes. "Well, she's here all the time and he's doing auror training and this week forgot he had planned a date with her."

"Ooh, ouch," Laura said. "That doesn't sound good."

"Hmm," Remus agreed. "Thanks for the tea."

"No problem, it beats sitting in the staffroom so it's not trouble."

"Who do you normally spend your breaks with, then?"

"No-one, usually I sit in the fifth floor tearooms with a book."

Remus was suddenly filled with a warm feeling in his chest that had nothing to do with the tea. Not only was Laura a Shakespeare fan (something he had learnt last week) but she enjoyed reading nearly as much as he did.

"So, James has Lily. What about your other friends - the ones that always visit you when you're in here?"

"Well, Sirius - the good-looking one is dating Catherine. They're both doing auror training with James and nearly got married last year because they are both very stubborn people-"

"Wait, what?"

"It's a long story," Remus grinned. "And Peter, the shorter, err, plumper one, he's single if you're looking for love."

Laura laughed gently and Remus couldn't help but be glad that he had made her laugh because as far as laughter went, it was quite pretty.

"What about you?" she asked offhandedly. Or at least, Remus thought it was offhandedly.

"No. I'm not seeing anyone. It's hard in my... condition."

"You don't let it stop you from dating, do you?" Laura asked curiously.

"How many werewolves do you know who date?" Remus countered.

"That's a good point, Remus, but you should be braver than that. You shouldn't let what you become once a month dictate what you do with the rest of your time."

"You sound like my friends."

"Sounds like your friends have the right idea," she challenged.

"Well, I did date," Remus said awkwardly, not sure he wanted to divulge the ins and outs of his complicated history.

"And what went wrong?" Laura asked softly. "You don't have to tell me!" she hastened to add.

"The first girl, Anna. I fell in love with her but then she ditched me when she found out about my condition-"

"I can't believe that-"

"But she later apologised," Remus interrupted, "And wanted me back but by then too much had happened."

"I can see why you wouldn't want to date, I guess," Laura said. "Not that it's any of my business, of course."

"Later in my seventh year I dated a girl called Claire, but then I found out that she was really just with me out of pity. She didn't really care about _me_," Remus trailed off. "I'm sorry. You didn't ask for my life story."

"If it makes you feel any better, my track record is not much better than that," Laura said.

Remus looked up at her, "Don't feel obliged to tell me just to make me feel better," he said, a hint of bitterness in his voice, thanks to refreshed memories of Claire and her charity-case tendencies.

"I don't."

There was a silence as they sipped their tea. Then Laura struck up a conversation about Shakespeare's sonnets. It was a safe topic that they were both interested in and served to break the tension quite nicely.

"My break's nearly over," Laura said at last, aware that her break must've finished at least twenty minutes ago, but not really caring.

"Oh, okay then," Remus said, desperately not wanting their time to end.

"You should probably take those potions now. The one on the right is the sleeping draught so take that last, yeah?"

"Okay, thanks," Remus smiled.

"I'll see you later," she replied, walking out of the ward. Remus thought this would be the perfect opportunity to write in his journal.

* * *

**Remus' Occlumency Diary**

I just spent over an hour talking with Laura. It was undoubtedly the best post-wolf morning I've had in a long while. I can't believe how much we have in common, love of muggle literature included, of course.

I haven't felt this way around a girl in a long, _long_ while. I get embarrassed really easily in front of her, I always want to look my best (which is rarely possible, considering the time of month she always sees me), I really want to impress her... The strangest thing, though, is how she is just so easy to talk to. I don't know if it's something they teach you as part of your healer beside manner or something, but there's just an openness to her that makes me want to tell her everything. I had no intention of talking about Claire or Anna and yet it just came tumbling out of my mouth.

I really like her.

* * *

"Remus?"

The werewolf was drawn out of his reflections to see Laura once entering his ward.

"I thought your break was finished?"

"It is. I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go for a drink sometime?" she asked, willing herself not to play with her hair - a nervous habit.

_Say yes, say yes, say YES!_ Remus' brain was screaming, but the logical side of him wasn't having a bar of it.

"You're not asking me because of my pathetic history, are you?" he asked. "Not trying to make me feel better about myself?"

"Remus, I'm a healer. I have an entire hospital to take pity on if I wanted to. I'm just asking for a drink."

"Isn't it against protocol, or something?" Remus asked, for some reason trying to find a way out of it. Blind panic could be the best term to describe what he was feeling.

"You're only in here once a month and one drink is hardly anything to be broadcasting," Laura protested, starting to get annoyed.

"But... Why?"

"Look, if you don't want to, just say no," Laura demanded, putting a hand on her hip.

"No, of course I want to!" Remus said quickly.

"You do?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay, sure. I'll owl you," she smiled. "Now drink those potions," she said in her best healer voice before leaving for the last time that day.

As Remus drifted off to sleep, he felt incredibly happy and calm and it had nothing to do with the potion.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

I'm sure he didn't mean to forget.

I mean, auror training is difficult and time consuming. He was probably so tired by the time he got home that he couldn't stay awake long enough to send me a note.

Mind you, knowing this doesn't make me feel like any less of a loser. I spent two hours making a proper roast beef and dessert, just the way mum used to when dad had had a big day at work. And there I was still sat at the table at ten o'clock when Cat stumbled into the flat, tipsy as hell and dragging Sirius - who smelt like a brewery - behind her.

It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my existence. Me sat there in my favourite dress with the jewellery James gave me, sodding candles and all. And he doesn't show.

I know I should feel mad but mostly I'm just depressed.

This healing thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's long hours and it's not nearly as rewarding as I would've hoped. Half the time the patients don't even want your help. I just feel super under-valued at the moment.

I wrote a letter to Dorcas this afternoon. On my first day of training I got to help with the tests on alleged imperius curse victims (because they knew I have an aptitude for charms). We discovered that three of the five involved in the muggle attacks that morning were not imperiused and were therefore acting of their own free will, which meant that I effectively helped in a very important arrest.

Anyway, we've been writing to each other for a while now - ever since the attacks the night of Petunia's wedding last year - and we've become friends through the Order as well. She reckons I'd be better placed in the Experimental Charms division of the Ministry of Magic, and right now I'd have to say I agree with her. I'm already sick of blue robes and that hospital smell. I thought I could put up with it but after a while it starts to give me headaches. It's a good thing, I guess, that I get to go on house calls with Jean. Although she can be a bit... Never mind, I should just be thankful I'm not in Matt's position with Healer Daniels as my mentor. I'm really glad Matt's in the program. It's good to have a friend to chat with on tea breaks. He wasn't really familiar with the whole Voldemort/War thing and once I filled him in he seemed to be second guessing his decision to come to England. But as he said, it is the best English-speaking, training hospital in the wizarding world.

....

I still can't believe James forgot.

* * *

Harry sighed as he turned the page of his mother's diary. He did not like where things were going. How on Earth did his father manager to get around Voldemort's ultimatum, and at what cost? Harry decided that it would be best to take a break from reading for a moment and perhaps talk things over with Ginny. Voldemort's letter was bringing back painful memories of Harry sacrificing himself during the Battle of Hogwarts to save his classmates and all others who opposed Voldemort. It was still something that played over in his nightmares - not the walk to his own death, but the feeling of hopelessness he had felt when he thought he would no longer be able to help or save or rescue his friends. No doubt this was how his father had felt all those years ago. Like he was surrendering with no hope for his or Lily's futures.

* * *

**AN **- It's been months. And of course I would stay up till 3am to write this, just like the old days. It is pretty much a rule of writing that the more assignments you have to do, the more fanfiction you will write. So enjoy it while it lasts :P

But thank-you to those of you who have stuck with this story and to those of you who have also read the original scribblings and have deemed it good enough to read the sequel :) your support and reviews are greatly appreciated!!

I have the entire sequel mapped out and now that we're getting to the juicy conflict bits and new romance-y bits (both of which are soooo much fun to write) there shouldn't be as long a wait between chapters. It won't be quick, mind you, but neither will it be months between chapters. Because that annoys me as much as it does you because I can never remember who's who and what they did last time haha.

NEXT TIME: Will James succeed in turning Lily away? What will happen to their friendship?  
Remus and Laura go on their first date, Cat and Sirius take their animagi out for a spin, Anna gets involved in reporting an incident that will put her in danger, another Order Meeting, and James continues to have an emotional breakdown. In short, bits you will enjoy, bits that are filler, and bits you will no doubt hate. but in a good way :P

Till then, please review, thanks for reading and HAPPY FANFICCING :D


	5. Stupid Decisions

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I would've included 'Wizard Angst' by PotterPuppetPals and Neil Cierga somewhere in the fifth book. Just for giggles

**AN - **It's been a while, but not as long as usual. Last you read, James had received a letter from Voldemort telling him to break Lily's heart (long story), Remus and Laura agreed to go on a date, Cat and Sirius are still happily dating... and Lily is blue. With good reason.

But yes. ENJOY!

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Stupid Decisions**

October brought with it an early chill, and the trees were beginning to turn. But for Hogwarts' latest graduates, the premature descent into winter went unnoticed as all of them were far too busy running their own lives.

Caradoc was training everyday in Scotland with the Pride of Portree, which meant that in her lunch breaks and after her working days at Flourish and Blotts, Anna would commute and spend as much time with her boyfriend as possible. Lily was flat out at the hospital, spending her break times with what seemed like her only friend there - Matt. Increasingly she found herself wondering what James was doing, what he was thinking, etc, the reason being that she hardly saw him anymore. It had been two weeks since he had stood her up at dinner with only a short note of explanation: _Lily, got held up at work. Sorry, James_.

Lily would not have let this stand usually. The Lily of seventh year and below probably would've yelled and ranted, thrown names about and probably sent a howler to the insensitive boy. But this Lily was just too tired. She didn't have the time or the energy to be mad at James. She was more worried about what was happening to them as a couple. They were supposed to be the 'destined to be together' pair with some sort of epic love story, and here they were just drifting apart, too busy to make time for one another.

The boy in question was constantly at training with Sirius and Cat, and when they weren't at the Ministry or training in the field, he was sleeping or writing in his Occlumency Journal, avoiding Lily at all costs even though it made him feel physically ill. He knew she wouldn't stand for it much longer, but so far Voldemort had not followed through on his threat, and that was the only thing that kept James going with the ridiculous charade.

Remus, on the other hand, was not overrun with work or struggling through emotional turmoil. For once, everything in _his_ life seemed to be going to plan. Although he only had employment in a muggle cafe - a job Remus knew was beneath his academic prowess - he was happily earning his own income, sharing a house with his best friends, and almost-dating a beautiful girl who could, quite possibly, be the love of his life.

Laura had been busy at St Mungo's due to the wizard flu doing the rounds and so the pair had been unable to organise their date until the second week of October.

* * *

"Remus! What are you doing here?" Lily called across the crowded St Mungo's reception area.

"Lily! I haven't seen you in ages," Remus grinned, crossing the room to give Lily a hug. When he pulled back, he noticed that she seemed rather stressed out. Her red hair was slightly greasy and falling out of her bun, she had dark circles under her eyes and her blue robes looked as though they'd been slept in. Which they had.

"I know it's been ages, I just haven't had the time!" Lily said, unconsciously smoothing her robes down.

"You look... Busy," Remus said tactfully, but Lily didn't miss the concern in his tone.

"I know I look terrible, but it's the wizard flu. It's been doing the rounds and I'm flat out going to people's homes and brewing them sneezing solutions and temperature stabilisers. You wouldn't believe how busy it's been!"

"Well, from what Laura's told me, you've all been having a rough time of it," he said with concern.

"Ah, yes, Laura. I've spoken to her a few times in the break room. How are things going there?" Lily smiled slyly.

"Well, you know, she's been busy," Remus blushed, his hand going to scratch the back of his neck. "But I fancy her quite a bit," he grinned.

"Excellent! From what I hear, she fancies you too. Even asked me what your favourite food was!"

"And what is my favourite food?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure it's not mexican after what happened the other weekend."

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted Sirius' self proclaimed culinary skills," Remus groaned.

"You should never trust him in the kitchen again, if you ask me," Lily chuckled.

"Have you seen James since that weekend?" Remus probed, guessing correctly that stress might be related to Lily's ill appearance.

"Um, no, not really. I haven't really spoken to him since he stood me up at dinner the other week."

"I'm sure he was just busy with work," Remus said placatingly.

"That's not what Cat said, but I know he's busy so I don't want to make a fuss."

"Don't want to make a fuss? Lily, he's supposed to be your boyfriend, make all the fuss you want."

"What's the use. I'm busy, he's busy - it's as simple as that."

"The Lily I went to school with wouldn't have put up with this nonsense," Remus pushed.

"Are you trying to make me mad at him?" Lily said angrily.

"No, I'm just saying it's not like you to give up so easily."

"I'm not giving up, I'm just too tired to-"

"Lily, stop it. I can see how upset you clearly are. Not even during NEWTs did you look so crappy, no offence," he reasoned, as Lily glared up at him. "Obviously you're upset about the way things are at the moment, but using your respectively stressful and time consuming jobs as excuses isn't going to make things any better. Perhaps you should try talking to him?"

"Why are you suddenly so concerned anyway?" Lily asked grumpily, knowing that Remus was right. "Don't you have your own dating issues to worry about?"

"That's exactly why I am concerned. I am about to go out on my first date in months with someone I _really_ fancy. I am happy, for a change, and I just want the same for my friends. My friends being you and James. So go sort it already. Then we can double date," he grinned.

Lily couldn't help but smile a little at Remus' optimism - he seemed so much happier than he had been at school.

"Okay, fine. I know you're right. I know I would normally be mad and go sort it. I guess I've just been scared about what the outcome will be. You know we're not stuck at school anymore - James might've found someone better and more interesting to have an insane crush on."

"That is a stupid thing to say," Remus said kindly, taking one of Lily's hands in his. "James would be an absolute idiot to let you go. And, as his best friend, I am one hundred percent certain that he would never leave you for someone else, no matter how interesting they may be."

Lily threw herself into Remus' arms as tears started to leak out of her eyes very much against her will. Remus, in his newfound role as comforter and inspirational speaker, simply hugged her back whilst briefly wondering if Lily was too young for a mid-life crisis. Lily pulled back, sheepishly wiping her eyes before casting a drying spell on the front of Remus' crisp grey shirt.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"Anytime," Remus replied.

"I'd better let you find Laura so you can have that all important first date, then."

"You'd better go find James and have a good long talk," he corrected. "Trust me, it'll help."

"Thanks, Remus. And, hey, good luck!" she smiled, before walking to the intern office to sign off for the day.

Remus turned and looked back around the reception area, scanning it for the willowy blonde he was to take to dinner. He patiently took a seat and decided to wait for her to come to him.

"Hi," said a shy voice from behind him, mere seconds after he'd sat down. He sprung to his feet, slightly nervous now that he only had his own fears and worries to focus on.

"Laura," he replied with a smile, "Hi."

She was dressed in a black halter-top, dark blue jeans, modest black boots and a casual red cardigan that made her blonde hair seem brighter and blonder than usual.

"Shall we?" she asked, offering him her arm.

"Of course," he smiled, though his heart felt as though it was in his throat.

"So, where are we going?" she asked as they stepped out through the street entrance into muggle London. "I dressed muggle just in case."

"Good decision because I know a very nice pub just around the corner...ish," Remus smiled, glad he had chosen somewhere nearby for it was a very chilly night.

"I know I said a drink, but do you mind if we get something to eat as well? Only I'm starving and it's been about six hours since my lunch break," Laura asked.

"Honestly, I was hoping you'd say that because this pub does the best chips in London," Remus replied.

"Really? I'm a bit of a chip connoisseur so you'd better be telling the truth, Remus," she grinned.

"Cross my heart," he replied, glancing at her and accidentally catching her eye. It was one of those moments when, if it were a romantic film, the music would swell and there would be a close up on both characters before one of them would bite their lip and the other would say something, breaking the tension. But since this was Remus' life and not a movie, he instead found himself coughing awkwardly and looking away, only to miss Laura's amused smirk at his nervous behaviour, which she found quite endearing.

Five minutes of walking later and the pair arrived at a busy looking pub off a busy main street. The interior was warmly furnished with oak benches and cushy seats, a fireplace was on one side of the room while there was a television showing a muggle football match on the other. Remus led Laura to one of the few empty tables nearer the fireplace than the rowdy football supporters, and the two sat down.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

Right, so Remus has convinced me to talk to James about our... issues. It's funny because I never used to need to be told to have it out with James Potter. Before we started dating, I would jump at an opportunity to snap at him. But since we've gotten together I've just been so happy, there hasn't been any cause to argue.

But Remus was right. I haven't been happy for a while - ever since I went away on holidays, really. I thought that might be the reason we're a bit distant but then James completely stood me up and hasn't spoken to me in weeks.

That's not acceptable.

I'm finally going to get together all that supposed Gryffindor courage and confront him. I don't deserve to be treated like this and if he thinks he can get away with it, he's got another thing coming.

Blood conceited prick! Did he think I would just patiently wait for him to get it together?

Stuff it, I'm going over there right now.

* * *

**James' Occlumency Diary**

I know it's only eight thirty but I'm going to sleep. There's nothing to stay up for. I've eaten, done my preparations for tomorrow's training drill and I have no one to wait up for. Remus is on his first official date with Laura and Sirius is out with Cat on some mad double date. I can't risk going to see Lily, even though it is literally _killing me_ not being able to talk to her about what's going on. I'll bet Voldemort's got his Death Eaters keeping an eye on the flat to make sure I don't do anything stupid. It makes me feel uneasy (well, that's obviously an understatement) but what can I do? I can't tell Lily, I can't tell my friends and I really have no way of getting out of this that I can think of. I mean, I could tell Dumbledore what happened but what if he can't think of something right away and Lily gets killed because I wasn't clever enough to keep this to myself?

It's not worth the risk.

Thank Merlin Lily hasn't come around asking questions. I don't know if I could lie straight to her face but she'd be too stubborn if I told the truth. She would insist there's a way around it. But there isn't!

If only we'd kept our heads down in the first place and not drawn attention to ourselves. I knew after that attack in Hogsmeade that we'd pissed Voldemort off but we're just kids, how was I to know he'd hold a grudge? Serves me right. I knew my arrogance would come back to bite me in the arse some day. Lily always said it would.

Wait. What the hell is that?

* * *

"JAMES! Are you in there?" Lily shouted as she banged loudly on the Marauders' front door.

"Oh, crap," James muttered, throwing his diary and the letter he had been obsessing over under the couch.

_What do I do? I have to let her in, what if they're watching the house? How do I get her to leave me alone? Do I have to break her heart?_

"Seriously? You stand me up and then I don't hear from you in two weeks and now you're not letting me in?" Lily yelled at the stubbornly shut door.

_Crap, crap, crap!_

"_Reducto!_" Lily yelled, blasting the door off its hinges.

"Shit, Lily, what are you doing?" James shouted, immediately repairing the door with a wave of his wand, secretly glad that Lily seemed to be so upset. Hopefully it would make things easier.

"What the hell have you been playing at, Potter? I mean, I understand that you're busy. We all are. But that doesn't mean you can just stand me up with barely a note as an explanation. And why haven't you replied to the owls I sent you? Seriously?" she said in a raised voice, letting her emotions control what she was saying.

_Good, she called me Potter - she's mad. This should be easy._

"Listen, Lily, I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry because I know you aren't," she said heatedly.

James sighed and frustratedly ran his hand through his hair. Lily couldn't help but notice that he didn't seem happy to see her. In fact, he looked almost worried.

_Good. He should be worried_, Lily thought vindictively.

"I don't know what to say," James said pathetically.

"You could start by telling me why you stood me up," Lily said.

"I told you, I got held up at work."

"Liar! Cat told me you lot all went to the pub after training and got absolutely sloshed."

"I did-"

"I was just sat there, pathetically, waiting for you for hours. I made so much food we had leftovers for a week," she said, feeling her eyes start to prickle with angry tears. No, she had made it this far. She would not cry!

James thought he felt his heart breaking a little bit as he looked at the girl he loved. But he thought better of explaining the reason why he'd been avoiding her. Lily would argue that there was a way around Voldemort's threats. Lily always argued.

And so James stayed silent.

"And what about the last two weeks?" Lily persisted. "Not an owl, not a word. James, what's wrong?"

"Do you know how much pressure I'm under to do well in auror training? Do you know how much time and effort and energy I pour into that, Lily? Do you have any clue what it's like to have your father's reputation to live up to?"

"I'm muggleborn, remember?" she replied acerbically.

"Exactly."

Lily looked at him as though he'd slapped her in the face.

"I _beg_ your pardon?" she said slowly.

"You don't understand."

"So you keep saying. So explain."

"There are expectations I have to live up to. I don't have time anymore for... Childish crushes."

"Well," Lily said, now blinking back tears, "Thank you for explaining so thoroughly. Good luck with work, Potter." She turned and walked stiffly out of the flat, not even bothering to slam the door behind her. James felt a sick combination of relief that at least Voldemort would back off of Lily and disgust at what he had said to Lily. That, and he was heartbroken.

He needed a drink.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley, Cat and Sirius were sitting around a slightly grimy table for four, casually chatting and drinking their butterbeers.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, I don't hate the bloke but I've never been overly fond of him," Sirius said, pushing his Butterbeer bottle around the table with his wand.

"Suck it up, Caradoc's a good guy," Cat argued.

"Should I be jealous, Jones?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Well, let's see. He's ruggedly good looking, plays for a well-rated quidditch team and got some of the top marks in our year..."

"He's also dating your best friend," Sirius asserted.

"Ah, well that's too bad. Guess I'll just have to put up with you for a bit longer then," she grinned, pecking him on the cheek.

"They're taking their time, though. I'm starving!"

"You're always starving, Sirius, it doesn't count," Cat chuckled.

Sirius just rolled his eyes and muttered something about neglectful girlfriends.

Luckily for his attention-seeking stomach, the pair didn't have to wait much longer to order because Anna and Caradoc entered the dingy pub and made their way over to the others' table. The niceties of greetings were exchanged and the couples ordered their meals, making small talk about quidditch and the weather until they'd eaten and could think straight again (well, until Sirius could think straight again, as he can only do with a full stomach).

"So, how's auror training going, then?" Caradoc asked them.

"Oh, tough but fair. I'm exhausted half the time but it's such a rush, especially the duelling," Cat enthused.

"We've got practical training tomorrow so we're splitting into groups and our mentors are simulating an attack for us," Sirius added before taking a swig of his Butterbeer.

"That sounds intense," Caradoc commented. "I sort of wish I'd chosen being an auror as my career. Quidditch is exciting and all, but there's nothing like a good duel."

"There's always the you-know-what," Sirius said, leaning forward conspiratorially.

"The O-r-d-e-r?" Anna spelled out in confusion, only to be met with violent shushing from her companions.

"I'm pretty sure the enemy can spell, Anna," Cat said, shaking her head.

"Sorry, not all of us can be clever aurors," she snapped, narrowing her eyes. Caradoc subtly put his arm around her shoulders as a part of his boyfriend duties.

"Why don't you tell us about your work, hun?" he said. Luckily they were too busy looking each other in the eyes to notice Cat and Sirius' synchronised eye-roll at the pet name.

"There's not much to tell," Anna sighed. "The job's a breeze and the boys, my fellow workers, are lovely. But it's dull. The best parts of my day are my breaks when I go looking for newsworthy stories to add to my folio. So far I have an exposé on quidditch match rigging in the junior leagues and a profile piece on Healer Addison from St Mungo's because she's just been awarded the Order of Merlin Second Class. But that's nothing particularly interesting. I want to get into the stuff about You-Know-Who," she said without pausing for breath.

"Sounds pretty impressive to me," Sirius said with a smile.

"Have you written to the _Prophet_ yet?" Cat asked.

"No, I need one more story and then I'll write to them. Probably next week," Anna said. "Then I can get stuck into some investigative journalism!"

"Don't dig too deep," Caradoc said with a frown. "You remember what I told you about that wizard from Belgium?"

"What wizard from Belgium?" Sirius asked. Caradoc leaned forward with a sly look over his shoulder for eavesdroppers.

"Apparently, there was a wizard in Belgium who was doing a story on the underground potion scene-"

"Underground potions?" Cat asked.

"Buying and selling of dangerous and even illegal potions, like the ones that give you good dreams but have a side-effect of delusional and erratic behaviour?" Caradoc replied. "Anyway, I heard that apparently some of the traders have links to the Death Eaters here in Britain and last week the reporter went missing. Hasn't been seen since."

"How do you know this?" Sirius asked.

"One of the assistant coaches for Portree, it was their cousin's friend's neighbour who went missing. Apparently the Belgian Ministry aren't doing anything about it. It's been hushed up over there which is why it hasn't been reported here."

"How come I haven't heard about this before?" Anna frowned.

"Because I don't want you getting the wrong idea - I don't want you chasing a story that could get you killed."

"Psh, like anyone would think to hurt me!" Anna said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"Caradoc's right, Anna, leave it be," Cat said frowningly. "Let the authorities take care of it."

"But it'd be such a good story," Anna pouted.

"Worth your life?" Sirius asked.

"You guys are training for the most dangerous profession there is. It's not like you can pass judgement," Anna huffed. Caradoc was just about to change the subject when there was a loud popping noise, not unlike that of a wizard apparating, and a bit of parchment appeared on the table before them.

_Cat and Anna, _

_I know you guys are on a double date. Sorry. _

_James and I just broke up. Thought you should know._

_Lily_

"WHAT?" Anna, Cat and Sirius chorused.

"What in the name of Merlin has he done now?" Sirius ran a hand through his hair in a very James-like manner.

"I know he's your best friend, Black, but how dare he!" Anna cried.

"Hey! We don't know that he broke up with her," Sirius said, defending his absent friend.

"Lily's been moping around the flat all week, it must have been James' fault," Cat argued.

"So has James!" Sirius cried.

"Guys, maybe you should go and find out what happened?" Caradoc suggested. "Just a thought."

"Good thinking," Cat said, shooting Sirius a glare.

"Are you sure you don't mind, sweetie? She's my best friend," Anna pleaded, again missing the eye-rolling behind her.

"Yeah, go, of course. I'll get this," he gestured at their dinner. "See you tomorrow night."

There was a brief kiss, then Anna left with Cat following shortly after pointedly refusing to kiss Sirius goodbye.

_

* * *

_In muggle London, Remus and Laura's date had gone from strength to strength. After discussing the pros and cons of integrating with muggle society they had finished their main courses and were enjoying a nice bottle of red wine_. _

"I'm surprised. Not many wizards agree that the muggle world is just as interesting and as much fun as the wizarding one."

"Well, considering that they have television, Shakespeare, football and no real prejudice against werewolves, I sort of like it better," Remus replied with a half smile.

"You shouldn't go on all the time about your problem, Remus. You're no different from anyone else," Laura admonished, finishing her glass in one dainty gulp. After a contemplative pause, she continued.

"Well, you are different. You're much more polite than most people. And well versed in muggle literature. And, you know, quite good looking. You're really rather a catch," she grinned, taking in Remus' blushing face with delight.

"You're exaggerating but thank you anyway. If it's any consolation, you are, by far, one of the most intelligent women I've ever met. And kind and a bit charming," Remus replied, looking into his glass as he was still sporting flaming red cheeks.

"Why, Remus Lupin, I do believe you're sweet talking me," Laura chuckled.

"And I believe you were flirting with me first," Remus looked up at her. "I rather enjoyed it."

"I think you'll enjoy it when I kiss you then," Laura said quietly, leaning across the table and locking lips with the handsome werewolf. He couldn't help but notice the taste of wine that lingered on her lips, or the way some of her hair fell forward and tickled his face. Without thinking about it, Remus' hand moved to gently rest on Laura's cheek and angle their faces so as to deepen the kiss. When they needed oxygen and pulled away, both had their eyes closed for a moment longer than necessary. Remus was the first one to open his eyes.

"Wow," he exhaled. Laura opened her eyes, looking at him with a blush on her cheeks, and biting her lip unconsciously. Remus was sure that beyond the happiness and embarrassment, he could see a glimmer of lust in her eyes and he had to admit that he wasn't exactly thinking pure thoughts at the moment.

"Do you want to go...?" she trailed off, a cheeky grin creeping onto her face as though she could read Remus' thoughts.

Remus just nodded, a shy smile lifting up the corners of his mouth. They stood up, Remus taking Laura's hand in his, and walked out of the pub towards an alley for apparition.

* * *

Lily was sitting numbly on the couch in the girls' apartment when Cat and Anna burst through the door. She was staring blankly at a spot on the wall, back ramrod straight, her wand abandoned on the coffee table.

"What happened?" Anna asked, kneeling before Lily anxiously.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked, sitting down next to the redhead.

Lily shook her head slightly before bursting into tears. Cat and Anna exchanged a confused and worried glance as their usually stubbornly strong friend completely broke down before their eyes.

* * *

James wasn't doing much better. As soon as Lily had left the flat, he had turned the place upside-down in search of the hard liquor. He had downed an entire tankard of mulled mead and half a bottle of elf made wine by the time Sirius walked through the door.

"Prongs, mate?" Sirius called out in trepidation. He was immediately concerned when he saw the state of their hallway. A vase had been upended, staining the carpet with old water; the table it had been resting on had also been knocked over and a photo-frame was lying smashed on the floor.

Sirius bent down to pick it up and recognised it as he frame the girls had given them as a flat-warming gift. The startled faces of he and his friends stared up at him from the photo - Sirius began to seriously worry.

James rarely got angry and Sirius had only seen him physically violent twice - once at a quidditch match defending his friends, and once towards some Slytherins who had been blatantly rude to Lily.

Lily. She was the reason James was so upset. What was going on?

"You here? Sirius called a little louder, stepping around the puddle in the hall.

"Heeere," came the slurred reply. Ah, James was in the kitchen.

Sirius walked in to see his mate slumped over the kitchen table, a bottle of Firewhiskey in one hand and a slightly crumpled photo of he and Lily in the other. Sirius noted awkwardly that James' face was blotchy and stained with tears.

_Oh, bollocks! Emotional distress! I hate this stuff - where's Remus when you need him"_

"You alright, mate?" Sirius asked, grabbing a bottle for himself and sitting down across from his friend.

"Seven years," James said, staring at the photo.

"What?"

"Seven years I've loved her."

Sirius frowned, "What happened?"

"We broke up. We're done," James slurred, still staring down.

"What did you do? Why'd she drop you?" Sirius asked, beyond confused.

"She didn't. I did," James choked out.

"WHAT? Why? What _happened_?" Sirius asked incredulously.

James didn't answer, he just started sobbing big, drunken, unmanly tears. Sirius ran through his head what had happened over the past few weeks that may've caused James' madness. Granted, he hadn't had time for anything outside of training but when he thought about it he realised that he hadn't seen Lily around in ages.

As he knew he wasn't going to get a single sensible word out of James until morning, Sirius decided to get his pathetic friend into bed. After all, they did have an intense training drill scheduled for the next day. Glad that James now seemed less angry and more depressed (not that either were ideal), Sirius pulled him to his feet and tried to drag him to his bedroom. Unfortunately, James' dead weight meant that they only made it to the living room, so Sirius decided to dump his friend on the couch and let him sleep off the alcohol. James was out cold as soon as his head hit the pillow (well, armrest) and dropped his empty bottle on the ground. As Sirius bent down to retrieve it, he noticed a piece of parchment under the couch.

_That's odd_, Sirius thought._ I wonder if that's that note Cat and I found Prongs with the other day_.

Of course, when he read it suddenly things began to make sense. Sirius looked at his friend with pity, realising exactly why James had done what he had.

_Poor Lily!_

Sirius knew instinctively that he couldn't tell anyone, not even Cat or Remus, so he took the letter and placed it under the mattress of his bed. He would discuss this with James after a hangover potion in the morning. But, sadly, he couldn't see a way out of the situation. It looked like James and Lily really were through.

* * *

**AN** - Well, there you have it. Don't hate on me for breaking up the golden couple. They needed some drama and besides, we all know what happens in the end. As for the other characters, who knows what'll happen to them.

I'd really appreciate it if you took the time to review - I noticed I only got about 7 reviews for the last chapter and I realise that it's probably because it took me so long to update, but the more feedback I get, the better and quicker the chapters will be. If you have time, let me know what you think about Laura and her thing with Remus. What do you think Sirius should do? What's going on with Peter.

And five points to whoever can spot the Harry Potter 3 film quote.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for updates. Oh, and REVIEW if you have a moment. HAPPY FANFICCING :)


	6. Carrying On

**Disclaimer: **I do not, nor have I ever, owned Harry or his lovely parents. Unless I get my hands on a TARDIS in which case, you never know what I might go back in time and steal... (it's like 2.30am, stop judging me for my weirdness!)

**AN** - It's been a while but it's all good coz now I'm on HOLIDAYS so that means MORE FANFICTION! WOO! So tuck in and enjoy. I don't particularly like Lily in this chapter because she is overly emotional, but I would be too if James had broken up with me. Poor Lily. But, needs must for a plot. sorry!

Last time - Lily was having a breakdown over her and James growing apart. Remus told Lily to talk to James who then officially dumped Lily because of Voldemort's threat, Sirius is the only one who knows why James did it. Remus went on his first official date with Laura the healer, while Cat and Sirius doubled with Anna and Caradoc, who aren't having any relationship issues. Peter remains boring and unnecessary.

ENJOY :D

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Carrying On**

Waking up the next day was not a pleasant experience for James. To add to his pounding head and churning stomach, he had the knowledge that he no longer had Lily's love - this was most certainly the worst part. On top of that, he knew he had a very important auror training drill today, one that would require his full attention, and he just knew that it was going to be a disaster.

He tried to stand and promptly vomited all over the couch, not even knowing where his wand was to conjure a bucket.

"Nice," Sirius commented with a wrinkled nose as he walked into the room.

"Eurgh," James groaned, feeling the ground spin beneath his feet. Sirius quickly cleaned the couch with his wand and conjured a bucket for James to be violently sick into. When James had finished emptying the contents of his stomach, his friend handed him a bright green hangover potion then went to the kitchen and began to prepare a big bacon and eggs breakfast.

"You know we've got that drill today, right?" Sirius called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," James replied, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"So, you want to talk about it?" Sirius asked, sort of hoping that James would say no.

"No," he replied flatly.

Of course, Sirius also knew that James _should _talk about it.

"I read the letter, you know?" he said with a frown. James whipped his head around to look at him.

"What?" he croaked.

"The one from Voldemort. I know that's why you broke up with Lily," Sirius said. James didn't say anything, just pushed past him into the kitchen. "Mate, you can't just ditch her because of one letter. You're letting him win."

"He already has won, Sirius," James bit back angrily. "Me and Lils are done. Finished."

"But you're in love with her!"

"I KNOW!" James shouted, slamming the potion bottle down on the kitchen bench and shattering it into pieces. "I know," he repeated. "But what can I do? If I don't break her heart, she dies."

"If she knew why-"

"She can't know why. She'd argue. She always argues."

"Well, maybe she's right to. There has to be a way around this," Sirius insisted.

"Trust me, there's not. I would've thought of it," James said bitterly.

"So, what? You're just going to live the rest of your life in misery?" Sirius asked. "Come on, be realistic."

Sirius decided to change his approach. Clearly, James wasn't prepared to risk Lily's life. _Fair enough_, Sirius thought. _What we need, then, is a plan._

"Well it's not like I'm going to get with anyone else, is it? Not while I'm in love with Lily," James said sadly.

"Don't you think Lily will be suspicious? I mean, you just broke up with her out of the blue and you're not even going to date again. She'll work it out, Prongs. Just tell her the truth."

"Would you risk it? If it was Cat and not Lily? Would you?" James asked. Sirius looked away, chewing the inside of his cheek as he did when he didn't want to speak.

"No, you wouldn't because you love her. Can't you see that I'm doing the exact same thing that you would?"

"But she will get suspicious. After the shock wears off, she'll start to wonder why. Then she'll come barging in here, like only Lily can, and she'll start asking questions. Then what if Voldemort kills her anyway? You will have hurt her for nothing!"

"What are you trying to say, Sirius? Are you telling me I should get back into dating to hurt Lily _even more_?"

"I'm just saying that until we find a way out of this, you need to keep Lily as far away as possible."

"I think I made sure of that last night. Do you know what I said? I basically said to her that because she was muggle born she didn't understand the pressures of my life and living up to my father's reputation."

"Oooh," Sirius winced.

"Exactly. I think I've done enough," James said glumly, sitting down to poke at his eggs with a fork.

"But you haven't," Sirius insisted. "I don't want to say this, mate, but your girlfriend is one persistent bird. You said yourself, she always argues. So you have to be convincing."

"Okay, I get what you're saying but I don't want to," James moped.

"You've come this far," Sirius pointed out logically.

"So what do I do?" James asked in a resigned voice.

"I don't know. We'll work it out. And later I'll go see Dumbledore and let him know about the letter," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair in a very James-like way.

"You can't!" James said in distress. "If You-Know-Who finds out-"

"But he won't. That's why _I'll_ speak to Dumbledore. You just keep your head down and try to make this break-up as realistic as possible."

"Sirius, it is realistic. We _have_ broken up."

"For now. Listen, when Lily finds out - _after_ we have a plan - she will understand and everything will go back to the way it was. Trust your instincts. And trust me," Sirius said bracingly. James managed a small smile - it felt good to finally share his secret with someone. And Sirius was the only person he would have told.

"Thanks, mate. Really," James said.

"Any time," Sirius replied. "Now hurry up or we're going to fail this test!"

* * *

Over at the girls' flat the morning had started out much the same. Lily had awoke, on the couch, with a pounding head and a churning stomach (although she hadn't had anything to drink the night before). Cat was the one to wake her, bringing a cup of steaming tea in Lily's favourite mug.

"Come on, time to get up," she said with a concerned smile, offering her friend the pick me up. Anna followed her into the room, looking less awake than usual.

"I put some brandy in there to cheer you up," she said with an attempt at lightheartedness. It didn't work.

"Thanks, guys, but I'm not going into work today. I'm just going to go back to sleep," she said, turning over to face away from them.

"Sweetie, you can't let a boy stop you from living your life," Anna said softly.

"I can do what I like," Lily's voice said from underneath a pillow.

Anna and Cat looked at each other, then Cat shrugged as if to say 'well, what else can we do?'.

"Okay, well I have to go to training," Cat said. The word training reminded Lily with a painful jolt of the boyfriend she no longer had. "I'll see you two tonight." And she apparated out of the apartment with a loud pop.

"I can easily stay at home today," Anna said. "Do you want company, Lils?"

Just that nickname made Lily's stomach convulse painfully.

"Don't stay home on my account," she said. "I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" Anna asked. When she didn't get a reply, she sighed heavily before leaving the apartment as Cat had done seconds before, leaving Lily all to herself.

_Good,_ Lily thought, _Now I can get used to what being alone feels like_. She was feeling more than a bit sorry for herself.

After lying on the couch for a good three hours, then getting up to use the toilet, then distracting herself with an hour of bad daytime television, Lily found her thoughts wandering exactly where she didn't want them to go. To thoughts of James.

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

Can you be numb but also be in excruciating pain? Short answer: yes.

I knew things hadn't been the same between us since Hogwarts, but I didn't think they'd changed that much. I honestly can't believe it. How?

He said that he loved me. He spent years chasing me. He said he'd never let me go.

He lied.

And it _hurts_.

* * *

"For this training drill I will be dividing you up into pairs but it is a team effort. The other mentor groups will be doing the same task and it is a challenge to see who can complete the course fastest," Gideon explained to his group. They were gathered in his office before the commencement of their assessment.

"As you know, this contributes to your overall mark. Remember that your overall mark will determine your ranking within the auror office. Those who are ranked highest at the end of the course have first choice when it comes to rookie assignments and partnerships, although we get the final say on that," he smirked.

James was hardly paying attention. He knew the drill - training courses contributed marks, high marks made life after the course easier, but he really didn't care. He wasn't even really listening when Gid paired him up with Leo, leaving Sirius with Jazz and Cat with Lou. He did tune in, however, when they were being led to the area where their assessment was to take place.

The group were floo-ed one by one to what was (from the outside) an abandoned warehouse. However, the inside had been transformed to be an exact replica of Hogsmeade's main street.

"In a minute, a large number of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, also known as hit-wizards, will simulate a Death Eater attack on this village. Your mission is to get all the 'muggles' to safety and to secure the Death Eaters for transport to Azkaban," Gideon explained. "As this is part of your combat and duelling skills component for training, that is what you will be assessed on although it is very important to focus on those that you are rescuing as much as those you are arresting."

"Why am I getting such a strong sense of déja-vu here?" Sirius muttered to Cat, who frowned slightly.

"As I was saying," Gideon interrupted with a pointed look at the couple. "This is more than a drill, this is going to show us how you act under pressure. You've only been training for, what, a month and a half? So we don't expect your duelling skills to be at the same standard as a fully qualified auror, but your basic instincts and the way you react to surprise attacks will give us an indication as to the sort of aurors you will become."

"Why are we in pairs if this is a team effort?" Jazz asked.

"Because whenever you go out into the field you will always be with your partner - it's your job to cover his or her back and vice-versa. You will be with Black, Cat with Louise and James with Leo. Now off you go," he said merrily. "And expect the unexpected."

"I think he takes pleasure in making us squirm," Leo muttered to James as the pair walked off towards the imitation Three Broomsticks.

"Well, if this is supposed to be like real life, we may as well get a drink," James suggested, going over to the pretend barmaid and vaguely wondering how much effort had gone into setting this whole operation up.

"Do you really reckon it's a good idea to be on the grog when we're being assessed?" Leo asked, raising an eyebrow at James.

James sighed heavily. "Butterbeer can't hurt, though, right?"

"Rough night?"

"Beyond rough," James replied as they sat down at a small booth.

"Let's hear it, then," Leo said when James paused. "Come on, it's not like we can just sit here waiting for something to happen - I hate that feeling."

"I broke up with my girlfriend," James said frowningly, taking a gulp of his Butterbeer. "Mm, at least the Butterbeer's not fake," he noted dully.

"Ouch, sorry mate," Leo said. "Who dropped whom?"

"Mutual thing," James muttered. Leo just nodded in understanding.

While the boys had their very stilted version of a heart-to-heart, Sirius and Jasmine were wandering the main street disinterestedly.

"Ugh, I hate this bit, don't you? Waiting's always the worst," Jazz said.

"Anticipation's bad, I guess. But at least we know something's coming," Sirius replied. "We won't have that advantage in real life."

"You been in attacks before, haven't you?" Jazz asked, tucking flyaway bits of her caramel coloured hair behind her ears as they walked.

"Mm," Sirius nodded, looking over his shoulder cautiously. "We were all in Hogsmeade when the Death Eaters attacked in January this year. Lily and James were on their first date and were right in the thick of it. I think the rest of us were on our way or on the outskirts of the village when we saw everything absolutely go to shit. I managed to duel a few Death Eaters before we were forced to leave by teachers. Lily and James, though, they got caught up. Face to face with You-Know-Who and everything."

"Seriously!" Jazz asked, eyes wide.

"Yep. James gave him a verbal lashing; it's no wonder they're on his specialised hit list now," he added darkly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing really."

"So Lily and James are close, then?"

Sirius shot her a curious look.

"I'm just trying to get an idea of who you lot really are," she explained.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but continued as a plan formed in his head.

"They were, but they broke up yesterday. They're both pretty cut up over it," he explained.

"Wow. From the way you were talking about them it sounded like they're meant to be," Jazz said in surprise.

"Well, we all thought so. But apparently not. Prongs was the one who dropped her - something about how she never came to see him anymore," Sirius invented.

"Hmm," was all the response he got from the leggy girl.

_Prongs is going to hate me for this_, Sirius thought, _but if it keeps Lily safe then he will forgive me. I reckon Jazz is already thinking about asking him out... Hell, he's a fit bloke. If I weren't very, VERY straight and didn't think of him as a brother, I would probably find him attractive... Disturbing train of thought. But I've planted the seed. If Lily needs convincing to stay away, James needs a girlfriend. And if James needs a believable girlfriend, who better than a hot bird he already spends all day with?  
_

* * *

Remus woke up that morning with a terrible pain in his neck to find himself partially clothed, lying on an unfamiliar bed with his arm around someone very warm and blonde.

_Uh oh_, he thought, _What have I done? _

Laura must have sensed that he was awake because she shifted in his arms so that she could look at his face. Remus was more than a bit relieved to find she was wearing pyjamas.

"Good morning," she smiled, tracing a hand gently across his bare chest.

"Err, morning?" he replied, feeling as though he had swallowed a cage of cornish pixies who were now trying to claw their way out through his chest. Altogether, not an entirely pleasant feeling.

Laura tried not to chuckle at Remus' nervous expression. Instead she lowered her gaze, eyes lingering on his naked chest, before moving lower.

"And good morning," she said with a grin.

_Damn to hell the male anatomy! _Remus' inner voice yelled, as his face turned utterly red in embarrassment.

"Sorry!" he squeaked, "I'll just, err, fetch my shirt-"

"Don't worry about it Remus, it's perfectly natural," Laura continued to smile. "Besides, at least you're still wearing your trousers."

"Yeah, fair point, I suppose," Remus conceded, sitting up all the same so as to best conceal his... eagerness. "Listen, we didn't... Did we?"

"No, of course not," Laura said, hitting Remus on the arm playfully. "First date, Rem, don't get ahead of yourself."

Remus allowed himself a small laugh. "Yeah, good point. Explains why I'm still wearing pants."

"Also, last night, you said that you were a... you know? You haven't... before," Laura said carefully. Remus didn't quite know how to respond to that statement so he just sort of scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and raised his eyebrows. "And that's fine, you know? You're a bit younger than me, after all," Laura hastened to add.

"You're right, though. The first date would've been rushing things," Remus said, "I do remember last night, I'm just sometimes a bit fuzzy on details in the morning."

"Well I'm a morning person, so there you go, we balance out," Laura smiled shyly. "And, if it's not presumptuous of me to say so, just because we aren't going to have sex on the first date, doesn't mean we can't do other things..." she trailed off, letting her eyes wander to Remus' lap and then back to his adorably shell-shocked face. Remus found himself gaping slightly like a goldfish and was struggling to find something intelligent or witty to say in response. But then Laura was kissing him, quite vigorously, and he found he didn't much mind.

* * *

Cat and Lou, like the others, were wandering down the street. They were, of course, obscured from sight by the fake snow that had begun to fall.

"Why does it have to be so cold as well?" Cat muttered, keeping her wand at the ready.

"Ah, you english, always complaining about the weather even though you should be used to it by now," Lou joked, walking slightly ahead of Cat (who rolled her eyes).

"So, you're french, right? Why come here to train? Isn't there someone back home you're attached to?" Cat asked, wanting to know more about her colleague.

"Your ministry has the best training program and this is where the fight begins, is it not? With the Dark Lord and all that?"

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"And yes, I did have someone back home but I haven't heard from her since I chose to come here. She, well... She didn't want me to go."

"What's her name?"

"Chloe," Louise said with a half smile. "I take it you are with Sirius?"

"Yep, it'll be a year this Halloween," Cat smiled. "We were thinking of-"

BANG

"Oh, here we go," she said, looking left to see a building burst into flames.

"_Deprimo_," Lou shouted, sending a gust of wind down the fog-shrouded street. The mist cleared, and they could see Sirius and Jazz running towards them. James and Leo, who had heard the loud bang, tore out of the pub and raced towards them.

"Okay, we've got at least two of them up that way," James yelled, pointing back behind him, "And it looks like there must be a few over there," he pointed towards the burning building.

"First priority, get civilians to safety," Sirius said. "Round up any Death Eaters if they get in your way, but Jazz and I will tackle them up the road head on, James, Leo, you should take the ones back where you came from."

"And, what? We evacuate?" Cat looked disgruntled.

"Let's just do this," Lou said. "You take this side, I'll go over there."

"Oh, no. Gotta stick together, now move!" Jazz said, racing off with Sirius.

James saw one of the dark-hooded men, wand raised, about to blast chunks off another building.

"_Stupefy!_" he shouted, only to have his stunner blocked. "Oh, crap," he muttered, as the 'Death Eater' turned around and turned out to be Gideon.

"Don't think I'll go easy on you, Potter," Gideon grinned, shooting a purple spell at James, who deflected it but not without difficulty.

"I thought there were supposed to be hit-wizards here," James puffed, in between spells.

"Short staffed, _Confringo!_"

James had to dive out of the way as a bit of the building behind him exploded.

"_Petrificus totalus_!" Leo yelled, coming out of nowhere and body-binding Gideon.

"That's team work. Don't forget the bonus points for us," Leo said, before turning to duel a hit-wizard around the side of the partially-demolished building as James set about securing his irritating instructor.

"And we've made sure you're secure. That's more bonus points," he said cockily. Gid just rolled his eyes.

Up the road, the others were having mixed success.

"_Portus_," Cat pointed at the bit of door that had flown off the building. "Okay, get over here, quick!" she shouted at the fake hostages, cowering behind another corner. "This'll take you to safety. Go!"

"_Protego!_" Lou yelled, protecting the group from a barrage of nasty spells that two hit-wizards were firing at the group. "VITE!"

"Right, I'm just going to check inside for stragglers. You good?" Cat yelled.

"Oui!"

Cat was barely halfway up the stairs when she was struck in the back with the most painful spell. She cried out, slipping, before tumbling all the way down the stairs to lie in a motionless heap. Her dueller was standing over her, wand raised, but she blacked out before anything else could happen.

Sirius, meanwhile, was duelling fiercely with three hit-wizards at once, while Jazz was able to manage one.

"_Stupefy_," she yelled, miraculously catching her assailant off guard. She hastened to secure his capture, before turning to help her partner. Sirius was known for his fierce duelling talent. He, James and Remus had been top of their Defence class at Hogwarts but, thanks to his upbringing, Sirius knew a handful of dark spells that he would never use unless the situation was dire. Jazz would've felt quite happy to let him continue his three-on-one contest but it really wouldn't be fair and nor would it look good on her record. She was not the strongest dueller and mostly relied on luck and the natural effects of attrition to beat the enemy. Her stunning spell bounced of her enemy's shield back towards her. Hastily, she conjured her own shield so that the spell bounced back to one of Sirius' duellers, hitting him square in the chest.

Then a stunner from Leo caught the guy in the back and Sirius happily finished off the third attacker.

"Done and done," he said with a self satisfied grin.

"Let's do a sweep of the area, to be sure we got everyone out and round up any leftover bad guys," Leo said.

"_Homenum Revelio_," Jazz said, casting her wand in a large circle around her with a look of utter concentration on her face. "Right, aside from us three, there are thirteen people left in the immediate area. We've captured, what, six? Plus there's three more of us, which means there are four people left unaccounted for."

"Neat spellwork," Leo said.

"Thanks," Jazz smiled. "Standard Book of Spells, volume nine."

Sirius smiled to himself. This girl was like a less feisty version of Lily.

James had found Lou and had managed, after a duel that left him with a deep cut in his wand arm, to contain their hit-wizard and had cleared out the remaining shops on the street.

"Where's Cat?" James asked, gripping his arm tightly to staunch the blood flow.

"She went in the Hog's Head to get civilians. She probably is dealing with children. They can be slow," Lou said dismissively.

"I'm going to check it out, you cover the entrance, yeah?"

"Got it," Lou said, healing some of the minor scrapes on her arms.

James pushed open the door tentatively and crept inside. The thick layer of dust that usually covered the floor and steps of the pub had been disturbed and James noted the path through it that went up the stairs. It looked as though something had been dragged up there. He knew that he was going to need assistance and stepped back outside the building as Sirius and the others raced up to them.

"Where've you three been?"

"We've secured that area," Leo said. "Civilians out, 'Death Eaters' contained. There are four people left unaccounted for, though."

"Well, there's one of them," Jazz said, pointing at the unconscious hit-wizard by Lou's feet.

"And the other three?" Sirius asked.

"I think there's one in there," James said, "And I'm pretty sure Cat's in there too, but I can't hear any noise so it can't be good."

"Better go get her, then. Two man job?" Sirius asked and James nodded.

"Lucky nothing terribly bad can happen," Leo commented. No sooner had he said that than the glass from the upstairs window shattered above their heads as if an explosion from inside had blown them out.

"Let's go. You lot wait here and get all the captives together," James yelled running up the stairs.

Smoke was coming from the only closed door on the upper level. "Check the bedrooms," James yelled, shouldering his way into the smoking room. Cat was unconscious on the bed, whose hangings had caught fire. With no regard as to the fact that he was a wizard, James hoisted Cat up over his shoulder in a fireman's lift and carried her out of the room. He went back in to cast an _aguamenti_ spell on the flames, but they didn't seem to be going out. _Oh, crap!_ He thought, _Fiendfyre_.

"_Renervate_!" he said, pointing at Cat's chest. She coughed and spluttered a bit before sitting up.

"Oh, sweet Merlin, that hurts," she moaned.

"Can you walk?" James asked.

"I think so," she replied.

"Good, 'cause that's Fiendfyre and I can't stop it," he said. Cat made her way as fast as she could down the stairs.  
Then James heard another loud bang, coming from the next room across. Sirius was duelling fiercely with two hooded men, his right trouser leg on fire. James joined the fight and they soon had both of their opponents body-bound and levitated/lowered gently out the window. Then the pair legged it out of there before the building could collapse around them.

"Anyone know how to combat Fiendfyre?" James wheezed out, clutching at his arm as his chest ached.

"I think so," Jazz said, and set about muttering spells and doing complicated movements with her wand. Leo and Lou watched on; he with an impressed look on his face, she with a look of complete disinterest.

Sirius was holding Cat tight in his arms. Even though it had only been a training exercise, it still felt as though the threat had been very real and he really and truly cared about the girl.

Five minutes after Jazz had put out the fire and the group were all sitting slumped against the remains of the building, Mad-Eye arrived on the scene and released all the captured 'Death Eaters'. He and the hit wizards apparated back to the Ministry, but Gideon remained for a debriefing.

"Good work team," he said with a grin. "While I don't appreciate being body bound for half an hour, I am going to give you full marks for getting civilians out of harms way. Not one of them sustained an injury so you should give yourselves a pat on the back for that. However, there is room for improvement. You didn't stay in your buddy pairs which left you vulnerable and resulted in quite a few injuries. Also, though you were speedy, you didn't manage to save as many buildings as I would have hoped. But, like I said, it's training and you did a good job where it counts. Now get yourselves back to the Ministry. You've got a quick course in healing before you get to go home and write up your reports. Looks like you need it," he said, eyeing James' blood-soaked sleeve and Sirius' still-smoking pant leg.

* * *

Lily had decided to cover the night shift at St Mungo's that day. After all, she had spent the majority of the day moping and sleeping. In an ideal world, she would've continued to do so until her dying day but she couldn't bear to be alone with her thoughts any longer, and neither did she want to face the pitying looks of her friends when they returned home from work. With these thoughts in mind, Lily ran a brush through her hair, pulled on some clean robes and splashed some cold water on her blotchy face. She looked up at the mirror with a determined resolve. _I will not let this break me_.

Ten minutes later and she had floo-ed to St Mungo's. Coughing and spluttering, Lily stumbled forward, trying to brush ash out of her eyes. _You would think I'd be used to this by now_, she thought irritably.

In her rush she inevitably walked into someone going the other way.

"Oh, sorry! I couldn't see where I was going!" Lily gushed, bending down to pick up the books of her collision victim.

"Hey, it's no problem... Lily?"

Lily looked up to see that the very person she had collided with was her only friend at work, Matt.

"Matt," she said dumbly. "Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." In spite of herself, she felt her eyes prickling uncomfortably with tears.

"That's okay... Lily, are you alright?" he looked down at her with concerned eyes.

Lily nodded, looking away.

"Really? Because, no offence, but you look like crap. No offence!" he added hastily, when Lily tried to glare at him. "So, umm, how come you weren't at work this morning?" he asked, trying to change the subject. There was a moments pause and then Lily promptly burst into tears. Again.

"Woah, shit, sorry!" Matt said frantically, grabbing Lily by the shoulders and steering her into an empty supply cupboard so that they could talk in private.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Lily managed to choke out. "I-it's just tha-at, last n-night-" she broke off into sobbing again and Matt did all he could by hugging her close until her tears seemed to run out.

"Shh, it's okay," he said as comfortingly as possible, rubbing circles on her back like his nan used to do when he was upset. Had they been at home, he probably would have made her a cup of tea, because everyone knows that's what you're meant to do in a crisis.

"What happened last night?" Matt asked after Lily had calmed herself down enough to talk.

"James broke up with me," she said, swiping impatiently under her eyes.

"What? James the perfect boyfriend that I heard so much about? Why?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"He just said a load of bollocks about how I can't understand how much pressure he's under at work because I'm muggle-born. But that's rubbish, because it's never been a problem for us before; in fact, he's always stood up for me whenever anyone's made a slight on my background," she ranted. Matt could see she was getting worked up again and sought to prevent that.

"Did he say anything else?"

Lily took a deep breath. "He said something about how he didn't have time for childish crushes anymore."

"Childish crushes? To be honest, Lily, he doesn't sound like that nice of a bloke," Matt replied.

"You don't know him," Lily said defensively. Matt raised his eyebrows. "I mean... Oh, I don't know. I _thought_ Iknew him, but..."

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it now," he reasoned.

"It's just so sudden. I can't quite believe that it's happened," Lily said with a sigh.

"Maybe you just need time to process things a bit?"

"Or maybe I should just talk to him and straighten everything out?"

"You think you can get back together?" Matt asked.

"Not without a lot of grovelling on his part, but I can't see why not. I mean, childish crushes? Really?" Lily said. Matt ran a hand through his hair - a minute ago she had been bawling her eyes out and now she was determined to make Potter pay? Girls!

"Well, look, it's up to you but I would just give it some time first. Do your shift, see how you feel after you've calmed down, and if you need someone to talk to you know where to find me, okay?"

"Yeah, sure... Thanks," she said, following him out the door. "I'll see you later, yeah?"

"No worries. Good luck, Lils," he said before returning to the fireplace.

The rest of Lily's night passed in a blur of patients and bedpans and she found she didn't really have time to think about you-know-who (the boyfriend, not the evil wizard) which was exactly what she had wanted.

When she returned to the flat, though, all her problems came with her. She tried to sneak inside without waking Cat and Anna but apparently she was not as light-footed as she thought because she had barely taken two steps down the hall when-

"Lily? Is that you?"

Lily frowned. If she was not very much mistaken, that was her mother's voice.

"Mum?"

Meredith Evans' head popped out from around the corner, a look of concern on her kind face. Anna followed Lily's mum out into the hallway, watching the woman embrace her daughter.

"What are you doing here?" were the first words out of Lily's mouth, as her mother steered her into her own lounge room.

"Well that's a lovely way to greet your one and only mother, isn't it?" she said sarcastically. "Anna, could you possibly put the kettle on? I think we need some tea."

"No worries, Mrs Evans," Anna said, retreating to the kitchen.

"Well?" Lily asked, tugging at her ponytail.

"Anna called by this morning. She said you'd spent all day home crying and moping yesterday but that when she got home you were gone and didn't come home all night."

"I had the night shift at the hospital," Lily explained.

"That's all very well and good, sweetheart, but it doesn't explain why you were so upset yesterday," Meredith probed.

"James and I broke up," Lily said shortly, urging herself not to cry.

"Why?" Meredith sounded shocked.

"I don't know, to be honest. He said he didn't have time for 'childish crushes' anymore," Lily said, feeling that awful lump beginning to form in her throat.

"It certainly wasn't a childish crush!" her mother said, outraged. "That boy was in love with you - that was plain enough for anyone to see."

"You're not making me feel better about this, Mum," Lily said.

"But, really, Lily. Did you accept that excuse?"

"At first, yeah. I was just completely shocked, Mum. I have no idea where it's come from. I mean, we were sort of drifting a bit since I got back from Australia but I just assumed it was because we're both busy with study, not because he had lost interest."

"I don't think he has lost interest," Anna interjected, carrying a teapot and three mugs into the room on a tray. "He was head over heels for you, Lily. There has to be something else going on here."

"But why would he break up with me, though?" she asked. "I've gone over and over it and I can work it out!"

"Maybe he just needs some time apart from you, darling?"

"I think you should talk to him, Lils," Anna suggested, "It's the only way you're going to get to the bottom of things."

"The last person who told me to talk to James was Remus and when I did, James dropped me, so you'll understand if I don't necessarily take your advice," Lily said without looking at her friend.

"Lily, you've gone through an entire box of tissues and two blocks of Honeyduke's chocolate in one day, then you took the nightshift, which you swore was the worst form of torture known to witches, voluntarily. I know it's only been a day and everything is still fresh and painful but you need to sort it out before things get worse."

"Is this supposed to be an intervention? Because two blocks of chocolate is not intervention worthy," Lily said with a small smile.

"We're just worried about you," Meredith said. "And I haven't had a chance to see your new place! Anna's just given me the tour."

The rest of the morning was spent catching up, with Lily alternating between trying to forget about James Potter and trying to decide whether or not to talk to him. Ultimately she decided that a discussion wouldn't kill her and so, after a long nanna-nap in the afternoon, went to visit the Marauder's place that night.

* * *

James was attempting spaghetti bolognese in the kitchen while Peter and Sirius questioned Remus relentlessly about his new lady friend.

"Did you do it?"

"Pete!"

"Come on Moons, you can tell us."

"Sirius! What Laura and I did is really none of your business!"

"Ooh, that's a yes!" Sirius crowed delightedly. "And on the first date, Remus you old dog, I've clearly taught you well!"

"For the record we didn't 'do it' but we slept in the same bed, okay? Happy?" Remus conceded, though he couldn't quite master the angry look when he was so content.

"No, I'm not. You slept in the same bed but did nothing?" Sirius said.

"Even I know better than that," Peter said with a wise nod. Remus smiled at his friend, shaking his head slightly, but did not say another word.

James was glad that he was in the kitchen at this point - any talk about romance made him want to vomit.

"And what about you, Padfoot. I hear you and Cat had a very intense 'I'm glad we didn't die in that simulated attack' moment last night," Remus said.

Peter snorted. "Yeah, if by hear you mean heard them going at it like animals, because I'm pretty sure we all heard them. Ever heard of a silencing charm, Padfoot?"

The next thing, Peter was suspended upside-down by his ankle, Remus laughing at him, and Sirius stalking off to chat with James.

"I was talking to Jazz today," he said casually as he sat on the bench next to James' cooking.

"Get your bum away from my food, Pads," James said, waving a wooden spoon at him.

"Anyway," Sirius said from his perch on the far end of the bench, "She was going on about how impressed she was by you yesterday."

"Hmm," James said distractedly.

"Yeah, the way you handled things under pressure and all that. Wouldn't shut up about it," Sirius exaggerated.

"Yeah, that's nice," James said, still not really paying attention.

"She's quite good looking, too," Sirius said. "You know, if I wasn't with Cat-"

"Padfoot, stop it. I know what you're trying to do and the answer's no."

"Come on, she'd be the perfect cover till we work out how to fix this."

"I said no," James said, slamming the lid down on the pasta. "Lily is never going to forgive me for hurting her, she's never going to take me back so there's no point in pretending to have another girlfriend OR in trying to work out what to do next. It's over."

"James, mate. You don't give up on anything. What's the problem, here? Do you honestly think we can't solve this?"

"Yes, that's what I think," James said in exasperation.

"Well it's lucky that you've got me who knows better. But trust me, James, you're going to need a cover because Lily's not going to take things lying down."

"I already told you, she hates me now. She's not going to question my reasons for dumping her," James sighed.

There was a loud knock at the door.

"I expect that'll be Jazz," Sirius said, "I told her to drop by for dinner tonight if she felt like it."

"Sirius, I swear to God, sometimes I want to kill you," James said with a glare.

"Tell me that after she saves your sorry behind," Sirius said, going to answer the door but Remus beat him to it.

"Lily?"

James dropped the spoon on the ground with a loud clatter. Sirius stuck his head back into the kitchen. "Told you so," he said. Lily craned her neck to see the cause of the disturbance.

"May I come in?" she asked.

"Er, sure," Remus said. "How are you?"

"Been better," Lily said. "Is James in?"

"He's in there, Lilyflower, and just so you know even though he is a tosser, we still love you and you're welcome any time," Sirius said, blowing her a kiss and walking into the lounge room. For all his faults, Lily couldn't help but feel a surge of gratitude towards Sirius at that moment. Of course, if she knew that he was trying to set her ex up with Jasmine, she may've felt a little differently.

Steeling herself for the confrontation, she walked quietly into the Marauder's kitchen.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," James replied, not looking up from the sauce he was stirring.

"I just thought we could maybe have a chat?" she asked.

"Yeah, if you like," he replied, still not looking at her.

"James, look at me," she demanded.

He put down the spoon and slowly turned to face her. As he had feared, she was as beautiful as ever, looking at him with hurt and confusion in her green eyes. He cleared his throat and looked down.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I think you know," she said quietly.

"Right," he replied.

"I just... I don't understand, James," she said pleadingly, hating herself for sounding so pathetic but at the same time not caring at all. "I don't get how you can be in love with me one minute and calling me a 'childish crush' the next."

"Lily," James said, looking up at her and Lily was sure she could see pain in his eyes.

"Is there something going on?" she asked. Emboldened by the nervous dart of James eyes to the door and back, she took a step forward and took his hand. "If there's something going on, you can tell me. We can face it together."

James felt like his heart was breaking all over again. If only he could tell her the truth! He willed himself not to tear up, because Lily would notice and then she would know that it was all a lie.

With the most effort he had ever required to do anything, James pulled his hands from Lily's.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I really am," he said, avoiding eye contact. "It's just, I don't think we can be together at the moment."

"But why? Don't say I was just a crush, James Potter, because I know better," she warned.

"I loved you, Lils, I really did. And I still do, in a way."

"In a way?" she echoed, not liking where this conversation was headed.

"I really want us to stay friends," James continued.

"Friends?" Lily repeated, feeling as though the walls were closing in on her and she couldn't quite get enough oxygen.

"Lily, we've grown apart," James said, chancing a glance up at her but no longer able to read her expression. "And I..."

Lily looked at him, biting her lip so that she wouldn't sob.

"I've met someone else."

And there it was, the real reason he was breaking up with her. She nodded and sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

"What's her name?" Lily asked calmly.

"Jasmine... Jazz. We met at work," James said, relieved that Lily seemed to really believe what he was saying.

"And how long have you been.."

"We haven't yet. I wouldn't cheat on you, Lily," he said earnestly, and she looked up, finding she believed him.

"Thank you for being honest, James," she said quietly, looking away so he wouldn't see that she had started crying again.

"Lils, I just..." James said, catching himself before his voice broke and starting again. "I just want you to be happy. And I'm sorry that I can't be the one to make you happy."

"You did, James," she said, turning back to him so he could see that she was crying. "I think I was always scared you'd find someone better. Someone you hadn't had a crush on since first year. And I'm glad it's come now, before we got in too deep," she said.

"We're still friends, though?" James said, a little to quick. Lily shook her head.

"No."

"But I still care!"

"James, we were never just friends," Lily said with a smile. "I think you know that."

James shook his head and stared at his feet. "Maybe one day?"

"Yeah, maybe," Lily said, feeling like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. "Just not right now, okay? I kind of hate you a little at the moment."

"You're not hexing me, though, that's a plus," James attempted a joke. Lily half smiled.

"I'm going to go now," she said. "I hope you and Jazz are very happy together."

Before James could wish her well, she had closed the kitchen door behind her and leant on it heavily, letting herself just sob silently for a moment before she could collect herself. On the other side of the door, James listened to her miserably. Sirius had been right, though. At least now Lily wouldn't think she and James could get back together. At least she would be safe.

"I'll see you lot later," she said to the boys as she left.

"Wait, Lily!" Remus called. "I'll come with you, if you want to talk."

"Thanks Rem, but I'm all talked out," she said with a watery attempt at a smile. "I'll see you later."

She opened the door to let herself out and nearly collided with a very pretty young woman going in.

"Oh, sorry! I was just about to knock," she said.

"It's alright, I was just leaving," Lily said, hoping the girl didn't notice the tears on her cheeks. "Lily Evans," she said, shaking the girls hand.

"Hi, Jasmine Elliot. You a friend of the guys?"

"Yeah, I was," Lily said, shouldering past the girl and running down the stairs.

* * *

**AN** - Sometimes my characters suck. The boys are dumb - Just talk to Dumbledore! And Lily and James - why can't you just get it together? grrr. Don't worry, now that they're apart I have more incentive to write so I can get them back together. Therefore, more frequent updates. This is also because I have just gone on uni holidays for a few weeks YAY! no more icky assignments and study, so stay tuned for more updates.

In the next chapter, Lily deals with James' new 'girlfriend' whom he decides to bring to an Order meeting :O, Laura and Remus get more serious and lovely, we shall see what Peter's been getting up to, plus something interesting with Cat and Sirius is bound to happen, because they're mad.

Thank you for sticking with this story for so long - I really appreciate your support and reviews and whatnot. If you have any suggestions or requests for things to go into this story - for example, you might want to read about sirius dancing naked in front of mad-eye moody (i haven't a clue why you would want to read that...) - but just let me know and i'll see what i can do.

Till next time, faithful readers, HAPPY FANFICCING :D


	7. A Glimmer of Hope

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Harry, I'm just shamelessly using the characters and Potter-verse for my own and others amusement. Enjoy!

**AN - **WOOP! I don't have tonsilitis, I don't think. So here's a chapter! I know everyone hates Lily and James being apart but suck it up because it had to happen :P No, I'm kidding, I don't like it much either but the characters aren't behaving. Fear not! They WILL get back together soon (as we all know they have to get back together) but patience is a virtue young jedi-readers. In the meantime, enjoy the drama. (It's a bits and pieces chapter, just so you know. No action, but it's readable)

Last time: Lily and James broke up for good. That's the important bit.

Enjoy :D

**

* * *

Chapter 6 - A Glimmer of Hope**

_Dear James,_

_It has been too long! I have just completed a mission that I can't tell you anything about, in a place I can't tell you the name of with people you may or may not know. I'm returning to England within the week, I'm just tying up loose ends and whatnot at the moment. _

_I look forward to hearing all about training - it sounds like things are going as they should. It may be tough now, but stick it out, and I know you will be a fantastic auror and a son that I can be proud of. Although, of course, I am already exceedingly proud of you - you've grown into such a responsible young man, as your mother would have said. _

_In reference to your question about your mother and I, no, we didn't go through a particularly bumpy patch, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Lily is a wonderful girl and I'm sure things will settle down as you two get into more of a routine with your new lives. Perseverance seems to be your strong suit, James - you've been in love with her since first year and now you've finally won her heart (blimey, I must be tired if I'm using that sort of language!). Just trust in yourself and trust in Lily - you won't drift apart, you're better than that. _

_Anyway, we can speak about all this when I get back, perhaps over a nice bowl of Tilly's pumpkin soup - the food here has been terrible!_

_Love, Dad_

_

* * *

_

A week had passed since the incident that had become known as 'The Split' and life had continued on in its unpredictable way. The letter from James' father had caused the poor boy a fair amount of upset, reminding him of a time before he and Lily had broken up. Sirius and Cat weren't on good terms, due to their unwavering loyalty to their best friends. The split hadn't caused a great divide but nevertheless sides had been taken, the only fence-sitter being Caradoc. Remus, surprisingly, had taken Lily's side for he could see no reason why James would abruptly ditch the girl he had professed to love for so many years. Consequently, he had been avoiding James' presence and spending more time with Laura. The pair had had dinner together twice that week, and Remus, in spite of his reservations about getting in 'too deep' emotionally, found himself longing to spend more time with Laura.

* * *

**Remus' Occlumency Diary**

There's so much to write about. For once, my life seems to be on the right track and it feels so strange but fantastic. It's bizarre. I think that a lot of it has to do with Laura.

I don't want to rush into things. I don't want to feel too much too soon because then how will I know if it's real or if it's an infatuation? I mean, we've only been dating for a week or so.

But sometimes (and I say sometimes because it's what you hear, not from personal experience) I think you just know when something feels _right_. And this feels right.

She's my match intellectually - she reads Shakespeare!, she heals people for a living - I get ill every month, she is stunning without being obviously so - in spite of my scars, I've been told I have nice arms...

To be honest, I feel like she's superior to me but that doesn't make me feel like I don't deserve her, but rather like I want to be the best I can be to match her...

Christ, I sound sappy! If the other Marauders found this, I'd never live it down.

Speaking of, I cannot believe what James did to Lily! It seems so out of character and yet he is acting as though nothing's wrong. Usually, I wouldn't get involved in this sort of a drama, because I've had enough of them in the past year to last me a lifetime (what with Anna and Claire and all that). But Lily is my friend just as much as James. She has always been there for me when I needed support and so it's my turn to be there for her. James can suck it up, as far as I'm concerned, because he is way out of order!

Lily hasn't really wanted to speak about it. After all, it's only been a week since it happened, and when she left our flat that night she was in tears. But I saw her today and yesterday when I visited Laura for work, and she seemed to be holding everything together okay. Granted, she did look more tired than usual, but I suppose that's bound to happen when you're working somewhere like St Mungo's.

Anyway, I should get going - I have another date with Laura tonight and she doesn't have work in the morning...

* * *

Harry got up from the uncomfortable stone floor, stretching out his back as he thought over what he had read. He was overwhelmed with hatred for Voldemort for having such an interest in his parents' relationship. He couldn't believe that he had torn them apart just because Lily and James were such high-achievers. And he had trouble believing that his dad hadn't tried harder to hold onto his mum. It was disappointing, Harry thought, feeling his insides churn unpleasantly. Wasn't his Dad supposed to be a Gryffindor? It was all very well and good for Remus to have someone - he wasn't being specifically targeted by the Dark Lord. At the rate things were going, Harry was surprised his parents had gotten it together after all. He wished they'd just get it together and be honest because reading about his parents in pain brought him no pleasure at all. He had to keep reading until they got themselves back together or he knew he wouldn't sleep well. With that in mind he lay himself out on his stomach and recommenced his reading, absently wondering how so much of his parents' friends' things had ended up at Godric's Hollow.

* * *

**Cat's Occlumency Diary**

Life sucks, sometimes, you know? I mean, I am exhausted at the moment from training and whatnot, but now I'm fighting with Sirius too, which is not fun, particularly when I have to see him every day at work.

It's not Lily's fault, but she's the reason we're arguing. The way Potter treated her really gets under my skin - I thought I knew him better than that. We grew up together, pretty much, and I just thought he was better than that. We were told not to take sides, but it's a bit hard when the injured party is as good as a sister to me! And I understand why Sirius would take Potter's side - they are brothers in everything but blood - but the fact that Sirius says that it's not Ja-Potter's fault, THAT pisses me off. Whose fault is it, then? No one made him treat Lily so badly.

And I'm sick of arguing with him. It's just small things. Like at training he and Potter and Leo all hang out, but when I make it clear that I'm not talking to Potter (childish, I know) Sirius doesn't make an effort to include me. It's not good for us. And we need to fix it, because I need him right now.

I got a letter from Mum the other day telling me that she and Jake were being moved to another safe house at the end of next week. She didn't write why and I haven't heard anything from Dumbledore about it but I really just want to talk to Sirius about it and I can't. Not while there's this thing between us.

It's also really irritating because I think I've pretty much got the whole animagus thing down pat... I haven't shown anyone but (surprise, surprise) I'm a cat (of sorts - technically, an ocelot). The thing is, I obviously can't see myself when I change so I'm not 100% certain that everything is as it should be. On top of that, I've found that my transformation is largely triggered by emotion. I mean, I can phase when I concentrate really, really hard. But the other day when I was in the bathroom I was really annoyed about something Sirius had said and I was just going over and over it in my head when POOF suddenly I was a bloody cat, wasn't I?

And I can't have that happening to me at work. I'm fairly certain the Ministry wouldn't be impressed that one of its soon-to-be law-enforcers was an illegal animagus. Which is why I need to talk to Sirius about it.

Ah! This is so frustrating!

I'm going to take my broom and apparate somewhere away from the muggles. I need to fly to clear my head, or I might just phase again by accident.

* * *

"But I thought we were going to have lunch together?"

"Sorry, gorgeous, but I really can't. I have a super important meeting with a source."

Anna and Caradoc were standing in the middle of the crowded street in Hogsmeade, arguing over their plans.

"I'm really sorry," Anna said again.

"I was going to skip training for you," Caradoc said, trying to tempt her. "We could've spent the entire afternoon together by that lake..."

"No we couldn't," Anna admonished. "You have a job to do. You're going to be famous one day and then you can take all the lunch breaks you like, but until then..." she removed his hands from around her waist, "You'll just have to wait."

Caradoc sighed heavily. "You're a hard-hearted minx, you are, Brown."

"And you love me for it," she said with a grin, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss her boyfriend on the cheek.

"True," he agreed, going for a kiss on the lips that lasted longer than strictly necessary.

"Now I _really_ have to go," Anna said, "I can't keep him waiting."

"Who's your source?" Caradoc asked suspiciously.

"No one you know," Anna said, pulling away.

"You're not going after that story I told you about, are you?" he said sternly.

"Which story?" Anna asked, blue eyes wide and innocent.

"You know the one I mean - about the illegal potion racketeering and its links to Death Eaters."

"Oh, no, of course not," Anna replied, fingers crossed behind her back. "You're right, that'd be too dangerous. This is just a little puff piece to round out my portfolio."

"Oh, right. Well, good. I want you to stay safe," Caradoc said. "I'll see you tonight, yeah?"

"Sure, see you," Anna said, her smile fading as Caradoc turned to walk away. Steeling herself with a steadying breath, she turned on the spot visualising her destination. Knockturn Alley.

**

* * *

Peter's Occlumency Diary**

Today I thought a lot about the treacle tart that we used to get at Hogwarts. It's a shame we never get dessert at home - Remus is the cook most of the time but he's been away most nights, so it's been take-away. I know he's seeing Laura now and that's good for him, but I feel like we're all drifting apart again. I thought living together would change that, but it hasn't.

Lily and James being broken up is sad. I feel sorry for both of them - Lily because she was always nice to me and James because even though he dumped her he's always gloomy these days. Something's not quite right but I don't know what!

Yesterday some strange men came into work and sent off three large boxes filled with what I reckon were bottles 'cause they made clinking noises. They were probably illegal alcohol or potions or something, who knows! We're supposed to check what people send and make sure it's safe and above-board, but Dana didn't even bother! They just came in and sent the stuff. She was a bit off that day too...

I thought it was a bit weird but I didn't want to say anything to the boss - I'm still new and I need this job to pay the rent and to be able to send Mum some money every other week. It hasn't been easy for her since Dad left and she's all alone in that flat...

Thing is, I didn't recognise the men who came in - there were three of them: one tall with really mangy brown hair, the other two shortish and similar looking (probably twins) but one was a girl and one a guy. They had black curly hair. I don't recognise them but I saw the names they signed off on the packages with and they sound really familiar. Like I'm sure I heard the names at school but they didn't look familiar - probably relatives or parents. Slytherins I think...

Merlin, I can't stop thinking about that treacle tart! I'm going to go see if Prongs'll make me some seeing as how Moony is out tonight. I'd only ask Padfoot if I had a death wish - he's a shocking cook.

* * *

Peter had always been the least interesting Marauder. His grades were average, his looks plain and his sense of humour sadly under-par. But one thing Peter Pettigrew was good at was observing. His beady little eyes noticed every little detail from what colour a girl's eyes were to the ink stains on peoples' hands. His memory, though not brilliant, was able to recall most things he mentally noted while observing the people and places around him. This made him a fairly valuable employee at Eeylops Emporium for he could remember which owls preferred which treats, and which customers were regulars, and which customers were tricky. He could also remember the way his boss liked his tea, which obviously won him extra brownie points.

Now, the importance of Peter's observant nature lay in the fact that half the time, he didn't realise the importance of the details he was noticing. He noticed that James seemed miserable all the time, even though he had successfully asked out Jasmine on a date. He noticed that Sirius, who was known for his outspoken opinions and occasional inadvertent insensitivity, was being unusually tight-lipped about 'the split' and often changed the subject whenever Lily Evans was mentioned. He noticed that Remus had only spent half of the week home in the evenings and was being abnormally distant, especially to James and Sirius.

So Peter had all these clues, and while he had a feeling that something was not quite right, he couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was.

* * *

After an additional week of stony silences and unbearable tension in the Marauders' flat, Sirius decided that it was time some action was taken.

"Right, I'm off to see Dumbledore," he announced over dinner that Wednesday.

"How come?" Peter asked, looking up from his shepherd's pie.

"Order stuff," Sirius replied shortly, walking down the hall.

"'Scuse me," James muttered, hurrying after his best mate. Remus watched, intrigued but not enough to tear him away from his chocolate pudding.

"Pads, what are you doing?" James hissed, pulling Sirius quickly into the cloak room the boys had extended to keep their brooms.

"The broom closet? Really, Prongs, is that how you planned to put the moves on me for all these years?" Sirius joked.

"I'm not kidding, Pads, what are you doing? There could be Death Eaters watching the house!"

"Seriously, mate, calm down," Sirius said with a frown. "I'm just doing my best-friend duties and trying to sort out your problems for you. I told you I would."

"But, Sirius, what if _He_ finds out you've gone to Dumbledore for help?" James said, running a hand through his hair anxiously.

"Firstly, Prongs, as far as _He _is concerned, you've dropped Lily. Everyone knows by now, it's almost been two weeks!" Sirius said. "And you haven't received any letters or anything, have you?"

James shook his head.

"And secondly," Sirius continued, "As far as _He_ knows, you're the only one who knows about your problem. He has no reason to suspect that you've told me or that I'm trying to help you sort it. Besides, he and his Death Eaters have probably got better things to do on a Thursday night than stake out our flat. I'm going to floo from The Leaky Cauldron. Dumbles knows I'm coming but not why, because I sent him a letter yesterday. And furthermore, I know for a fact that Lily is safe with Cat and Anna at a girls' night in, because as it happens, Cat and I aren't speaking much at the moment and that was all she said to me today at training."

James just stood in silence after Sirius' gentle little rant.

"You're not the only one affected by this, James," Sirius added quietly.

There was another pause.

"Look, Sirius, I'm really sorry-" James began.

"Nah, it's not your fault," Sirius waved a hand. "But it is a problem that I intend to do something about. So just... Relax. Don't think about what I'm off doing. I can help you fix it, alright?"

"Thanks, Pads," James half-smiled. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Curl up in a ball and die from self-pity and over-exposure to the elements, I expect," Sirius joked. "But don't worry. Sirius-ly, what are friends for?"

James chuckled.

"Now let's get out of this closet before Moony gets jealous," Sirius grinned. James laughed properly this time and waved his friend out the front door, hoping that he'd be able to get some help from Dumbledore.

* * *

"So how come you're drinking on a weeknight?" Lily asked Cat, screwing up her eyes as she took another shot of vodka. "Eurgh! That's disgusting!"

"Hey it was your idea to try muggle alcohol," Anna said, "I was all for some Firewhiskey but noooo!"

"We've got the day off tomorrow," Cat explained. "Moody reckons aurors don't get breaks but Gid insisted on account of how he didn't want us to burn out before we could complete our training."

"That was good of him," Anna said.

"Sure was," the auror-to-be replied. "Can't remember the last time he was so considerate."

"So what's going on with you at the moment, Anna Banana?" Lily giggled.

"Work's good and I'm still building up my portfolio to present to the _Prophet_," she said shortly, taking a sip of wine.

"No, no, no, don't mix wine and spirits!" Cat urged, but unfortunately her warnings went unnoticed.

"How's the portfolio going? What are you working on now?" Lily asked.

"Oh, a bit of this, a bit of that?"

"That's very evasive of you," Cat noted.

"Well, I can't really say, you see? It's sort of a secret," Anna said, biting her lip.

"Is it investigative?" Lily asked. "Is it a story about something illegal or conspiracy-ish?"

"It's not about what Caradoc was talking about that time, is it?" Cat asked sharply.

"No, of course not. That would be dangerous!" Anna replied, a bit too quickly.

"Anna?" Cat said sternly.

"What story? What are you guys talking about?" Lily asked, looking from one friend to the other.

"Caradoc was telling us about this wizard from Belgium who went missing last month because he was investigating the illegal potion trade," Cat explained.

"So?"

"So now Little Miss Inquisitive has got it into her head that she can uncover what the Belgian was trying to."

"Why's that a bad thing?" Lily asked thickly.

"Because allegedly the potioneers have links to Death Eaters over here and that's why the Belgian Ministry have covered up his disappearance," Anna explained. "And before you ask, Caradoc knows about it because one of his coaches or something knew the wizard who disappeared."

"Anna, you can't seriously be considering writing this piece!" Cat said.

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself," Anna protested.

"I think Cat's right," Lily said, sobering up a little at the thought of Death Eaters. "You can't afford to get tangled up with these people."

"Well it's too late, I already have," Anna replied, sipping her wine.

"WHAT?"

"I already went to Knockturn Alley and had a bit of a poke around in a few dodgy shops round there, in disguise," she added, "and so far I've found nothing. Unless I get some concrete evidence or a willing interviewee, I _will_ find another story, I promise."

"But Anna-"

"Don't 'but Anna' me," the blonde said to Lily. "I know what I'm doing."

"I guess there's no point in trying to talk sense into you, so let's move on," Cat said.

"What's going on in your life, Lily?" Anna asked in a gentle tone. Lily narrowed her eyes.

"You guys know what's been going on and to be perfectly honest, I don't really want to talk about it."

"But don't you think talking about it might help?" Anna pressed.

"About him? No, I don't," Lily replied stubbornly. Cat and Anna glanced at each other, sharing one of those she-needs-to-talk-about-it-so-we-can-make-her-feel-better-but-how-do-we-make-her-talk looks (very common). Lily saw the pair communicating silently and felt more than a bit grumpy.

"Fine, I'll talk! But stop talking about me behind my back."

"We weren't-"

"But I know you have been - these walls aren't exactly soundproof."

"Well, how are you coping?" Anna asked.

"Let's see. James Potter irritated me for years on end, was an insufferable git, but turned out to be quite a nice guy by seventh year. Somehow he made me fall for him and I thought he was in love with me too. I go on holidays and by the time I come back something has changed. We both get busy at work, he starts avoiding me and before I know it, he's found someone new. He basically ripped out my heart, tore it to shreds then set the remains on fire just to be sure. And he was perfectly nice and apologetic while he was doing it. So, I suppose you could say I'm coping. Or perhaps you could assess that - as you've probably heard me crying myself to sleep every night for the past two weeks - I am still in love with the jerk but there's simply nothing that can be done about it."

Lily followed up her monologue by grabbing the bottle of white wine of the table with an 'oh, give me that' then swigging it straight from the bottle.

"So, that's not coping then?" Cat asked. There was a pause, and then the three girls burst into inexplicable laughter.

"Oh, Cat, I love you," Lily said wiping her eyes.

"Come here," Cat said, pulling Lily into a best-friend-hug. Anna decided to join in too, resulting in a sort of Lily-sandwich.

"I just don't know what to do," Lily said, sniffing slightly.

"Would you like us to castrate him?" Anna asked. "Because I know the spell, and Cat has a key to their flat."

Lily chuckled.

"It's fine. I'm sure it would be a tragedy if James Potter was rendered unable to reproduce."

"Are you sure? Because squinty gits with unmanageable hair aren't exactly in high demand," Cat joked.

"Thanks guys," Lily said. "I really appreciate you being, you know, here and all that."

"No worries, Lils," Cat said.

"What are best friends for?" Anna added.

There was a silence during which the girls each sipped on their drinks and contemplated the infinite mystery that was men.

"I suppose, it's just..." Lily began with a frown. "Like, I want to hate him for what he did, and I sort of do. But somehow I just want him to be happy, so I suppose if it's not with me then it's a good thing that he broke it off. And, you know, better that he did it now then years down the track when I've lost my looks and can't get anyone else." She attempted a smile.

"Oh, Lily. You really do love him, don't you?" Anna said pityingly.

Lily nodded, biting her lip so hard as to stop herself from bursting into tears.

"Well, you know what this means?" Anna said. "We just have to find the home-wrecker he dropped you for and mercilessly attack her."

"No, don't be stupid. He doesn't want me, he wants her. And I don't want to be the pathetic ex-girlfriend who can't get over it. I mean, sometimes I'll go all the way through a shift at work and not think about him once. If I can just keep it going, it won't be so bad, right?"

"You're right, we want to steer clear of the pathetic ex image. It's too tragic for a woman of your dignity, Lils," Cat agreed. "Plus I work with Jazz and it would make things somewhat awkward if I tried to sabotage her while being her co-worker."

"Actually, that makes it all the more simple," Anna grinned. "First thing we need to do-"

"No, enough! It's fine. I'll be fine. I won't stoop to that level," Lily said. "And that's final."

"Fine, but honestly, Lily, you take the fun out of everything," Anna pouted.

"And anyway," Lily continued, "As it turns out, someone else has already asked me out on a date."

"Gee, not much respect for the rebound period," Cat muttered.

"REALLY! Who?" Anna gasped.

"My friend Matt, from the hospital," Lily replied. "He's just my friend, though, at the moment. He knows what happened with James and he's sort of been my only ally at work and, I don't know... I said no, initially, but maybe dating someone else will get my mind off you-know-who and make life a bit less rubbish."

"It sounds like a good idea to me," Anna said, enthusiastically. "But first we need to give you a make-over. Your hair could really do with a trim and your nails, sweetie, are getting a bit tragic."

"Don't you think it's a bit wrong to use him as a rebound?" Cat asked.

"Oh, don't be so old fashioned," Anna answered for Lily. "He knows her history so he must _know_ he's the rebound. And besides, it'll be good for Lils. It's been two weeks since it happened, and not till tonight have I heard her laugh since then."

"I still haven't made up my mind, though. I don't really see him in that way. But maybe, given time..?" Lily trailed off.

"Well, in the meantime, this _is_ a girls night in and that entitles us to manicures and facials and all that girly stuff. And Catherine Jones, don't you _dare_ roll your eyes. You are going to exfoliate and you are going to like it!" Anna ordered.

So the girls spent the rest of the evening drinking, singing along to their radio and giving each other beauty treatments. It had been a long while since they had spent this sort of time together and Lily found herself more relaxed and happy than she had been in months.

* * *

In the meantime, Sirius had floo-ed into Dumbledore's office and was now waiting for the Headmaster to return from dinner in the Great Hall. While he waited, Sirius wandered around the office till he found Dumbledore's pensieve which he then pulled out and carefully placed on the desk. He then placed his wand tip to his temple and, focusing very clearly on the night he had read Voldemort's letter and spoken with James, extracted the memory of reading that letter and placed it into the basin. Sirius frowned, poking at it moodily. He hoped Dumbledore would have a solution but there was no assurance that he would. What if James just had to wait it out and Lily moved on? Sirius worried for his friend - if James wasn't happy, then Sirius wasn't happy and right now the pair were downright miserable.

"Mister Black?"

Sirius turned to see Dumbledore entering the office wearing midnight blue robes and a concerned expression.

"Hello, Professor," Sirius said quite, well, seriously.

"Please, take a seat," Dumbledore suggested, seating himself behind his desk, steeple-ing his fingers together, and gazing over his half-moon glasses at the boy before him.

Sirius sat himself down, and indicated to the pensieve before him. It would be easier to show Dumbledore than to explain himself.

"I take it there is something you wish to show me?" Dumbledore asked. "Very well." He leant forward and tipped his face forwards into the misty basin. Sirius watched on anxiously.

A minute or two later, Dumbledore resurfaced, and sat back in his chair. His eyes were downcast and his silvery brows were pushed together in concern.

"Well?" Sirius asked. "What can you do?"

"I did wonder why James and Lily had parted ways," Dumbledore mused, rubbing his forehead. "But this is worse that I could have anticipated."

"But we can do something, right? I mean, Prongs, err, James, is miserable. He'll be a rubbish auror and Order member the way he is at the moment."

"I knew Tom when he was at school. He enjoyed toying with people, making them bend to his will, and now he can do it outright through threats and bribery. Things do not look good, Sirius."

"But Professor-"

"Albus," Dumbledore interrupted.

"Fine, _Albus_, what can we do about this?"

"It's too risky to do anything outright. We don't know the reach of Voldemort's powers, his surveillance of Lily or James' properties, how interested he is in the pair of them. Clearly, he has a vested interest in them specifically, whether it's because Lily, as a muggle-born, is making a name for herself or because James is an up-and-coming auror with a Head Auror as his father..." Dumbledore trailed off.

"He is MISERABLE! I can't take it - it's tearing us all apart. There is no way we can go on like this!" he said, standing up. "Now WHAT can we do?"

"I'm sorry to tell you, Sirius, but there's not a lot we can do as yet." When it looked as though Sirius was going to explode with rage again, Dumbledore held up his hand. "I have a few ideas about what we can do, but nothing that can be done right at this very point in time. As you can understand, there is no room for error with any plans we make to ensure James and Lily's safety. Any mistakes we make could result in their death, and clearly neither of us wish for that to happen."

"So there's nothing we can do at the moment?"

"No, not right now."

"Well, what ideas do you have? I could easily do some research, Remus could help-"

"I think, for now, it's best to let as few people know as possible. The ideas I have centre around modifications to the Fidelius charm-"

"The Secret-Keeper thing?" Sirius interrupted. "Lily mentioned that to us once when we were studying Charms."

"The very same. I also have in my mind uses for some of the old magic," Dumbledore said pensively.

"Old magic?"

"I need time to think on this, Sirius, and please understand that though it is a very grave thing to break up two people in love, there are more pressing matters that need dealing with at the moment. I'm sure you understand that our fight will not go on hold because of a lovers' quarrel?"

Sirius nodded, mildly frustrated but understanding what Dumbledore was saying.

"Of course," he said. "Thank-you Albus."

"We will solve this, Sirius. But you need patience and hope. I shall speak with you at the next Order meeting, next weekend."

Sirius just nodded and stepped back into the fireplace, returning to tell James the news.

* * *

**AN - **So yes, read and review if you have time, faithful readers! I think LJ will only be apart for two-three more chapters so stick with it. I'm trying to race through their separation coz i don't much like it either. Thanks for all your wonderful reviews so far :D

As usual, any suggestions you have or whatever, let me know and I'll see what I can do. Till next time, Happy Fanficcing! :D

ps Who has seen the new Harry Potter trailer? OH MY MERLIN! SO EXCITED! "The boy who lived, come to die" waaaah!


	8. Missions and Missed Opportunities

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter. But that doesn't stop him from single-handedly destroying my education by making me spend all my study time writing about him

**AN** - So yes, it's been a month, SORRY! But I've made it a doubly long chapter to make it up to you guys. Thank you so much, by the way, for all your reviews - I really love getting feedback, and your support makes me want to keep writing so THANKYOU! In other news, I spent all of today writing bit and pieces of this chapter (because I hate Lily and James being apart as much as you do and thus I find it difficult to write) so I did NONE of the homework that I needed to do for Uni, which is going to come back to bite me on the bum tomorrow. So Review! That way I can have something to look forward to other than disappointing grades :P

**Last time:** Lily considered going out with her friend Matt, Dumbledore was unable to help solve James' problems for the time being, Remus is happy with Laura, Cat and Sirius are fighting, and Peter is delightfully ignorant. Oh, and Anna decided to investigate a story that will no doubt get her into deep trouble...

Read and Review and ENJOY :D

* * *

**Chapter 7 - Missions and Missed Opportunities**

**OH! ALSO - I have been spelling Prewett incorrectly but I can't be bothered going back to fix it. Just so you **know!

The end of October saw James start to date Jazz, much to the disappointment of Cat and Remus who were adamant that James was in the wrong. James had to admit that were he not hopelessly in love with Lily, Jazz might almost be his type. She was a quidditch fanatic, for one thing, and she was incredibly good looking. In his shallower days, James would have thought that this was all he needed so he was ultimately trying to make the best of a bad situation.

The pair had been out to a handful of London's most prominent wizarding eateries, a deliberate move by James to allow for ultimate exposure to spying Death Eaters. He hoped he wouldn't end up putting Jazz at risk by making her his new girlfriend but he figured that as an auror-to-be she would be able to handle herself and also she had no Death Eater enemies to make her a target.

James and Lily had nearly been broken up a month by the time the boy took Jazz out on their sixth date. This evening they were going to see the Appleby Arrows take on the Holyhead Harpies in a field just outside Sheffield and then they were going to have dinner back at James'. Conveniently enough, Peter had gone to visit his mother for the weekend, Remus was practically always at Laura's and Sirius had, out of consideration for his friend, decided to make himself scarce and possibly take Cat to a hotel in Paris (simply because he could... And because they needed to sort themselves out before they ended up like the former golden couple).

As James and Jasmine left the pitch, after the Harpies had thoroughly thrashed the Arrows, she slipped her hand into his. James noticed uncomfortably that it was nearly a perfect fit. _Nearly_.

"James, are you okay?" Jazz asked with concern.

Of course he wasn't okay - he had been thinking about how Lily's hand _had_ been a perfect fit...

"Hmm, yes, fine. Just thinking about how this stuffs up my bet with Sirius. I was sure it'd be a close one," he smiled. Jazz laughed.

"Serves you right for betting, then, doesn't it?"

_Ah, Lily would've made a joke about my betting too_, James thought wistfully. Then he realised that he had stopped walking. Jazz took this as an opportune moment for a kiss, reaching up to wrap her arms around James' neck and plant her lips on his.

They had kissed before, of course, but not like this. She was pressing her body flush against his in a way he wasn't completely comfortable with, and her tongue was running along his lips trying to get into his mouth in a very obvious way. Internally he sighed before giving in to the kiss, which wasn't entirely unpleasant.

_Come on, Potter, you have to make this believable_, he thought to himself remembering that while there was hope for reconciliation with Lily, in the meantime he had to put on a show. With that in mind, he wrapped one arm around Jasmine's waist pulling her closer, and tangled his other hand in her hair. Before he knew it, Jazz had turned on the spot and apparated them to outside the Marauder's apartment. He automatically opened the front door and pulled her through.

They walked down the hall, still holding hands, and into the kitchen where Jazz resumed the snogging position by placing her arms around James.

"How about we skip dinner?" she said with a lustful look in her eyes.

"Err, what?" James stammered, not sure he was at all ready for what was coming next.

"James, this is our sixth date," Jazz said, trying to emphasise her meaning. "Usually it only takes three..."

"Oh, right. B-but, are you sure you want to skip dinner?" he tried to steer the conversation back to safer territory. "I made a-a really nice, err, thing-"

"Don't you want to?" Jazz asked, taking a step back.

"Don't I want to what?" James asked, praying that his assumptions were wrong.

"Don't you want to sleep with me?"

"I, err, well, the thing is-"

"If you don't that's okay," Jasmine said, eyes downcast. "But, I just thought..."

"No, of course I do, I mean, look at you, you're gorgeous. Who wouldn't want to..?" James rambled embarrassedly. "It's just so soon."

"Is it Lily?" Jazz asked softly, "Are you still not over her?"

"Lily? No, no, it's not. I broke up with her to be with you, Jasmine. I really like you," James lied. "I just don't want to move too fast here."

"It's not too fast," Jazz argued. "But if you're not ready, maybe we should take a break or something-"

James' mind reeled in a number of unpleasant directions at the thought of breaking his cover.

"I am ready," he said in his most mature, deep voice, taking a step closer to Jasmine. "You just surprised me. I-I didn't want to ruin things by rushing. But... I'm ready if you are," he grinned. She replied with a kiss and a surprised squeal when he picked her up by the waist, allowing her to wrap her legs around him for the trip to the bedroom.

* * *

Sirius and Cat had been going through a rough patch ever since Lily and James had split. Cat knew that something wasn't quite right and that Sirius wasn't being honest with her and Sirius knew that Cat was angry at him, but there really was nothing he could say without compromising the whole point of the James-dumps-Lily-for-her-own-good scenario. So he hoped that this date would smooth things over for a little while until things got back to normal.

"Where are we going?" Cat asked, frowning behind the black cloth tied over her eyes.

"It's a surprise," Sirius replied, taking her hand and turning on the spot.

"I don't appreciate not being able to see, Black. It's not doing wonders for my sense of security."

"That's why I'm here," he said, undoing her blindfold.

"That doesn't do much to make me feel safer," she replied, pursing her lips. Sirius sighed - it was going to be a long night.

"Just hold on a minute, would you?" he replied, trying his best to keep from sounding irritated.

Cat remained quiet but folded her arms across her chest in a huffy gesture. Sirius, dressed in proper dress robes of a deep crimson (because the boy had style), guided his girlfriend up the short cobblestoned alley to the small wizarding bistro in Montmartre. Before entering he pulled off Cat's blindfold and smirked slightly at the passing look of awe on her face, which hardened back into stubbornness when she caught him looking. Sirius paused with his hand on the doorknob.

"Are you going to be like this all night?" he asked in exasperation. Cat felt a slight twinge of guilt. It did look like Sirius had gone to a lot of effort to impress her.

"Maybe," she replied.

"Listen, I know what's going on with Prongs and Lily is upsetting, but can we not just have a night to ourselves? Can't we just forget about them for the night and focus on us?" he pleaded.

"How can I? She's my best friend-"

"And I understand that, I really do, but _please_ Catherine. This is about _us_. Just for tonight. Just forget about them. Tonight, all I care about is you and me and this posh restaurant's frogs' legs, okay?"

Cat smiled, loving that Sirius would do something this special just for her. "Yeah, alright. Sorry," she said.

"No worries at all, love," Sirius said, kissing her hand debonairly. "And might I say that you look stunning tonight?"

"You cut a fairly dashing figure yourself, Mister Black," Cat said flirtatiously, linking her arm through his. "Shall we?"

Sirius grinned and led her into the restaurant.

**

* * *

Remus' Occlumency Diary**

November already! Time seems to be moving unnaturally quickly these days. That means Laura and I have been dating for a month or something. She's perfect. I want to introduce her to the Marauders and, for that matter, to everyone else. I'm thinking of throwing her a birthday party - her birthday is on the 28th - just a dinner or something low-key. That way I can introduce her to everyone at once.

I'd better go, I'm running late for work because I woke up at Laura's flat again. I practically live there these days because I'm avoiding James. I just really don't like him at the moment. I hope things get better because I honestly do miss my friends, but I miss the way they used to be and I can't pretend that things haven't changed back home.  
Anyway, better dash.

* * *

After the entree, the main and an entire bottle of champagne, Cat and Sirius were feeling more like their old selves - happy and free and completely ready to jump each other.

"Honestly, can't we just skip dessert and go back home?" Sirius asked, watching Cat lick the corner of her mouth with such longing that it almost made her laugh.

"There are a few things I want to talk to you about first," she said.

"It's not about the you know who-s, is it?" Sirius asked, referring to Lily and James.

"No, it's about my mum," Cat said. "It's just, she and Jake are being moved to another safe house. I don't know why or where or anything really. And I just thought I should tell you because, well, you're you, aren't you?"

"When?"

"A week or two ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius frowned.

"We weren't on great terms and, I don't know... I just, didn't feel like it," Cat shrugged. "But it really worried me. I don't know how to find out more about what's going on and the Ministry certainly aren't telling me anything."

"Do you want me to look into it when I'm at work?" Sirius asked. "Find out why they were moved and whatever?"

"I don't want to put you in that position-" Cat began.

"It wouldn't be a problem, really. I just... Won't tell anyone," he grinned.

Cat rolled her eyes, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm sure if I ask Dumbledore he'll be able to tell me something."

"Wouldn't count on it," Sirius said darkly. "He's very busy with Order business at the moment. Doesn't seem to have a spare minute for anyone."

Cat paused, her spoon halfway to her mouth. "You sound like you're speaking from experience?" she said questioningly.

"It's nothing. Maybe ask him at the next Order meeting," Sirius said, picking up his spoon.

"The whole reason we having been speaking is because you are keeping things from me," Cat said angrily. "Don't ruin tonight by lying."

"Tonight is supposed to be just about us. I want to leave all that other crap back home."

"Sirius, try as you might, that crap is going to follow you. I'm sick of this secretive thing you've got going on. I can't trust you if you're not honest with me. And where would we be without trust? You can't have a relationship with out it, or a partnership or any semblance of a friendship even."

"Cat, listen-"

"No, Black, I've had it. I know you've gone to a lot of effort with tonight to try and smooth things over with us but it's not going to work. You need to be honest with me or... Or I don't think we can..." she sighed, making it perfectly clear what she meant.

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair. It seemed he had no choice - honour his word to James who wouldn't need to know anyway and lose Cat, or tell Cat and pray that she kept her mouth shut. But when it came down to it, he found that he did trust her - both with his life and with Lily's. "Listen, I'll tell you everything but we have to make sure no-one's listening."

Cat frowned, and opened her mouth as if to protest.

"Seriously, Cat. I need you to trust me on this." Sirius said. She didn't argue.

The rest of the dinner continued in silence, but it didn't take long for the pair of them to get out of the now stifling restaurant. Sirius lead Cat around the corner and down several mostly deserted streets until they reached a small hotel. The outside was painted an off-white, blending in with the other buildings on the street. The room that the pair ended up in had dark wooden panelling on the walls, a plush double bed and large bay windows that opened into a small courtyard out the back. Under any other circumstances, it would've been an incredibly romantic location. After closing the curtains and casting several anti-spy charms on the room, Sirius sat Cat on the bed and briefly explained the nature of Lily and James' relationship breakdown.

"Look, James didn't want to dump Lily. He was threatened and he had no choice or Lily would be in danger. That's all I can tell you."

"But, wait. What? You mean You-Know-Who made him-"

"I can't say anything else, Cat," Sirius said, looking anguished. "But you _can't tell anyone_."

"Are you joking? If Lily knew-"

"She CAN'T!"

"Why not? Then they could sort this whole stupid mess out and things could go back to normal."

"Because if Voldemort got wind of it, and he would, then we could get one of them killed!"

"That's stupid!" Cat protested.

"That's life," Sirius argued. "We are the only ones that know apart from James and Dumbledore, who says he's working on a solution, so we just have to be patient and wait it out. It'll all work out in the long run. But _please_, Cat, for their safety - you _can't tell anyone_."

Cat ran a hand over her face as if to smooth out the creases that had appeared on her forehead.

"Now can you see why I haven't wanted to talk about it?" Sirius asked, relief at having shared the secret with someone.

Cat laughed shakily. "And here I thought you and James had some scandal that you didn't want to share."

"You can't tell James that you know," Sirius warned. "For one thing, he'd kill me. And for another... He'd kill me!"

"Okay, I get the idea. And I suppose I should just pretend to be in the dark so that it's easier for all involved," Cat said. Sirius nodded. The pair of them felt as though a great weight had been lifted from their shoulders and they wanted to celebrate. A lot.

"Well, that's that out of the way," Cat said. "Now there was one more thing I wanted to tell you back at the restaurant."

"Really?"

Cat grinned, before closing her eyes and concentrating very hard on her goal. The next thing her boyfriend knew, he was sharing the room with a small jungle cat.

"You are kidding me!"

He stepped forwards with a look of awe on his face and Cat the cat stalked forwards to rub against his legs.

"When did this happen?" he asked.

Cat transformed back slowly.

"Eugh," she said cracking her neck. "Still not used to that. I finally got it two weeks ago, but I had no-one to show it to."

"I can't believe we've been fighting this long!" Sirius said. "It's like I hardly know you at all," he joked.

"Well..." Cat said coyly. "I think I know a way to fix that," she said, pushing him backwards onto the bed.

"So, just to clarify," Sirius said as Cat straddled him with one knee either side of his hips, "We aren't going to let this Voldemort-death-threat thing come between us, right?"

"Not at all," Cat said, reaching behind to unhook her dress. "As long as you're honest with me, that's all I care about."

"Honestly? I have been waiting to take that dress off you all night," Sirius said lecherously, rolling on top of Cat.

"You know there are so many bad puns I could make about your animagus form, pussy cat?" he said with a grin.

"You call me that again and you won't get any for a month," Cat warned seriously.

"Point taken," Sirius conceded, pulling his girlfriend in for a kiss that he had been waiting for the entire night.

**

* * *

The next Order meeting was to take place on the first Friday of November at the Hog's Head pub in Hogsmeade. Sirius had spent the week trying to convince James that this was the time to go properly public (to his closer friends and colleagues) about his 'relationship' with Jasmine. For obvious reasons the poor boy was reluctant. **

"Pads, I don't want to. Firstly, I don't even like her that much. It's bad enough that we had sex," he shuddered. "But most of all, I don't want to rub Lily's face in it."

"Rub Lily's face in what?" Cat asked, entering the room. Since she and Sirius had reconciled (quite enthusiastically) in Paris she had been spending more time around the Marauders' flat.

"James is bringing Jazz to the Order meeting," Sirius said.

"Oh, James, you're not," Cat winced. "I'm... Glad you're _happy_ but do you have to rub Lily's face in it?"

"See!" James argued.

"Besides, she's not even an Order member," Cat said.

"Yes, but luckily I went over both of your heads and asked Dumbledore to invite her to join. He said any training aurors were welcome as long as their allegiance to the fight is stronger than their allegiance to the Ministry."

"Fine, whatever, but just don't flaunt it, okay?" Cat said. "Lily's trying to get over you, she's dating and we don't need you making her feel worse about herself, got it?"

James nodded mutely, watching Cat grab an apple and leave the room.

"I'm so pissed at you, Sirius," he hissed when she was gone.

"I know," Sirius sighed. "But it's for your own good."

* * *

Lily and Anna apparated to Hogsmeade together just after sundown. Pulling their scarves tighter about their necks they hurried towards the uninviting Hog's Head. Lily's mind was elsewhere as the pair pulled up some seats at the bar and awaited further instruction from the landlord. To be more specific, she was thinking back to conversation she and Anna had been having before they left.

"Sweetie, I just don't know if it's what you really want, that's all."

"Anna, last week you were telling me to use Matt as a rebound. Now you're telling me the opposite. Make up your mind," Lily sighed, pulling her green sweater over her head.

"Don't get me wrong, I think you should go for it," Anna said. "It's just that I don't want you to get into anything you're not ready for."

"And who's to say I'm not ready?" Lily asked, pausing with her brush halfway through her tangle of red hair (it had been a busy day at St Mungo's). "As far as I know James and Jasmine have already slept together. So why can't I go on a simple date?"

"They _what_? Already? How did I not know this?"

"Cat knew you'd make a fuss so she didn't tell you, and you didn't answer my question."

"Why can't you go on a simple date? Oh, I suppose you can, it's just that it's rare that things are ever simple with you, Lily."

"Can we drop this now? We're going to be late," Lily said, ignoring the blonde witch. Anna frowned with concern but nevertheless took Lily's advice.

Here they were five minutes later, sat in awkward silence, each toying with their bottles of Butterbeer that they'd bought to pass the time. After all, it would look odd sitting at a bar, not talking to anyone, without a drink. Lily looked up as the doorbell tinkled. Remus and Peter entered the bar, both looking equally cautious with long travel cloaks over their shoulders. Lily offered them a little wave from her stool. Peter sort of half smiled, as though he wasn't sure if it'd be allowed for him to wave back, whereas Remus smiled broadly and went over to give both the girls hugs hello. Lily didn't think she'd ever been so glad to see the lycanthrope before.

"Lily, Anna, how are you both?" he said genuinely. Lily was about to reply when Aberforth, the bartender, coughed loudly, effectively gaining their attention. He jerked his head in the direction of the back-room prompting the four of them to silently file through the thick oak door.

The room, which seemed to be larger on the inside than one would assume, was already half filled with a collection of people - some of whom were familiar. Lily saw Marlene McKinnon and Frank Longbottom sitting near the fireplace talking with Alice. Gideon and Fabian Prewett, who Remus had heard of from Sirius and James, were standing near the boarded up window talking quidditch loudly with Caradoc.

"Excuse me," Anna said politely, slipping off to join her boyfriend.

A handful of older witches and wizards were sat in some of the seats provided for the meeting, so Remus motioned that they should do the same.

"So, how are you, Lily?"

"Oh, you know, same old," she smiled. "And you two?"

"Not bad," Peter said, "Still working at the post office in Hogsmeade."

"And you, Remus? You haven't written in a while," Lily said.

"Yes, sorry! I've just been a bit, err, preoccupied," Remus mumbled apologetically, but he couldn't help smiling a little.

"Laura, is it?" Lily grinned. Peter rolled his eyes.

"He's never bloody home anymore. This girl's got him under her thumb!"

Lily chuckled at Remus' blush and Peter, deciding he was sick of the conversation, went over to say hello to Frank.

"So, really, are you doing okay?" Remus asked when Lily's laughter had subsided.

"I'm alright, honestly. In fact, I'm thinking of dating again," Lily said, trying to be positive.

"That's wonderful," Remus said.

At that moment, the door opened again and another trickle of people entered the room, amongst them James, Sirius, Cat... and Jasmine. Lily felt the need to suddenly be very enthusiastic.

"Yeah, it is," she said with an unusually wide grin. "His name is Matt, he studies healing with me at St Mungo's, what else? Oh, he's muggle born, like me, and he's just such a nice guy," she gushed, as their friends sauntered over.

"Who are we talking about?" Cat asked, giving Remus a one-armed hug of greeting.

"Matt," Lily said, false smile still plastered across her face. "We're dating."

James tried very hard not to look like he'd been slapped in the face. Sirius and Cat both glanced nervously at him out of the corners of their eyes, hoping he wouldn't let the hurt show.

Jasmine, oblivious, stuck out her hand boldly.

"Hi, Lily. I think we met the other week. I'm Jasmine, or Jazz."

"Hello, lovely to meet you," Lily said with a sugary sweet voice.

"Oh, Lily, I completely forgot I had to tell you something about that thing before when... Excuse us," Cat said, just wanting to diffuse the situation. She grabbed Lily's arm and steered her away from the group, but not before Lily gave a friendly hug to Sirius, ignoring James completely.

"That was restrained of you," Cat commented quietly.

"Well, yes, what I actually wanted to say was 'Yes, I remember, you're the witch who stole my boyfriend and slept with him within days of our breakup' but I thought that might be a bit rude," Lily said angrily.

"Well, I don't think it was days-" Cat began, but Lily shut her up with a glare.

"So, what was that about Matt, then? Did you decide to ask him out?"

Lily sighed heavily. "I'm not about to sit around and mope till my dying day. I am allowed to have fun, you know?"

"So he's your rebound guy?"

Lily shrugged. "He asked me the other day, just casually, and I said I'd think about it. He's a friend so I don't think he classifies as a rebound. I like him, you know?"

Cat just nodded, hoping that Dumbledore had come up with a solution for James to take away at the end of the night.

"You think I'm using him?" Lily asked accusingly.

"No, not at all-"

"I can't believe he brought _her_ here," Lily interrupted vehemently. "She's not even an official Order member. For all we know, she could be a spy."

"I doubt it, Lils. She works for the Ministry."

"Who's to say You-Know-Who hasn't infiltrated the Ministry, then?" Lily argued.

"We all work there," Cat replied, "And why shouldn't she be allowed to join if she feels strongly about the protection of muggle-borns and eradication of blood supremacy?"

"Sounds like you're on her side," Lily said.

"I'm not taking sides. I am Switzerland."

"You're my best friend, Cat," Lily said in a hurt voice. "I thought you understood-"

"I do, Lily, more than you know," Cat interrupted.

"Why does everyone keep treating me like I'm missing the point with this thing?" the red head exclaimed exasperatedly. "I'm sick of it. And I don't want Ja-Potter to see us fighting because of him so can we please change the subject."

Luckily, Lily was spared the trouble because at that moment the door opened for a final time and the last members of the Order of the Phoenix entered the room, followed by Dumbledore in the blackest of robes.

"Good evening," he said in a sombre voice. "Please take a seat."

The meeting that followed was long and arduous. Dumbledore's many sources had notified the Order of several planned Death Eater meetings and at least two attacks scheduled for muggle towns in the lead up to Christmas and so the majority of the meeting had been spent devising how best to tackle the problems. They had been divided up into pairs for surveillance of the Death Eater meetings and James was pleased, at last, to have something to do. He and Remus were the third pair to be assigned a meeting which was to take place in a fortnight's time. James was also glad because it would force Remus to spend some time with him and maybe give him an opportunity to convince Remus that he wasn't the bad guy that Remus was treating him as.

Other decisions had to be made as well, including Jazz's induction into the Order as a Ministry contact and ally in any battles to come. She wouldn't be attending any more meetings, but would keep her own contacts within the Ministry through her position as a trainee auror and alert the Order to any need-to-know information. It was here that she had the edge over James, Sirius and Cat, because she hadn't been a Hogwarts student and therefore wasn't associated closely with Dumbledore - something Death Eaters would obviously be wary of.

When the last of the Order had left, Sirius and Cat lingered at the bar waiting for Dumbledore to reemerge (James had taken Jazz home). Before Sirius could even open his mouth, Dumbledore raised his hand.

"Please, Sirius, Catherine, I know you are both concerned for your friends but you will have to be a little more patient with me. The most important thing at the moment is that we prevent these attacks and put as many Death Eaters where they can do no more harm."

Cat and Sirius avoided eye contact - there was no arguing with what Dumbledore was saying.

"I gave you my word that I will do all I can for James and Lily, not only as their former Headmaster but as a friend, but I implore you to trust me. Now I must get back to Hogwarts. I shall see you at next week's meeting," he said, sweeping out of the room.

"Well, that was disappointing," Cat said, sighing.

"Don't even think about telling Lily," Sirius warned.

"Like I would," she replied, shooting him a withering glare.

"Right, well, let's go. I suddenly find I'm in need of a drink!"

* * *

Three days later and Lily had made up her mind. She had spent the entire week stewing over James and Jasmine and had decided that if James got to flaunt a new relationship, why shouldn't she? Sure, she wasn't _that_ into Matt, but if it was going to make her feel better about being dumped then why not?

It was in the staff break room at St Mungo's that Lily, for want of a better word, propositioned her friend. She was poking awkwardly at her cup-a-soup noodles when Matt came over, offering her a cup of tea.

"Thanks, Matt," she smiled.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, sitting down across from her.

"You could say that," Lily looked down.

"Hmm, ambiguous..." he chuckled and Lily decided to just bite the bullet.

"You know the other week when you asked me out; does that offer still stand?"

"Your cheeks have turned the same colour as your hair," he grinned, reminding her very much of the Marauders.

"Is that a yes?" she said, hating how pathetic she sounded.

"Of course it is," he said.

"Is _that _a yes?"

Matt just laughed. Lily looked up from her noodles and tea at the man with neatly combed hair and _Doctor Who_ mug of tea and realised that the smile on his face was genuinely full of promise.

"You're just teasing me by not answering, now, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'll go out with you Lils. I only asked you two weeks ago, it's not like I've stopped fancying you!"

Now it was Lily's turn to laugh.

"So where do you want to go?"

"Surprise me," Lily challenged, in equal parts excited and morally conflicted. Excited because, let's face it, who doesn't like being told they're fancied and morally conflicted because she was pretty sure she was using Matt - her friend - as a rebound. But for now she buried the conflict and just allowed herself to be happy at feeling, for the first time in what felt like ages, wanted.

* * *

**Lily's Occlumency Diary**

So I finally took Matt up on his offer and we went for drinks after work on Monday. And I don't think it was at all a bad idea.

Well, that's not completely true. I did have... reservations about dating a friend, but it was totally normal. On a first date there's a certain level of awkwardness that is to be expected. You know? Awkward eye contact, blushing, both trying to speak at the same time, misunderstanding one another but laughing it off or changing the subject - the list goes on. But at the same time, I felt comfortable.

And maybe that's how it should be. Comfortable and nice.

Matt's a sweet guy. He's clever and studious and is well groomed most of the time. When I met him in Australia he was more of a beach-bum, so to speak, but I guess it's too cold for that over here. Which explains his tamer hair, I suppose.

It's Potter's fault I'm so focussed on Matt's hair. Potter always messed up his hair - always _had_ to look like he'd just gotten off his broom. That's probably why I find myself longing to ruffle up Matt's hair, just a little bit.

But I don't want to think about Potter, I want to think about Matt.

Oh, but if I can't tell a diary, who can I tell?

It's just, the thing is... I want to hate him. James, not Matt. I really think that I have a right to hate him after everything he's put me through.

But I just _can't_!

I saw him only the other day at the Order meeting and I had to completely ignore him. Didn't even look him in the face, because I knew that if I did I'd probably have lost it and I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I refuse to.

I'm not going to let him get inside my head. I just need to focus on my future now.

At the Order meeting I saw Dorcas Meadows again. I met her earlier in the year with James (after my sister's wedding, just before James first told me...)

Anyway, Dorcas and I have been in contact since I left Hogwarts through letters and the Order meetings, and this week we went to have a drink afterwards in the Three Broomsticks. Her fiancé, Benjy, went home to let us have some girl time, which was very considerate of him, really. That's how boyfriends should be - considerate. I bet he's never broken Dorcas' heart...

But I digress.  
I was telling her about how I'm going well at St Mungo's but that I've recently been thinking that it's not really what I want to spend the rest of my life doing. To be honest, it's a bit mundane. I could be spending my time better than following orders as a lowly intern for four years. Even when I become a healer, it's more of the same: handing out potions, telling patients off for doing stupid things, bossing other people around, writing reports. I just think I could be doing something better with my time. Dorcas was telling me I should try sticking it out as I've only been there two and a bit months. Which is true - I'm not a quitter, so I don't want to leave (simply due to my pride).

But then Dorcas gave me some hope.

She said that in one month, if I'm still not happy at St Mungo's, she'll see if she can get me into a job in the experimental charms division in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry. Apparently, I was highly recommended to her boss by Professor Flitwick _and_ my NEWTs examiners, but St Mungo's had already signed me on so there was no point in asking me. Dorcas assures me, though, that there would be a place for me if I asked.

So that's my plan - try to stick it out one month longer at the hospital and if I'm still not enjoying it, I've as good as got a job at the Ministry.

Like I said, diary, I just have to keep looking forward and moving forward. I've got new job prospects and a new boyfriend. By rights I should be happy.  
And so I will be. Soon.

* * *

_Hey Remus,_

_I know you're probably at work at the moment, but I just thought I'd drop you an owl to say hi. So... Hi!_

_I just wanted to let you know how much your support has meant to me in the last month. You're really a good friend, Remus, and I just hope you know how much I appreciate you. I heard through Cat, though, that you're not talking to Sirius and Potter and I hope that it's not on my account. _

_I've decided that I'm not going to let what happened in the past stop me from enjoying life in the here and now, so if you are giving them the silent treatment because you're being a good friend to me... Well, I appreciate it, of course, but don't feel like you need to. I'm not mad at either of them anymore and I guess I just want them to be happy. But most of all I want you to be happy and not talking to two of your best friends must be taking some toll. So, yeah, forgive and forget. That's what I'm trying to do. In fact, I'm going on another date with Matt tonight, so wish me luck!_

_I hope that things are going well for you and Laura and I'll see you at the next meeting. _

_Love, Lily._

_

* * *

_

"What are you doing in here at-" Cat checked the clock on the wall, "Five thirty in the morning?"

"Hmm?" Anna said, looking up from her sheaf of papers that she had been shuffling noisily on the kitchen table. "Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?"

"The kitchen light was on and it's still dark outside. I was curious," Cat said, padding over to the table in her oversized pyjama tee-shirt. "What is all this stuff?"

"Just some notes for work," Anna replied, trying to quickly sweep them out of the way but she was too slow for her auror-to-be friend who snatched one of the pieces of paper before Anna could get to it.

"Ludolf Janssen disappeared last week from his two-bedroom flat following a dinner out with friends at a popular muggle restaurant. Janssen was a writer for the popular Belgian paper 'De Dagelijkse Profeet' and was believed to be working on a top-secret, undercover piece," Cat read before throwing down the piece of paper. "Anna! This was that story Caradoc was telling us about, wasn't it? We told you not to look into this - you're going to get yourself into trouble, just like Ludwig did."

"Ludolf, Cat. And I'm not. I'm being really cautious about this whole thing. There's heaps of evidence out there to prove that he was murdered by Death Eaters-"

"No, Anna, you can't-" Cat interrupted.

"Listen to this. 'I don't know what he was working on, but he was very excited about it. Said it would be of great profit to him if he could get the information specifically to your country's ministry'. That's a quote from his co-worker at the Dutch Prophet. She told me that today and also said that no-one else has asked her anything about Ludolf."

"Doesn't that tell you anything, Anna? No-one's asked her because no-one, bar you, it seems, wants to get themselves killed!"

"If I could just get my hands on some of his notes, then I'd know for sure what Ludolf was researching. I'd be able to help out the Ministry just the same as you and Lily do with your jobs - I would be helping put the Death Eaters away!"

"Why don't you join the Ministry as an auror, then? Get some professional training. I don't know? Fulfil your need to play the hero, or whatever it is, because this way is too dangerous!" Cat raised her voice.

"What's going on?" came a sleepy voice from the doorway.

"Nothing, Lils, go back to sleep," Anna replied, shuffling through her papers again.

"Anna's been investigating that missing persons case, you know, that wizard from Belgium? She's gotten it into her head that if she can work out what he was looking into, she can help put some Death Eaters behind bars. How ridiculous is that?" Cat fumed. Lily furrowed her brow in confusion, walking over to the sink and filling the kettle for tea, before sitting down next to Anna as she willed her brain into gear.

"What?"

"This guy, Ludolf Janssen, he worked for the Prophet in Belgium and he went missing a while ago under suspicious circumstances. There was talk that he'd been looking into some shady Death Eater dealings and had gotten in too deep, but no-one wanted to look into it because it would be risky OR it was a wild goose chase. But I've done some digging. I spoke to his colleague who said something vague about underground potion racketeering and I've looked into his family background. It seems he was outcast by his family since becoming a werewolf a few years ago, but still found employment at the paper-" she stopped to take a breath.  
"Anyway, I think he was using his lycanthrope status as a cover while he went underground to investigate this potion stuff because rumour has it, it's linked to the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who. They must've found out and that's why he went missing. But no-one has his research and the Death Eaters are getting off scot-free!"

"Isn't this just insane?" Cat inquired, looking to Lily for back-up, "Don't you think, Lily?"

Lily paused, taking her time to pour the boiling water into the teapot.

"Lily?"

"I don't know, Cat, I think maybe Anna's right to investigate this."

"Thank-you!" Anna said emphatically, narrowing her eyes at Cat.

"Have you lost it as well?" Cat exclaimed. "This is madness!"

"Think about it, though. If Anna works out what's going on, she could help put the bad guys in Azkaban where they belong."

"Are you daft, Lily, or have you not had enough sleep? What about her safety? Surely it's the Ministry's responsibility to clean up after You-Know-Who?"

"I agree that it's incredibly dangerous..." Lily conceded. "But maybe a bit of danger isn't a bad thing."

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Lily?" Anna asked, feeling worry for her strict-on-safety friend who was usually a big fan of the buddy system and an adamant denouncer of people going it alone.

"Look, I'm just saying that if you really want to do this, we have no right to stop you," Lily reasoned. "And besides, we can't just sit around waiting to be told what to do by the Order. If you have a hunch, backed up by evidence like you have, and it's ultimately going to protect a bunch of people then you have a duty to go ahead and do it."

"Last time we talked about this you agreed with Cat, though. Why the sudden change?" Anna asked, grateful that she had some modicum of support but worried about Lily's sudden attitude adjustment.

"I just think that we need to be doing more with our lives than sitting around accepting what comes our way," Lily said. "Maybe you should talk to Peter about this?" she suggested.

"Umm, why?" Anna replied.

"Because he works at the post office in Hogsmeade, where a good deal of wizard mail passes through. Surely if it was an illegal potion racket, there would be signs of it there."

"The whole point of illegal is that it's underground," Cat said, "They'd be daft to go through a system that they could be tracked through."

"Yes, well, last time I checked Death Eaters weren't exactly the brains trust," Lily said.

"And, I suppose, Janssen had to get his leads from somewhere..." Anna mused, "If only his flat hadn't been ransacked, I could look there."

"Oh, will you listen to yourselves? Death eaters, ransacking, disappearances! It's _dangerous_, I don't know how many more times I have to say it!" Cat yelled.

"Right, well I'm going back to bed for the next hour or so before work. Please keep the bickering to a minimum," Lily said, sauntering out of the room and leaving her two friends bewildered in her wake.

* * *

_Dear Lily,_

_Thanks for your letter. Laura and I are going well. Really well, actually. I want her to meet you all as soon as possible. And by 'you all' I do mean the rest of the Marauders. I have taken your advice and I'm being as civil as I can to Padfoot and Prongs, but I still take issue with the way Prongs in particular treated you. I know you don't want to be the cause of a rift, but it's not your fault, Lily. You didn't do anything wrong. _

_So, yes, things are still a bit tense over here. But at least there's Peter..._

_Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with Matt as well. Laura has told me that he's a good sort, if a little difficult to understand (what with his accent and all). Hopefully we will get to meet him soon. _

_As for the meeting, I probably won't make it because it's a day before the full moon and I need to try to keep the self harm to a minimum so I can be in fighting form for the following week's mission. It depends how I feel, I suppose. _

_But I do hope to see you soon, Lily. I do miss your company. _

_Remus.  
_

_

* * *

The Order meeting that Remus mentioned turned out to be quite an event. As with the previous meeting, people had trickled in over a period of time so as not to arouse suspicion. It just so happened that the first group of people to be alone in the small room together were the former Gryffindor friendship group of James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Cat, Anna and Lily. Needless to say there was an air of awkward anticipation when the seven of them settled themselves near the fire. Lily was glad to see that Remus had made it, even if he was looking a tad-bit exhausted. She gave him a warm hug before they all sat down. Being the Gryffindor that he was, James struck up the courage to speak first. _

"So, how is everyone going?"

"Gee, mate, I spend nearly every waking minute with you. Is your memory really that bad?" Sirius replied casually, making everyone smile.

"Don't be a git, Pads," James retorted with a friendly shove.

"Merlin, it's like being back at school with a bunch of idiot boys," Anna grinned.

"They still are a bunch of idiot boys," Cat chipped in, "Trust me."

"Oi! I take offense at that," Sirius said. "I'm fairly sure that, on a number of occasions, I have proven to be the manliest of men, Jones," he winked.

"Urgh, Sirius, I've just eaten. I don't want to think about your tawdry sex life with my best friend!" Lily cried, making Anna nod in agreement.

"So, really, though, how are we all?" Peter asked, feeling comforted to be back with a group of people he knew and felt safe with.

"I'm good," Anna replied. "I've been looking into a really interesting story about illegal potion trade and Death Eaters and all that juicy stuff. Actually, I've been meaning to ask you about your job, Peter. Do you mind if we just have a quick chat?" Without waiting for a response, Anna had yanked him out of his seat and marched him away to a secluded corner.

"Just like the old days. Bossy boots Anna forces men to bend to her every whim," Remus smiled wryly.

"How's Laura, Remus?" Cat asked politely, trying to ignore Sirius playing footsie with her under the coffee table.

"Great, yeah, she's great. We're great. You know," he blushed, trailing off. Lily couldn't help but smile.

"I'm really happy for you, Remus," she said. Then she caught James looking at her with an intensity that she couldn't quite understand. She raised an eyebrow at him then looked away. Cat and Sirius, noting the awkwardness, tried to keep the conversation going.

"So, Lily-flower, how is your life treating you?" Sirius asked, trying to ignore James' body tense-up next to his.

"Not too bad, all things considered," she said, allowing her eyes to flick back to James once more, who then looked guiltily at the ground.

_Be nice, Lily_, she told herself. _You want him to be happy, don't you?_

_Or maybe I want him to suffer, just a bit. The way he made me suffer,_ said the other voice in her head. The voice that she tried to suppress as much as possible. _That's why you agreed to date Matt, wasn't it? To make James jealous?_

_But why would he be jealous if he's with someone else? _Reasonable Lily asked herself.

_Because he lo-_

"Lily? Hellooo? I asked you a question," Cat was waving a hand in front of her face looking mildly concerned.

"Sorry, got a bit distracted then."

"Must have been a Wrackspurt. They fly in through the ears and make your brain go fuzzy," Remus said with a straight face, sending them all into peels of laughter.

"Mate, you have got to stop spending time at that bookshop of yours. The solitude has driven you bonkers," Sirius said.

"It's not my fault that Xenophilius Lovegood is a regular weekend customer!" Remus protested. "Listen to his rants long enough and some of it starts to sink in."

He caught Lily's eye and she smiled appreciatively back at him.

"So, Lily, I _was_ asking you a question," Cat said. "How's Matt?"

She felt Sirius kick her under the table and kicked him right back. After all, she knew why James had hurt Lily, but that didn't dismiss the fact that she was Lily's best friend and needed to show her support and loyalty.

"Who's Matt, then?" James asked, trying to keep the anger and hurt out of his voice, and earning a kick from Sirius under the table.

"Lily's seeing someone," Remus said.

"He's good, yeah," Lily replied, the evil voice in her head feeling vindicated by the look of upset on James' face. _Good_, she thought, _see how he likes it then_.

"We're both really busy at the hospital at the moment, but I guess it's good that we work together because otherwise we might drift apart," she said, green eyes flicking to James and back again.

_Okay, that's enough now_, the sensible Lily-voice said. "Anyway, it's going quite well. I was thinking about telling him about the Order as he's a muggle-born too," she added. "But I'm not sure yet."

"Good for you, Lily-flower," Sirius said with a forced smile.

"Thanks, Sirius," Lily replied, with a sickly sweet smile.

"Right, well, I'm going to go see if Anna's done interrogating poor Wormtail," Remus said, excusing himself. There was only so much tension the poor boy could take.

"I'm quite thirsty. Does anyone else want a drink?" Lily asked.

"No thanks," Sirius replied. Lily smiled and made her way back through the oak door to the bar in the Hog's Head. After a minute of looking agonized in his seat, staring at the fire, James sprang to his feet.

"I'm thirsty," he said shortly, making to follow Lily out the door.

"Prongs, don't," Sirius warned. "You'll regret it." Cat pretended to play dumb and stayed quiet.

"I'll be back in a minute," was all James said, pushing the door open.

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Cat said.

"And we were having such a nice time, too," Sirius mused.

Meanwhile, Lily had just ordered a Firewhiskey from Aberforth and was now sitting at a stool at the bar. She couldn't stand it in the smaller room. It was too hot, too uncomfortable for her to stay a minute longer, especially in the company of one James Potter.

"I'll have the same thanks," came the voice of said wizard who was now, apparently, standing right beside her. Lily took a big swig of her drink, wincing slightly as it burned a pathway down her throat.

"All right, there, Lily?" he asked quietly.

"How's Jasmine?" she replied, not looking at him.

"She's fine," James replied shortly, already regretting following Lily out.

"Is there any reason you followed me, James?" she asked roughly.

Internally, he sighed in relief. At least she was still calling him James.

"Thirsty," he replied. Lily snorted in un-ladylike disbelief. "And, I guess, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Really?" she said, trying to sound sarcastic but unfortunately sounding more pleading than anything.

"Yeah," he said, staring at her even though she was refusing to make eye contact. He cleared his throat which seemed to have developed a lump. Lily's evil inner dialogue started up again, much to her chagrin. _See? He's upset that you've moved on. Now twist the knife a little, just for luck!_

"I miss talking to you, Lils," he said, hating that he sounded pathetic and knowing that he shouldn't even be seen in public with her.

"Surely you can talk to Jazz instead," Lily sneered, giving in to her vindictive alter-ego, and practically spitting out Jazz's name. "Matt and I talk all the time."

The look of anger that swept of James' face passed quickly but Lily had seen it and felt a little stab of guilt. After all, she truly did want to him to be happy. That was the problem with still being in love with the git - she was constantly torn between wanting to hurt him and wanting to do the complete opposite.

"It's good you've found someone, I guess," James said, working hard to keep the anger out of his voice. After all, he'd had no choice in the matter of changing girlfriends, but Lily had decided to move on and this riled him more than words could express.

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Lily said, that sugary sweet smile back on her face, just to annoy the boy further. _I wonder how much more I can push him before he snaps?_ She wondered with a smirk. "Matt's really great, you know? He's taking good care of me," she added, with a pointed glare at her former boyfriend.

"Urgh! Why can't you just come out and say it? You're using him to try and make me jealous!" James said heatedly, earning a reproving look from Aberforth.

"What?" Lily scoffed with as much disdain as she could muster. "Don't be ridiculous, James!"

"You are, aren't you? Why else would you be rushing into this relationship with some guy you met at work?"

"He's not just some guy! He's kind, he's considerate, he's fancied me for ages so why the hell shouldn't I go out with him! You've never even met him so how can you judge me?" Lily was vaguely aware that she was shouting, and James was shouting right on back.

"You're right, I've never met him, so how do I know that he's good enough for you, Lily?"

"Oh, why would you even pretend to care about me, James?" Lily said, making an effort to lower her voice. "You left me for another woman. All the right you had to worry about me and my love life ended when you gave up on me," she said, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. James instantly felt bad for making Lily cry.

"Lily, I'm sorry... I didn't mean-"

"Save it, Potter, I've had enough. Okay? I wanted you to be happy with that woman. I wanted to get on with my life and just move forward but you're making it impossible!"

"Is that why you're with Matt, then?" he asked sharply.

"For fuck's sake, Potter," Lily yelled, slamming down her bottle. "I'm with Matt because he's a better man than you will ever be! I'm with him because I like him and he likes me and because, frankly, I'm sodding sick of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. I'm sick of it and, what's more, I'm sick. Of. YOU!"

James felt like he'd been slapped in the face - only Lily could ever make him feel so hurt.

"I still don't trust him! How can you even talk about bringing him to a meeting?"

"Oh, like you brought Jazz?" Lily spat. "You make me sick, you utter hypocrite! For all we know, she could be passing secrets to You-Know-Who himself!"

"Oi! _Silencio!_"

Sirius had burst out of the small meeting room, Cat and the rest of the group following behind him.

"You two, enough is enough!" Cat said. "We get that you hate each other now-" both parties looked as though they were about to refute the claim, but Cat gave them her death stare. "But you cannot go around yelling at each other, particularly when you start to mention stuff about the you know what."

James and Lily at least had the decency to look ashamed for their actions.

"You're just lucky no-one was here to witness that," Peter said. "You were being right loud."

"Can you please just apologise and go back inside?" Anna asked. "To be honest, you're both giving me a headache, and we all know that you don't hate each other and that you're both just a bit upset and adjusting to this whole new dynamic in you relationship. But, seriously, suck it up. Because we are all sick of it."

Lily stared at her, a little hurt.

"Well, Lils, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at him," she jerked her head at James. "But really, you were both being stupid just now."

"Come on, let's get back inside before the others get here," Remus suggested softly, pulling Lily to her feet and guiding her back inside, handing her his handkerchief as they went.

Fifteen minutes later, James and Lily were sat on opposite sides of the room, listening as Mad-Eye Moody gave them all yet another lecture on constant vigilance. Lily glanced across the room towards her messy-haired ex and felt guilt swelling in her chest. Of course, James was right. She was using Matt - not just to get back at James but to make herself feel better. And she knew that morally it was a bit off, but so far no-one had been hurt so it wasn't the end of the world. She had given in to her cruel side and she was truly sorry for it. James deserved better, even if he had been a complete and utter prick.

He looked up and caught her eye across the room. _Sorry_ he mouthed, and Lily gave him a small smile. _Me too_, she replied in kind. They then turned their attention back to the front of the room, where Dorcas Meadows and Benjy Fenwick were announcing their engagement to the room full of friends and colleagues. Lily clapped and cheered along with the rest of them, because she was truly happy for her friends, but she couldn't help but feel a little sad that she would never be as happy and in love as the two people at the front of the room. Not even with her friend Matt. Across the room, James was morosely thinking the same thing.

_

* * *

Dad, _

_It's always good to hear from you, but you should've been home ages ago! Moody told me that something came up, but it's so frustrating that he couldn't tell me what exactly. Anyway, as usual I hope you're safe and well and that you can come home soon!_

_I should probably have written back sooner, but things have been really hectic what with work and everything. And Lily and I are no longer together. _

_I don't want to go into the details, and it was my decision, not hers. But she didn't do anything wrong, it's just we weren't working anymore. And I met someone new - her name's Jasmine and we've been going out for a while now, actually. I suppose I went into details there, didn't I?_

_Anyway, I don't want you to be disappointed in me. I know how much you liked Lily. But we're still friends, I suppose, and she'll be coming to the Christmas ball, assuming we still have one. So you can catch up with her then. _

_Hopefully, I'll see you before Christmas, though, Dad. I miss you. _

_James._

* * *

Two days later, a handful of Order members received letters from Dumbledore asking them to come up to Hogwarts immediately. It was nearing seven thirty on the Saturday evening when Lily, Cat, Anna, Caradoc, Sirius, James and Peter arrived at the gates to the school. Remus was in recovery at St Mungo's as it was the day after his transformation.

"We could've gotten into the school and not had to wait at the gates if we'd taken one of the secret passages," Sirius muttered at James. No sooner had the words left his mouth than the gates swung open and the lot of them sprinted inside. Dumbledore met them in the Entrance Hall, halting them before they could go any further.

"The students are inside eating their dinner, I will therefore be brief. James, the mission you and mister Lupin were scheduled to go on has been bumped forwards to tonight."

"But it's just a surveillance mission. There aren't supposed to be any attacks," James said.

"I know, but either way the meeting has been moved forward and I need you to go there now."  
"But Moony's in hospital. It was the you know what last night," Sirius said.

"That's why I am asking Lily to accompany James tonight," Dumbledore said simply. James and Lily both looked utterly confused at this declaration.

"Why can't I go?" Sirius asked, a bit annoyed, even though he had is suspicions about Dumbledore's decision.

"I need you and Catherine to take a trip to Knockturn Alley. Seek out Severus Snape and bring him to the castle. You'll need disguises, of course," he said, handing them each a vial of a disgustingly familiar looking potion.

"Eurgh, Polyjuice," Sirius said, his nose turned up.

"Why do we need disguises, Professor?" Cat asked politely.

"Because Voldemort has eyes and ears everywhere. You would be putting yourselves and Severus in danger if you were to seek him out as yourselves."

"What about us three?" Anna asked on behalf of Caradoc and Peter.

"I need you, Peter, to find Jasmine Elliot and bring her to the castle. I need to know if the Ministry knows anything about the planned attacks."

"Why don't you ask Mad-Eye? Or any other employee, for that matter?" Lily asked in annoyance. What was so special about Jazz anyway?

"Her father works with the Minister and furthermore, she has absolutely no links to me or to Hogwarts and is therefore perfectly poised to garner information," Dumbledore replied simply. "Anna, Caradoc, I ask simply that you pay a visit to the Muggle parliament, seek out a man named Tobias Finch and bring him to the castle."

"Who?" the seven chorused in confusion.

"He's our man on the inside. A wizard. Not an Order member, but as good as. We needed someone in the Prime Minister's ear because, frankly, visits from the Minister always tend to frighten them."

Sirius managed a weak chuckle before departing with Cat. Caradoc, Anna and Peter followed, running back towards the gates where they' be able to disapparate.

Lily and James looked at one another, hoping that they'd survive each others company, let alone the potential attacks of Death Eaters. Dumbledore handed them a silver goblet.

"_Portus_," he said, and the goblet glowed blue. "This will take you to the designated meeting point. You know what you have to do. Get the names of the Death Eaters, and any information about the impending attacks, then get out. This is a one way portkey so you will have to apparate. Good luck," he said as the former Head Students took hold of the goblet and disappeared before his eyes.

Dumbledore sighed heavily. War was a terrible thing.

* * *

James and Lily landed amongst some thick scrub near a decrepit looking building at least thirty feet away.

"Come on, let's go," James said, bending low and hurrying towards the building, Lily close behind him.

They snuck carefully around the corner of the building, making sure they kept below the windowsills lest they be seen. Luckily for them this was just a surveillance mission. It was certainly dangerous - anything concerning the Death Eaters was bound to have its perils - but the pair felt comforted by the fact that there was no actual duelling involved. On the downside, the meeting inside the building had yet to begin and, as such, there was nothing to record to break the awkward silence stretching between the former partners.

"So, how's Matt, is it?" James asked in a low quiet voice.

"He's fine, thank-you," Lily replied, keeping her eyes focused on a point in the distant blackness rather than on James.

"You two are dating exclusively, aren't you?"

"Do you really think now is the best time to be quizzing me on my love life, Potter?" Lily hissed.

"Oh, so it's back to Potter," James mumbled to himself.

"Are you kidding me?" Lily exclaimed.

"Sorry, just saying-"

"You dumped me, remember? What did you expect? That we were going to be best friends?" she glared at him.

"Lily, I-"

"Shush, I think I hear something," she said, turning her ear towards the wall and muttering a charm to improve her hearing. Of course, she hadn't heard a thing, she just wanted an excuse to stop talking to James but after five minutes of silence James caught on and continued their conversation in hushed whispers.

"Lils, I said I was sorry," he said, a note of pleading in his voice. Lily had to use all her willpower not to snort loudly in derision.

"It was your choice, Potter. You fancied someone else, I get it."

"But, you don't get it-"

"You slept together! It hadn't even been a month since we broke up."

"I didn't want to-"

"Oh, of course you didn't, but Saint Potter can't say no to a girl with her knickers around her ankles."

"Lily-"

"Stop calling me that! I'm Evans and you're Potter."  
"You still don't get it!"

"You're right, I don't get why you can't leave me alone." she whispered, tears in her eyes.

"Because I _don't fancy her_! I had to break up with you, I had no choice!" his voice threatened to reach normal volume. He knew he had already said too much and didn't dare risk saying any more without Dumbledore's protection, so he did the only thing he could think of and leaned forward capturing Lily's lips with his own. He could feel tears of frustration leaking out of his eyes, but the feeling of Lily's soft lips seemed to wipe out all other thoughts. Lily felt herself giving into the kiss. Her lips parted and suddenly James' tongue was in her mouth, stroking and pressing and making her feel like she had at the start of the year - safe, happy, loved. He gently pushed her back against the wall, tangling a hand in her hair. The cold stones on her back seemed to bring her back to reality. She remembered what he had done to her, why they were here, the fact that they both had partners at the moment, and she shoved him back hard, tears stinging her eyes.

SLAP!

"How dare you," was all she said in a ragged whisper before turning her back on him and refocusing on their mission. _Get the names of the Death Eaters and get out. Get the names of the Death Eaters and get out. Get the names of the Death Eaters and get out._ She kept repeating the mantra in her head to stop her from thinking about that kiss. She felt revolted that she had cheated on her two-week boyfriend already and she felt disappointed in herself that she could be so easily lead by Potter. More importantly, she was frightened by the depths of the emotions that James had stirred up in her just with one kiss. It was in that moment that Lily decided taking the next step with Matt was a good idea.

James just stayed silent and Lily couldn't fathom what his thoughts were. As it was, James wasn't really sure what he felt either. Pain was definitely one thing, though. No one could deliver a slap across the face quite like Lily Evans.

"I'm so-"

"STOP TALKING!" Lily hissed. "We need to focus, here!"

"But Lily-"

"What was that? D'you hear that, Lestrange?" came a wheezy voice from somewhere nearby.

Lily looked at James with eyes wide in fear. That voice had not come from inside the building...

James motioned for Lily to follow him.

Bodies hunched over to avoid being seen, the pair hurried as quietly as they could around the corner of the building, pressing themselves against it in fear. Lily felt her hand slip instinctively into James and felt her heart rate calm down. She could now hear what was going on inside; this side of the building must've been where they were holding their meeting.

"It's up to you and Mulciber," said once voice.

"But McNair, it's Triscombe who always gets out of these jobs. What's he so afraid of, ey?"

"I have a facade to keep up at the Ministry," came a sneeringly familiar voice. "Just like Malfoy."

"What about Snape, then? Manages to fool Dumbledore, so why can't he go on a mission?"

Lily heard herself gasp before she could stop it. Snape really was a Death Eater? For all her accusations and hurtful words, she hadn't actually thought he had joined them. She thought he was just in with the wrong crowd at school.

"What was that?" came the same wheezy voice from not two minutes before.

"Are you hearing things?" said the second voice

"I say we check the perimeter, just in case," demanded the first voice.

James looked at Lily and nodded. Hands still clasped they continued in the same direction as before. Once they'd rounded another corner, they sunk down against the wall.

"Do you think they've stopped looking?" Lily whispered.

"No, I think we need to get out of here," James replied.

"Good idea, blood traitor!" cried a voice from the window. James looked up in horror at the face of Bellatrix Lestrange leering out the window. "Flint, Avery, they're over here!" she screeched.

"Run!" James yelled tugging Lily along behind him, trying to dodge the spells that the three Death Eaters were firing at them.

"Need to... Apparate," Lily puffed, about to turn on the spot when a streak of orange light hit her square in the middle of her back.

"No!" James shouted, as Lily's lifeless body fell forward and the Death Eaters descended upon them. He pulled her into his arms and turned on the spot, trying to take them home, realising all to late that there was a hand wrapped around his ankle as he turned...

* * *

**AN - ** 10 points to whoever can spot the Labor team line in this chapter. It's pretty straight forward, they only have one slogan. And I didn't mean to use it but election propaganda is seeping into my head because I watch far too much ABC Australia!

Also, Matt is based on my friend Matt. They don't look similar or share characteristics... but they share a name and a love of Doctor Who... FUNFACT!

So yes, please review if you have a spare minute. I know it's taken me freaking AGES to update but things have been busy and I bought a new mattress FUNFACT! also UNI went back which made me sad. One day I'll be free... But I'm rambling. Please Review.

OH, and if you haven't yet watch A Very Potter Sequel GO WATCH IT NOW! "Damn those wizard cops!" hahahahaha ah, genius!


	9. Finally, But Not Quite

**Disclaimer**: Standard 'I don't own HP' disclaimer applies.

**AN** - It's been ages. My Nanna died and I haven't been particularly inspired. Also Uni is a bitch and I got caught up in election fever... then hung parliament fever... then grand final fever. The fevers go on. Anyway, my apologies for keeping you all waiting - I really hope you haven't lost interest in this story which is my single most favourite way to procrastinate other than reading fanfic or playing free tetris FUNFACT!

Onwards - Read and Review - and ENJOY :D

* * *

**Last** **time**:

_"Run!" James yelled tugging Lily along behind him, trying to dodge the spells that the three Death Eaters were firing at them._

_"Need to... Apparate," Lily puffed, about to turn on the spot when a streak of orange light hit her square in the middle of her back._

_"No!" James shouted, as Lily's lifeless body fell forward and the Death Eaters descended upon them. He pulled her into his arms and turned on the spot, trying to take them home, realising all to late that there was a hand wrapped around his ankle as he turned..._

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Finally but Not Quite**

Although James had been trying to return 'home' the first place he had thought of was not the flat in Diagon Alley, but his childhood home - the Potter Mansion. This was a good thing, in one respect, because it meant that he hadn't brought Death Eaters inside the protective wards of the Marauders' flat. On the downside, he hadn't quite made it to safety, as the hand tugging at James' ankle had broken his concentration and the three of them had ended up in the dense forest bordering the Potters' property.

As he landed and felt oxygen returning to his lungs, James was aware of three things, the first being that in his haste he had managed to splinch himself ever so slightly and was missing a chunk out of his left leg. Gasping in pain, he realised that Lily was still unconscious in his arms, though her eyes seemed to be rolling in their sockets behind her closed lids.

"Oh, no, Lily. Lily, wake up!" he muttered, quickly lowering her to the ground. He swept the hair off her forehead and checked her pulse just underneath her jaw. It was weak, but it was there and James sighed in relief.

It was then that he noticed the third, and arguably most important thing - that he and Lily were not alone in the forest.

"On your feet, Potter," said Avery, pointing the tip of his wand threateningly at James' chin. Glaring at his opposition's boot-clad feet, James rose slowly to standing, hoping that Lily staying unconsciously out of the way.

"_Expelliarmus_," Avery said, and James felt his wand leave his back pocket. It was in that split second that he knew he had to act or the battle would be lost before it had even begun.

James pulled his arm back then swung hard, planting his fist into the unsuspecting Death Eater's face with a sickening crunch. Both wands flew from Avery's hands and James scrambled to pick them up in the confusion.

Avery had other plans, pushing James face first into the mud with his shoe and grabbing blindly to get to the wands first. James lurched forward and rugby-tackled Avery, the pair rolling over into a muddy ditch. Somehow, in all the rough-and-tumble, Avery had managed to wrap his thick arm around James' neck, locking him in and slowly cutting off his oxygen. The Gryffindor really began to panic as spots started to burst in front of his eyes as he struggled to get air. With all the effort left in him, he grabbed at the nearest wand and shot some red sparks into the sky, hoping against hope that his father was home and, by some miracle, looking out the window of his study for he didn't have the energy for a stronger spell.

Avery smirked as James' struggling began to subside, eventually going limp in his arms. The Death Eater wasted no time in heaving the unconscious boy next to the motionless red-head, grabbing their wands and putting them in a body bind. He was just contemplating whether or not to snap their wands in two or to keep them as trophies, when he thought he heard a noise behind him. He turned around, prepared to fire off a stunner or two but, unfortunately for him, was rendered motionless by an undetected stunning spell from behind him.

David Potter stepped out from the undergrowth, a look of utter contempt on his face as he glared at Avery. From the surrounding bushes, the Potters' house-elves, Tilly, Ted and Bob, emerged, rushing towards their unconscious master lying in the mud.

"Ted, Bob, can you please take Avery up to the house?" David asked quietly, turning to release his son from the body-bind curse. With a pop, the elves were gone, as was the Death Eater.

"Dad," James said groggily, "Lily?"

David glanced at the still-unconscious girl lying next to James, frowning when he realised that she wasn't coming to.

"Tilly, take her up to the house," David said, conjuring a stretcher and levitating James onto it.

"I can walk," James mumbled, struggling to get up, but his father's hand pushed him back down again.

"You need to rest first, then you can tell me what happened," he said sternly, leading them out of the forest and towards the Potter mansion.

* * *

Peter did wonder why he had been sent to find Jasmine of all people, after all, he knew lots of people who worked for the Ministry that would have no ties to Dumbledore. All Peter cared for at that minute was finding Jasmine, telling her to see Dumbledore, and going home to eat something. He was craving coconut cake at that particular point in time. Peter made the logical assumption that the girl would be at her room in the Leaky Cauldron, where she'd been lodging since auror training began, so he apparated to Diagon Alley and made his way back towards the wizarding tavern.

_At least it's close to home_, he thought to himself. _I can get this over and done with then get to that cake._

"Hey, Tom," Peter smiled at the bartender.

"Peter Pettigrew, just the man I was looking for," Tom replied. "I was wondering if you could possibly do me a favour and take these to the post office tomorrow morning?" he said, producing a small sack full of parcels and letters. "Only, I'm short staffed at the moment and what's-her-name's sick and I have so many things to do-"

"Yeah, sure," Peter said with a tight smile, "If you can help me out?"

Tom raised an eyebrow and gave the boy a shrewd smile.

"I just need to know what room Jasmine Elliot is staying in. I have a message for her from Dumbledore," Peter said.

"She's on the second floor in room 11, but I don't think she'll want to be disturbed," he said awkwardly.

Peter just frowned.

"She's, err, got company," Tom said.

"Thanks, mate," Peter said, still frowning as he took the sack of mail. "I'll just be a minute."

As Peter climbed the stairs, he wondered what Tom could have meant. Surely company didn't mean _company_. Jazz was dating James and as far as Peter was concerned, no girl in her right mind would choose someone else over James (Peter couldn't help the hero worship...).

_Knock, knock, knock_.

"Jasmine? Are you in there?" Peter called out. He thought he could hear rustling noises from the other side of the door. "Hello?" he called again.

Feeling a bit rude, and knowing that his mother would not approve if she knew he was entering a lady's bedroom without being invited, Peter turned the handle and pushed the door open.

He was surprised by the sight that met his eyes - Jasmine, scantily clad in lilac lingerie, looking every bit the caught-out girlfriend, standing in front of an unfamiliar - though rather buff - man who was wearing only an unbuttoned shirt and y-fronts. Had he not felt so rude for intruding, Peter thought he may well have launched into a vitriolic diatribe about how his friend James deserved better and Jasmine was nothing more than a lying cheater and... Well, Peter ran out of things he thought he would've said, which is why it was probably better that he turned on his heel and left. He decided to return to the apartment and wait for James to come back from the mission he'd been sent on, then he'd give him the bad news. _On the plus side_, Peter mused as he descended the staircase, _at least James'll know I'm on his side.  
_

_

* * *

_

Lily awoke to find herself staring at a vaguely familiar ceiling, every muscle and bone in her body aching and a bitter taste in her mouth. Blinking dazedly, she turned her head to the side and realised that she wasn't alone. James' house elf Tilly was holding a bowl filled with liquid and a damp cloth and was now eying Lily warily.

"Is Miss Lily feeling better?" the elf squeaked, shuffling from one foot to the other.

Lily managed a half nod before croaking out "James."

Tilly understood and left the room, leaving the bowl on the small bedside table. Lily dully noted that she was in the guest room she had stayed in when she and James had visited Mr Potter at Easter time, before she closed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened.

She and James had been hiding from the Death Eaters, listening to their plots. Then they had kissed. Lily frowned, not wanting to remember the kiss because it hurt her more than all her physical wounds. Then they were running, then... Nothing. _I must have been knocked out by a curse_, Lily thought. She could vaguely remember hearing shouting and her name...

"Lily?"

The girl tried not to let her heart rate get too quick at the sound of _that_ voice. She opened her eyes to see James limping into the room on a pair of muggle crutches.

"What happened?" she croaked, her eyes locked on his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked at precisely the same moment.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I can't feel my fingers or toes, though."

He handed her the glass of sparkling blue potion that was on the table next to the couch she was lying on, which she gratefully accepted, feeling her throat warm up pleasantly.

"Hold out your hands," he instructed, taking the bowl of warm liquid and dipping the towel in it.

"What is that?" Lily asked.

"Essence of Murtlap oil," James replied, "It's good at soothing cuts and bruises so maybe it'll help restore feeling in your fingers," he shrugged. "But I'm no healer." Lily smiled.

"Thanks," she said, "That should work. But what happened before?"

"They heard us, back at the stake-out," he said. "We were about to disapparate, when one of them hit you with this curse-" his voice broke. He put down the bowl and leant back in his seat.

"James, it's fine. I'm still here, aren't I? Besides, you're the one on crutches," she said.

"Oh, right, that," he said sheepishly. "Don't tell Sirius, because he'd never let me live it down, but I, err, sort of splinched myself."

Lily couldn't help but grin, even though it hurt to do so. "You manage to turn into a bloody great stag once a month but can't keep yourself in one piece getting from A to B? Pathetic, Potter."

"Yeah, well, having a Death Eater attached to your ankle does tend to throw one's balance," he joked.

"What?" Lily gasped.

"You don't remember that bit? Of course you don't, you were unconscious," James said, mentally slapping his forehead. "Avery came back with us and made me splinch myself. That's how we ended up in the forest near the house. He got me in a headlock and all. Nearly popped my head off with his bicep - he's a strong bastard, I'll give him that."

"Where is he now?"

"I sent out an SOS of sorts and luckily Dad was home to answer the call. Avery's in the library, body-bound, and Dad's interrogating him. We were seriously lucky that he was home. I don't know what would've happened..." he trailed off. There was a silence as the pair pondered how their night could've ended up.

Lily hoisted herself up on the bed where Tilly had left her, so that she could think more clearly.

"I'm sorry I gave us away," she said quietly. "I shouldn't have been surprised that Snape's a Death Eater. I guess I just didn't want to believe it..."

"I know. You didn't want to believe the worst of him, I get it," James smiled comfortingly. "He was your friend."

"Yeah, a long time ago," she sighed.

"Besides, it wasn't just you, Lils. It's my fault, really. I just wouldn't let our conversation drop. I couldn't let it go... I couldn't just let _us_ go-" he said, looking meaningfully at her.

"Do you really think now is the best time to talk about this?" Lily said uncomfortably. "Shouldn't we discuss what we learnt from their meeting or... Or, I don't know? Anything else?"

"When would be a good time to talk about it, though?" James said desperately. "The problem isn't going to go away just because we ignore it. Not talking about it nearly got us killed tonight, you know."

"What problem? There's no problem," Lily argued. "We're not dating anymore, we've both got partners - I fail to see a problem!"

"I'm still in love with you, Lily," James said, looking at the floor.

Lily was dumbfounded. She couldn't even begin to think about how to respond to this. So James continued his monologue.

"Tonight was even worse than the other attacks we've been through because if anything had happened to you, you wouldn't have known how I feel about you. You could've died thinking that I don't love you, but I do, Lily. I need you to believe me."

Lily wasn't surprised to find that her cheeks were wet with tears.

"Please, Lils," James said, taking one of her hands in his, "Please believe me."

Lily opened her mouth without really knowing what she was going to say. All she knew was she didn't have enough energy to be mad.

"You're, you're just in shock, James," she said, looking at him with tear-filled eyes. "Don't say things like that. It's not fair on me."

"I'm not in shock! I, bloody hell... I've been lying to you, to everyone. I need to tell you the truth but Dumbledore doesn't have a solution yet and I can't afford to put you in danger. But then the Death Eaters saw us together tonight, and He'll know soon and then we'll really be in trouble. I may as well just tell you but-"

"James, calm down! You need sleep or medical attention or something," Lily said frowning. "You aren't making any sense."

"What's going on in here?" came David Potter's voice from the doorway. "Lily, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Mr Potter. I think James needs-"

"I need to tell you both the truth, is what I need," James said, getting quite agitated now.

"I don't understand," David said.

"Neither of you do, but please, Dad, I just need a moment alone with Lily. I have to explain something to her."

"James, you don't know what you're on about-" Lily argued.

"If I might interrupt," David said calmly, "I've sent word to Dumbledore of what happened and why a Death Eater is currently trussed up in my library. I'm sure he'll be here as soon as possible, despite the fact that it's three in the morning, so I suggest you two work out whatever it is you need to work out so that you can be ready when he gets here." He stood to leave the room.

"Listen, Lily. I was trying to tell you before. I didn't break up with you because I didn't love you anymore, I did it because I was trying to keep you safe. I didn't have any choice."

"Are we really going to talk about our failure of a relationship _again_?" Lily sighed. "Haven't we talked about it enough?"

"It was the day after you helped in the arrest of those Death Eaters at St Mungo's," James ploughed on. "I got a letter from Voldemort telling me to break up with you."

"What? James, that's just ridiculous," Lily said, forgetting her efforts to keep her blood pressure low for she was now quite mad.

"I know, I know. It's sounds insane, but it's true. If I hadn't burned the letter, I would show you."

"And why would You-Know-Who care so much about our relationship anyway?" she scoffed. "He's the leader of a worldwide anti-muggle campaign - why are we so special?"

"You mean why are _you_ so special?" James countered. "The only reason he wanted us to break up was so that your heart would be broken and you'd no longer be a threat to his efforts."

Lily snorted derisively.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Lils, we've been the focus of a few of his attacks in the past. Personal letters ringing any bells?" he added. Lily paused. That was true - Voldemort had been quite clear in his dislike for the pair, but did he really have a personal vendetta against them?

"Be that as it may, why wouldn't you have just told me this when you got the letter?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes.

"He would have known if we hadn't broken up and no offence, Lils, but you're a shocking actress. You couldn't have kept this a secret."

"So you preferred to break my heart than to trust me and hope that together everything'd be okay?"

"For just a minute can you please just stop with the accusations and listen to what I'm saying to you? Lily, I love you. I never, for a minute, stopped loving you. I was just trying to keep you safe. Isn't that what matters?"

"And what about Jasmine?" she asked sadly. "You loved me so much you had to date another woman, is that it? Oh, Christ, now I sound like a character out of a poorly written soap opera!" she cried, annoyed at herself for sounding so pathetic, but more annoyed at James for putting her in this situation.

James sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Sirius thought that I needed a believable cover story. He said just after we broke up that you wouldn't take things lying down. And he was right. You came over to the flat that day and demanded to know everything. So I lied. I made up having a girlfriend and asked Jazz out after you left. I hate myself for it, I do, but what else could I do?" James hated how pleading he sounded. It shouldn't be like this at all. Lily should just be able to understand - he'd done it for her. "And, yes, I _know_ it sounds completely daft, but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Honestly, I wish we were normal, I do, but we're not. Voldemort wants us dead."

Lily wasn't sure what to think. She knew she still loved James. It didn't take a genius to work that much out. And she supposed his story made sense... She objected to being left out of the decision, though. How could she trust that James wouldn't make similar choices in the future, whether they be for her safety or not?

She was about to tell him as much when he interrupted her train of thought.

"Lils, I just need to know one thing. I just have to know and I need you to be honest with me..." he ran his hand through his hair again out of nervous frustration. "Do you still have feelings for me? Any at all?"

Without so much as thinking, Lily nodded, feeling the tears falling off her cheeks. James reached out his hand and wiped away an errant tear, cupping Lily's face. "Really?" he whispered.

Lily's eyes flickered up to meet his. "I can't help it," she hiccupped with a small smile. James' face was suddenly radiantly happy, his crooked smile almost too big. Lily placed her hand on his wrist, leaning into his touch and letting herself cry. It was almost too good to be true and she wondered briefly if she was still asleep.

"I love you, Lily Evans. I love you so much," James said, trying very hard not to cry himself. He pulled her into a hug, cradling the back of her head with one hand.

_I love you, too_, she thought, burying her face in his neck and just breathing in the moment. It was almost surreal.

After a good ten minutes they pulled away; Lily's tears had subsided and James' gouged leg was starting to cause him discomfort. Lily moved over on the bed so that James could stretch out next to her. As he wiggled, trying to get comfortable, he winced slightly.

"I could fix that for you if I had my wand," she said, nodding at his leg.

"Oh, right, I knew I had something to give back to you," James said, pulling Lily's wand out of his coat pocket. "Lucky Dad got to them before Avery had a chance to snap them in two."

"Shouldn't you maybe tell your Dad about everything?" Lily said, setting to work with James' bloody and disgusting injury. "It might interest him to know that Voldemort is targeting us."

"I'll tell him later. I've been apart from you for too long and I refuse to leave your presence from a moment longer than strictly necessary," James said matter-of-factly.

"You know, things haven't changed," Lily said quietly, setting down her wand. "Voldemort still has some sort of sick vendetta against us, Death Eaters have seen us together. And, you know, you lied to me. Whatever trust we had is shot to hell and I'm not sure we can get it back."

"But we love each other - that's all we need," James said simply, playing with Lily's hair, but she batted away his hand.

"James, it's not that simple. I can't just forgive you for the past few months. You put me through hell," she said, dropping her gaze.

"But I explained!" James said, starting to panic. "I didn't have a choice-"

"You always have a choice. You could have talked to me-" Lily said, feeling her red-head temper taking over - which was a pity, really, because she had quite enjoyed just being with James again, like they used to be.

"Lily, they were threatening to _kill _you. I had to put your safety first," James said. "What is so difficult to understand about that?"

"I would prefer to have been in the loop on this one considering how it was my life at risk here. And you know what? I would rather stand against them, knowing that my life is in danger, rather than being hidden away having had my heart ripped out and stomped upon by the person I trusted most in the world," Lily said.

"You know now," James replied, knowing it was a weak argument. "Learn to trust me again."

"It's not that easy!" Lily cried, throwing her hands up in frustration. "It took a lot to let you in in the first place. James Potter, the arrogant bully, who had started to act a bit more mature. I gave you a chance and I fell for you. I loved you with more of my heart than I have ever loved anyone and then you turned around and confirmed my worst fears by dropping me for another woman. Regardless of why you did it - and I understand your reasoning, I do, James - but regardless, things can't automatically go back to the way they were just because I know the truth."

"But we can try, can't we?" James pleaded. "We can't just give up. We can't just let Voldemort win."

Lily sighed heavily.

"Yeah, we can try. But I just need some time... To process, you know?" she said, looking at her sort-of, future boyfriend.

"I really don't want to take time, but if that's what it'll take to convince you that I still love you..." James replied.

"Well, the Death Eaters saw us together tonight, so I suppose we still have a virtual death warrant on us and no way to avoid it."

"We'd be stronger together, wouldn't we?" James wheedled.

"Nice try, Potter," Lily smiled in spite of herself. "I just have to sort some things, okay?"

"Lily, the past few months have been hell for me, too. I hate the thought of having to be apart from you for another second... But knowing that we are going to give things another go - that you're willing to move on from this - makes the waiting worth while."

"Ah well, it's good to know you haven't lost that cheese-y romantic personality since we've been apart," Lily joked.

"For your ears only, Lils," James replied with a smile.

"I wonder when Dumbledore will get here?" Lily mused, unconsciously resting her head on James' chest.

"Shouldn't be too long," carried a voice from the hallway. "We were just at Hogwarts and he sent us here."

"Padfoot?" James called out in confusion.

"The one and only," Sirius said, walking into the room with Cat in tow.

"You two look cosy," Cat noted, raising an eyebrow.

"We have just been attacked by Death Eaters and you wonder why we're hugging," Lily said.

"Attacked? What! I thought it was a surveillance mission?" Sirius said, sitting on the end of the bed next to Cat.

"It was until we were, err, discovered," Lily said.

"And then one of them followed us back here."

"Shit, who? And where is he?"

"Avery is in the library, safe and sound," David said walking into the room.

"David!" Sirius said jovially, giving his surrogate father a bear hug. David grinned broadly, ruffling Sirius' hair.

"Sirius, it's been too long," he smiled. "And Catherine, nice to see you. Still spending time with this riffraff?"

"Can't get rid of him," Cat smiled. "No matter what I do, he follows me around like a lost puppy." Everyone except David chuckled quietly at the in-joke.

"But, back to the matter at hand," Sirius said. "You two _do _look cosy."

"We're not," Lily said. "Back together, I mean."

"But neither are you ripping each other's heads off," Sirius noted.

"Did you tell her?" Cat asked, before she could stop herself.

"You knew?" James cried, looking angrily at his best friend.

"She got it out of me! I'm sorry!" Sirius pleaded.

"She knew what?" David said.

"Why didn't you say anything to me, Cat?" Lily asked, somewhat hurt.

"Lils, you know why. You would've been in terrible danger if anyone found out. That's the only reason I didn't rip Potter a new one when I found out what he'd done. He has his heart in the right place."

"I can't believe you told Cat," James said, still shocked at Sirius' lack of restraint.

"Would somebody please explain to me what is going on!" David demanded in his booming auror-voice.

"Come on, David. I think you'll need a cup of tea for this story," Cat said, steering the man out of the room, more to avoid Lily's hurt looks than anything.

"I'll come with-" Sirius began.

"Not so fast!" James said. "Stop, turn, explain."

"Mate, there's nothing to explain," Sirius begged.

Lily remained silent, looking from one boy to the other.

"Sirius, I had to give up the girl I love to keep her safe and you jeopardise that by telling your girlfriend all about it?"

"It was tearing us apart. She couldn't understand why I was taking your side when you appeared to be clearly in the wrong. We weren't talking. I wasn't going to tell her, but when I did I made sure that there was no-one listening and no-one could find out. I promise you, Prongs, I was careful. I wouldn't do anything to put Lily in danger!"

James was still mad, but how could he argue with his best friend? It wasn't Sirius' fault that James had let him in on the secret, after all.

"Sirius, I hear it was your bright idea to get James to date Jazz?" Lily said cooly.

Oh, that was how.

"Lily, I'm sorry, but you're stubborn as when you want to be and I didn't want anything to happen to you either. You're my friend, too, you know. And that was the only way I could think to convince you. Don't be mad at Prongs - I pretty much set the whole thing up. It was all my fault and I take full responsibility for that part of this whole mess," he said, hanging his head in shame.

"It's okay, Sirius. I get it," Lily said. "Don't worry about it."

"He gets forgiven?" James asked in disbelief.

"He didn't break my heart, remember?" Lily replied shortly.

"I see things aren't exactly back to normal," Sirius observed.

"How very perceptive of you," James said.

"May I inquire as to why?" Sirius said.

"No you may not," James said.

"We need time," Lily said. "But can we stop talking about this? We need to focus on what we learned on our mission."

She and James righted themselves on the bed, so that they were both upright, leaning against the headboard, facing Sirius. They then recounted, as best they could, the conversation they had overheard, getting Sirius to act as scribe.

"I'm just going to go freshen up," Lily said when they were done, realising that in spite of the Potters' elves' efforts, she still had mud caked behind her ears and under her finger nails. And generally, she found she felt quite scummy. Instead of using the en-suite bathroom she decided she needed to put some distance between her and Potter, so she chose the bathroom in the hallway.

Staring at her dishevelled reflection in the mirror, she realised that she wasn't really sure how she felt.

Relieved? Betrayed? Scared?

It was only just now that the reality of the situation was sinking in. Voldemort had made a personal threat on her life. And fuck, if that wasn't frightening, what was? Though she stood by her decision to give it time, she could see where James was coming from. Wouldn't she have done the same thing for him had she been in his shoes? She wouldn't risk his life for the world.

_But that doesn't change the fact that he broke my heart and lied to me_, Lily sighed.

"Eurgh!" she groaned, splashing water on her face and accidentally overdoing it and soaking her shirt in her agitation. She sat on the lid of the toilet, resting her head in her hands. Never, not even when she'd been under actual attack, had Lily hated the war so much.

* * *

While Lily was upstairs in her state of emotional turmoil, more guests had turned up at the Potters'. Dumbledore had arrived with a man in crisp black suit, along with Anna and Caradoc, just as James and Sirius had finished documenting the evening's earlier events.

"Professor," Sirius said, getting to his feet, "Finally!"

Dumbledore smiled shrewdly, amused by his former student's impatience.

"I do apologise, Sirius, for keeping you waiting. May I introduce Tobias Finch, personal assistant to the Prime Minister. I've brought him here to brief him on the information we've gathered thus far."

The suited man, who had a weathered face and bountiful sprinklings of grey through his neatly coiffed hair, smiled tightly before Dumbledore suggested that they move their meeting into the dining room as they would need more space.

"Ah, Albus, just the man I was hoping to see," David said, entering the room. "I wonder if I might speak to you and Mr Finch for a moment?"

"We'll go and check on Lily," James said, Sirius following him towards the staircase.

"We'll come. I need to speak to Cat anyway," Anna said, grabbing Caradoc's hand and yanking him along.

"Bit weird, Dumbledore bringing that muggle here of all places, isn't it," Sirius remarked after the door was shut behind them. "I mean, you guys were just gathering information. We didn't even know if we'd get any concrete evidence or dates or times or places."

"Yeah, I guess so," James replied. In all honesty, his thoughts were no longer on the mission. Once he had recounted everything that had happened, he had put it out of his head - all his thoughts were now focused on the red head on the third floor.

"And what was the deal with you and getting Snape up to the castle?" Caradoc mused. "Odd, that."

James' brain kicked into gear when he heard that name, anger bubbling to the surface.

"That asshole is the reason we were discovered in the first place," he growled. "We overheard the Death Eaters talking about how he's in Dumbledore's good books and can get information and Lily's reaction gave us away."

"We had no idea why he wanted Snape, but we couldn't find him where Dumbledore said he'd be," Sirius said, frowning. "And now we know. He was probably off doing something for You-Know-Who, wasn't he?"

"But what? You didn't find anything else out from the mission, did you?" Caradoc asked.

"No, just a few names. Nothing concrete. Some people sounded familiar - like they were names I'd heard at Hogwarts but..." James trailed off, frowning. "Listen, I need to speak to Lily. I can't think about this right now." And he ran back off up the stairs.

"What's going on there?" Anna asked.

"It's a really long story," Sirius said, getting a bit sick of having to explain it. "Voldemort made James break up with Lily because she's a threat to his work and because he has a personal vendetta against the two of them, probably because David is a Head Auror as much as the fact that Lily and James are practically the faces of the resistance movement, what with their Headship and former golden-couple status-" he took a deep breath. "And anyway, Lily just found out about it and is still mad at James for not telling her and whatnot and there's a chance they'll get back together but I'm not really sure what's happening and frankly all I really care about at the moment is Moony suffering alone because it's a full moon, and Snape because I want to wring his disgusting Slytherin neck."

"Right. Well," Caradoc said, sharing a look with Anna.

"Is there anything we can do?" Anna asked.

"Nah, I think we just need to wait for Dumbledore to give us instructions," Sirius sighed. "I'm just a bit sick of having to wait around. Prongs was nearly killed tonight, and Lily. And if I'd just gone with him like I should've we could've got more information and we could have Snivellus in Azkaban along with the rest of the Death Eater slime... I'm just bloody sick of it."

"I'm sure we'll be able to do something proper soon," Anna placated. "We know they're definitely planning something big and chances are we won't be able to stop it from happening. The best we can do is cope with the damage and make sure not too many people get hurt. You're almost bound to get a shot at duelling Snape when that time comes," she said, without even thinking. It was all so surreal to think that their former classmates were Death Eaters out to kill actual people.

"Yeah, listen, I need a drink. I'm going to the kitchen - care to join?" Sirius asked.

The two acquiesced and followed Sirius to the kitchen where they met up with Cat and took some shots of Firewhiskey to calm their nerves.

* * *

Upstairs, James probably could've used an entire vat of the alcohol to deal with his nerves caused by Lily. She really had no idea what she was doing to the guy. He didn't know how much simpler he could put it than he had to do what he'd done or she'd be dead. Fact.

The frightening reality that now the Death Eaters had seen them together and that his efforts and suffering may now have all been for nothing didn't bear thinking about.

"Lily?" he knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"James, I really don't feel like talking to you right now," she replied in a thick voice. James knew instantly that she'd been crying. _I don't care what she says_, he thought, _I'm going in._

"Lils?"

She was sitting on the tiled floor, leaning against the bathtub with her knees drawn up to her chest. Although she'd said she was going to freshen up, James noticed that she still had some dirt smudged on her arms and her hair was a bird's nest, probably from running her hands through it.

"Urgh, why don't you ever do what you're told?" Lily said in annoyance.

"Marauder, remember?" James joked. The lack of response from Lily made him sigh. "Anyway, I just wanted to check on you."

"Well, you've checked on me. I'm fine," Lily replied, her voice breaking and giving her away.

"Please tell me what's wrong," James urged, squatting down in front of the girl. "I just want to help."

"Don't you think you've done enough, James?" Lily said, not looking at him. James flinched internally.

"Lily, I know I've upset you, but you said you'd think about it. Give us time. So what's really bothering you?"

Lily pulled a hand through her hair, absently trying to detangle the knots.

"It just feels so hopeless," she said, looking up at him.

"I know it feels that way at the moment, but we'll get through it," James said soothingly. "Together. You, me and the rest of the Order. We can get through this."

"I'm scared," she whispered. And that was all it took to get James to wrap her in his arms and hold her tightly, mumbling reassuring words against her hair.

After a moment, he pulled back, holding her away from him so he could look her in the eye.

"You would be mad not to be scared, Lily. We are putting ourselves in danger all the time. But that's just how it is."

"Was that supposed to cheer me up?" she snuffled, half-smiling.

"Of course!" James joked. "Didn't it work?"

Lily chuckled, but then sobered, looking back at James. "It's just... I don't want to be scared. I want to be brave and courageous and be able to laugh about it like you and Sirius and Cat."

"Lily, bravery isn't the absence of fear. It just means you think there's something more important than fear."

Lily raised her eyebrows, impressed by James' insightful statement. "I read it somewhere, once," James explained, guessing what the look on her face meant. "But seriously, Lily, me and Sirius and Cat - we get scared too. We're not invincible! I'm sure I've told you on more than one occasion that my greatest fear is that something will happen to you and I won't be around to save you. I hate the thought that something could happen to Sirius or my dad or the others, but our fear is what makes us human. The fact that we can admit that we're scared and that we keep going on fighting anyway, well, that just proves that we're Gryffindors at heart, doesn't it? It's awful that Voldemort's out to get us but we have the advantage of something worth fighting for, don't we?"

He caught the look on Lily's face - a mixture of incredulity and admiration - and stopped short, blushing. "Sorry, didn't mean to go overboard there. Got a bit carried away..."

"You know, you could write inspirational speeches for a living," Lily noted. James chuckled quietly, more to fill the silence than anything.

"I take it that means you agree that fear isn't necessarily a weakness?" he asked.

"Yeah, I suppose," Lily sighed.

"Right, well let's hear what Dumbledore has to say before he leaves so we can go to sleep. It's nearly four in the morning!"

He held out his hand and helped her to her feet, allowing Lily to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

"Oh, sweet Lord, I look disgusting!" Lily cried. But before she could even start to finger-comb her hair, James steered her out the door with a placating, "You look how we all feel, don't worry about it." Which earned him a slap on the arm.

* * *

By four-thirty in the morning, Dumbledore had finished his private consultation with David and Mr Finch and invited the rest of the anxious people in the Potter mansion to join them in the dining room. James sat next to his father at the oval table, with Sirius on his other side, followed by Cat, Lily, Anna and Caradoc next to Mr Finch. The Potters' head house elf hovered nervously in the background.

"As I'm sure you all know by now, this is Mr Tobias Finch, right hand man to the muggle Prime Minister of Britain," Dumbledore said. "Tobias please meet James, Sirius, Catherine, Lily and you've met Anna and Caradoc. These are our newest and youngest recruits to the Order of the Phoenix."

Finch inclined his head but still didn't say a word.

"Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, Mr Finch plays a very important role in muggle-wizard relations by keeping the Prime Minister in the loop about You-Know-Who's campaign. The fact that he has no official ties to our ministry or, officially, to the Order, means that he is less likely to become a target of the Death Eaters. However, you will understand that his safety is as important as that of any of our members and, as such, we will be organising guard duty for him. Because he isn't yet a person of interest for the other side, I think individual patrolling will suffice."

"I want you all to know that I think what you're doing is really very admirable and of the utmost importance in terms of winning this fight, and I appreciate your work trying to gather information tonight," he said, looking at Lily and James.

"Speaking of which, we now have some names to go on but no further knowledge of future attacks," Dumbledore said. "Which makes our next moves very difficult. I will be holding a proper Order meeting tomorrow evening when we can go over what we've got, but I'm afraid more surveillance is necessary. Now, however, things will be more dangerous as they have confirmation that we've been watching them-"

"Sorry, Professor," Lily interrupted, looking ashamed. "It was my fault."

"Lily, the fault belongs to no-one and it was inevitable that this would happen. And please, call me Albus," Dumbledore said with a kind smile. "Now, I'm certain that you would all like to return to your beds and rest before tomorrow's meeting. Anna, unfortunately, I have to ask that you escort Mr Finch back to London. You will be on guard duty until 9am when I will send another member to relieve you. Lily, James, may I speak with you a minute?"

The two quickly said their goodbyes to Anna before moving to stand with Dumbledore by the empty fireplace at the end of the dining room. Up close, Lily noted that his forehead looked more lined and his eyes less bright than the last time she'd seen him. Without preamble, Dumbledore addressed James.

"Am I to gather that Lily is aware of Lord Voldemort's threat on her life?"

James nodded, glancing at Lily who was still paler than usual.

"And am I to assume that the two of you have reconciled?"

"Actually, sir, we're still working on that," Lily said awkwardly. Dumbledore's brows rose minutely, but he gave no other sign of surprise at the news.

"Well, I'd like to talk to you about arranging protection, considering the nature of the threat and its' implications now that his Death Eaters have seen the two of you working together... And probably heard you, James, trying to explain things to Lily."

"I am so sorry for that, Lils," James said. Lily just shrugged - she had reached her saturation point and had had enough of talking, excuses and apologies included.

"I'm not going to pretend that if you had continued with the charade and allowed me time to organise sufficient protection for Lily it wouldn't have been easier," Dumbledore said. This certainly caught Lily's attention - Dumbledore had known about all this? "But what's done is done and, in hindsight, it was my choice to send you together on the mission, so the fault is more mine than yours."

"If only I'd kept my big mouth shut, none of this would've happened," James said, running a hand through his hair for the umpteenth time that night. Lily cast a sidelong glance at him, confused. Dumbledore had told him to sit tight and do nothing. Dumbledore had advised against telling Lily the truth...

"We cannot live our lives pondering what may have been. If only-s and what ifs only serve to frustrate the questioner," the great wizard continued.

"What about this protection, then?" James asked. "What can we do?"

"Truthfully, not a lot, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said, absently scratching behind his ear. "For the time being, you're protected by the wards surrounding the mansion so there's no immediate concern for your wellbeing."

"We can't hide out here forever-"

"If you'll allow me to continue, Lily," Dumbledore interrupted, slightly amused. "I do not think that the two of you are in any _immediate_ danger from the Dark Lord."

"Not to be rude, Albus, but were you listening earlier?" James demanded. "He made a personal threat and now his Death Eaters have seen us together. And we have one of theirs ready to hand over to the Ministry. Isn't that motive enough for him to come after us?"

"On the contrary, I think if he was going to harm you he would have done so by now," Dumbledore said bluntly. "I taught Tom when he was at Hogwarts and while I cannot understand his... _obsession_ with blood purity, I know his character. He has bigger, more important things on his mind than two who _might_ pose a threat to his work - as was witnessed in the sheer size of the meeting tonight. Something else is coming. You need to understand that mind games are one of the few things that Tom takes pleasure in. But I feel that, now that he has made the pair of you miserable, he has achieved his short-term goal and has turned his efforts to something else."

"So you think it's all just a game to him?" Lily asked, a look of disgust on his face.

"Not entirely. I think that you both show potential to be a big threat to his cause and he wanted to take measures to prevent you from operating to your fullest extent. But his main aim was to cause discord and disunity. You must understand that Lord Voldemort likes to play with people. He believes that those who are inferior to him - those that are muggles, or half-bloods, or people who don't share his views - they are merely pawns for him to play with. He is amused by their pain and despair. Why do you think he singled you two out of all his known opponents?"

"Because we pissed him off last time we met?" James muttered.

"Because you were in love," Dumbledore said, his words leaving Lily cold. "If there is one thing that Tom does not understand it is that. And what he does not understand, he seeks to destroy. He uses fear and threats to manipulate people into doing what he wants. In this case, he manipulated James' feelings and used them against him to hurt the both of you. But now the game is over and I am fairly sure that he will not go out of his way to harm either one of you."

Lily sighed, not sure whether she was relieved that Dumbledore thought it was over, or upset because the pair of them had been played. Game or not, the threat had been real, and Lily did not appreciate being toyed with.

"That's not to say he won't do you harm if the opportunity presents itself. He is still embarrassed by your defiance when last you met in Hogsmeade and I'm sure would not hesitate in making an example of you. But I stand by my reasoning that he will not seek you out. At least, not in the near future. As I've said, there are bigger things on the horizon."

The old man looked grim for a moment, before shaking his head minutely and stating simply that it was very late and he must leave.

Before Lily could say anything about what Dumbledore had just told them, James said briefly "I'm very tired," and excused himself from the room, leaving a puzzled Lily in his wake. She thought they could at least talk about it.

Practically running from the room, James dashed back up the stairs to his bedroom at the end of the corridor, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

* * *

**James' Occlumency Diary**

How could I have been so STUPID?

Of course it was a game to Voldemort! How self-important am I that I thought I'd be enough of a threat to Voldemort that he'd go out of his way to hurt Lily?

And Lily!

All the things I did, everything I put her through - it was all for nothing!

I won't be surprised if she never speaks to me again, and I wouldn't blame her either. I mean, she says she understands, but she hasn't forgiven me and she certainly hasn't told me she still loves me. The closest we got to that was she still 'has feelings'. Probably feelings of hatred and disgust, now that I think about it.

...

Merlin! I was completely sucked in! Typical Gryffindor fool, wanting to do the right thing and save the girl.

...

It just... It seemed real.

I mean, at the time, when I got that letter. It was so surreal. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

But I did.

And that's the thing, isn't it?

I mean, I was so sodding scared I just... I did exactly what he wanted me to.

...

But, really, I mean, can you take chances with a psychopath like Voldemort? Even if I'd thought he was just playing mind games, I still would've done what I did. Even if there was the slightest chance that he'd follow through on his threats, I'd do anything to protect Lily.

Lily.

She'll never forgive me now.

I wouldn't - I was an idiot.

I mean, she said she could see where I was coming from before, but now I just seem like a gullible panic merchant, just waiting for something to go wrong.

And there's more to this than just me and Lils, of course there is!  
There's a huge something-or-other planned and we know nothing about it, mostly due to me because I blew our cover by not keeping my huge mouth shut. So now we're in the dark, we can literally do nothing about it until we get word of another of their meetings and even then surveillance will be difficult because their security is bound to have increased tenfold.

And Moony's suffering another full moon without us all there. We haven't had one together since Hogwarts and every month he comes back more scratched and bruised than the month before, but he won't let us help him!

I'm not being self-centred but why does it feel like everything is my fault? ... Probably because it is, right?

* * *

Just then, James had to put down his quill because he thought he heard a rustling outside his door. Pushing himself up off the bed, he walked over, picking up the small, folded piece of parchment that had been shoved under the crack. Upon unfolding it, he instantly recognised the handwriting as Lily's.

_James, _

_I know a lot's happened tonight, and I know you're probably blaming yourself but don't. _

_Regardless of Voldemort's reasons behind his threats, you did what you thought was right and you did it for the right reasons. I can't really fault you there, can I?_

_Just don't beat yourself up about it, okay? _

_I maintain that I reserve the right to be mad about what you did, but I have to admit that had I been in your shoes, I would have done exactly the same. When I was mad before, I didn't realise that you had gone to Albus for help and that you honestly couldn't find another way out. _

_I just want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened. So you can stop saying you're sorry. Or writing it, or whatever you're doing in there. _

_Apology accepted, _

_Lily x_

* * *

Harry shifted, getting up off the cold stone floor of the basement.

Finally his parents seemed to be back on the right track. Which was a relief - his stomach had started to knot itself in anxiety reading all the horrible things from inside the chest. At least now he could take a break and get something to eat while things were on a good note. After all, he knew that the good (well, better) news wouldn't last.

He knew how the story had to end.

He sighed and pulled a hand through his hair. Finally his mum and dad seemed to be getting it together. At last!

* * *

**AN** - And there you have it! Lots of LJ fluff, angst and otherwise. No Remus/Laura (next chapter, promise). In fact, hardly anyone but Lily and James. So yeah, my bad. I wrote this chapter in bits, so that's why their emotions jump all over the place. Mind you, they had just been attacked so I would probably argue that it would scramble you up a bit...  
But yes. Many loose ends to tie up in the next chapter. I mean, what was with Jasmine being so promiscuous? And whatever will happen to Lily and James? And how is Remus faring after the full moon? Etcetera. Any suggestions are muchly appreciated so REVIEW :D

Ps - bonus points to whoever can spot the 'Ten Things I Hate About You Quote' and, more importantly, the Doctor Who quote (and ep it's from).

Many cyber-hugs (because hugs are very important) and Happy Fanficcing!


	10. Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I could dedicate ALL my time to it and would therefore be able to update more regularly (read: more than once every four months)

**AN - **I have no good excuse for the tardiness of this chapter. Thank you to some of the more pushy reviews lately that really got me writing again - you know who you are! well, you probably don't. but thanks to ALL MY REVIEWERS! You guys rock, especially considering I haven't updated in soooo long. Please read and review and ENJOY :D

* * *

**Last Time: **

_James,_

_I know a lot's happened tonight, and I know you're probably blaming yourself but don't._

_Regardless of Voldemort's reasons behind his threats, you did what you thought was right and you did it for the right reasons. I can't really fault you there, can I?_

_Just don't beat yourself up about it, okay?_

_I maintain that I reserve the right to be mad about what you did, but I have to admit that had I been in your shoes, I would have done exactly the same. When I was mad before, I didn't realise that you had gone to Albus for help and that you honestly couldn't find another way out._

_I just want you to know that I don't blame you for what happened. So you can stop saying you're sorry. Or writing it, or whatever you're doing in there._

_Apology accepted,_

_Lily x_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 9 - Light at the End of the Tunnel**

The next day was an exhausting one for the temporary residents of the Potter mansion. After finally crawling into bed at about five in the morning, neither Lily, Cat, James nor Sirius slept particularly well. They were roused by the house-elves early and called to the kitchen for a quick breakfast where David met them, looking as though he hadn't slept a wink.

"Good-morning," he said, attempting cheer.

"Morning, Dad," James replied, poking sleepily at his porridge.

"Just letting you all know, there will be an official Order meeting tonight at 6 in the Hog's Head," David announced. "It won't take long, according to Albus. Just a brief overview of last night's events and, I think, guard detail for the coming weeks."

"Wonderful," Sirius muttered.

"Right, well, I'm off to work," David said, again trying to lift the spirits of the room. "See you tonight, possibly."

"Bye, Dad," James intoned.

"I should probably get back to St Mungo's and see if I'm needed," Lily said with a yawn.

"We should drop by, too," Sirius said, perking up. "Need to check on Moony."

"Shit, Remus, I nearly forgot!" James said.

"Floo powder?" Lily asked.

"Above the fireplace. Come on, let's go," James said, taking one last mouthful of porridge then exiting the room, followed by Lily and Sirius.

"Oh, yeah, don't mind me," Cat mumbled to herself as she watched them go. "I'll just hang here then, shall I?"

* * *

At St Mungo's, Remus was already tucked into a hospital bed, fast asleep thanks to the help of a dreamless sleeping draught. Laura hovered around the ward, aimlessly checking patients' charts and filling up the jugs of water by their beds. Though she was a very logical and level-headed person, at this moment in time she was somewhat having trouble focusing on her job. She had her light blue healer's robes on and was in the middle of a shift, but she kept being drawn back to the werewolf's side in spite of the fact that other patients probably needed her attention more.

It was nearly the end of November which meant nearly two months since she and Remus had started dating. In that short time, the pair had become very close and though they hadn't yet taken that most intimate of steps in a couple's relationship (after all, Remus was very sensitive about nudity), the werewolf had slept over at her flat on numerous occasions (during the weeks when he had been avoiding James). The pair had also spent as much of their spare time together as possible, with Laura visiting Remus' cafe on her mornings off where she would sit at a table reading, waiting for Remus to take his break.

All this being said, however, Laura still had yet to be properly introduced to his friends and family and, as yet, they did not refer to each other as 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'; officially they were just 'casually dating' although to any observer there was really nothing casual about it.

Laura brushed the hair off Remus' forehead gently, drawing her eyebrows together in a frown as her fingers skated over a fresh new cut that breached his hairline. Since she had known him, she had noticed that the after effects of his transformations were becoming more and more serious - the cuts were deeper, the bruises were darker and the bites that the werewolf had inflicted upon himself were more abundant. But for the life of her she couldn't think of a reason why.

As though he knew she was thinking about him, Remus stirred in his sleep, wincing as he did so at the fresh new list of aches and pains. Laura tried not to wince to see him in pain, after all, they were only casually dating, but she found she couldn't help but worry for him. She was thankful that, only a few minutes later, visiting hours began and two middle aged women filed into the room, forcing her to get back to her work. Just as she left the ward to see Healer Stevens, Lily, James and Sirius arrived at St Mungo's, all of them more than a little bit tired.

"Do you think he'll be awake yet?" Lily asked as they walked past the reception desk and to the lifts.

"It is a bit early," James said, glancing at the large clock on the wall. "Maybe we should just let him sleep for a bit and get some coffee or something first?"

Sirius grunted in agreement so the trio made their way to the tearooms on the fifth floor.

"Sirius, what do you want?" Lily asked, getting out her purse.

"Coffee, black," he grumbled.

"And black tea, one sugar?" she asked James automatically. His eyes lit up and he nodded, pleased that she remembered how he took his tea as it meant she hadn't made a conscious effort to erase him from her memory. Lily half-smiled before leaving to get their drinks.

"I'd say you're in with a chance there, mate," Sirius said, nudging James with his elbow.

"Don't jinx it, Pads," James said warningly.

"Though she is rather changeable, the old Evans. Better not piss her off again," Sirius said, eyebrow raised.

"I can't tell if she's still mad at me or if she just wants to be my friend or what," James replied with a frown. "I mean, she's talking and smiling now - it can't be all bad."

"Ah, just like old times," Sirius sighed happily. "Prongs trying to win over the girl of his dreams, said girl trying to resist, the arguments, the apologies - I feel like history is repeating itself."

"Yeah, well, as long as she comes around in the end, I don't care if it takes me another seven years to get her to fall in love with me again," James said.

"Don't think it'll take that long, but at least I can make some money off Moony and Wormtail betting on how long it'll take. I'm backing a month," Sirius grinned.

"Yeah, if I'm lucky!" James exclaimed. "Speaking of, where is Wormtail?"

"Ooh..." Sirius said, eyes wide as he and James came to the same conclusion. "No one went back home last night. No one told him about what happened on the mission. We didn't tell him we'd come to visit Remus..."

"He is going to be so pissed," James said, wincing. "I feel a bit mean."

"Why do you feel mean?" Lily asked, balancing the drinks on a tray.

"Ah, Lilyflower, you're an angel!" Sirius said, grabbing his hot drink with his sleeves pulled down over his palms for protection.

"We forgot to tell Peter about last night and then didn't tell him we were coming here this morning even though we usually all visit Moony together," James explained.

"Don't worry about it - I'm sure he'll understand," Lily said, taking a sip of her tea.

"You don't understand, Lils. Pete's never really felt as included in our group," James explained awkwardly.

"It's because he's somewhat lacking in the looks and intelligence departments," Sirius said callously. "Not his fault, bless his ratty soul, but I think it might get to him sometimes."

"You think?" James intoned sarcastically.

"Hey, it's not my fault he couldn't get higher than an A in any of his NEWTs," Sirius protested.

"I thought he got an E in Herbology?" Lily interrupted.

"See, we don't even know what he got on his NEWTs - what sort of friends are we anyway?" James said, partly joking. Lily rolled her eyes, as she often did, which made James smile into his tea.

"Lily?"

Lily turned to see Laura walking towards her, looking a bit tired and wrinkle-robed but other than that, quite happy.

"Laura, how are you?" Lily said, standing to greet her colleague.

"Not bad, not bad. But I have a double shift today and I'm only two hours in," she replied.

"Oh, that's nasty. I don't think I'm rostered on again until Monday, which is good because I'm not a big fan of this 'being an intern' thing," she sighed.

"Are you here to visit Remus?" Laura asked.

"Yeah, we are. Oh, sorry. I'm not sure if you guys have met. This is Sirius Black and this is James Potter," Lily said gesturing to the boys, who stood to shake Laura's hand (well, Sirius bowed and kissed it... But that's just Sirius).

"I think we've met in passing, but it's nice to see you again," Laura said graciously. "If you want to go see him, his sleeping draught should be wearing off by now."

"Thanks, Laura. I'll probably see you later," Lily said.

"Well, I'll be down to check on Remus and the other patients in a bit, so yes, probably," Laura smiled, going to get her tea.

"I like her very much," Sirius said as they made their way back to the lifts. "I wonder why Remus hasn't introduced her to us yet."

"You know how he is about his love life, Pads. Very private."

"Yeah, but she's lovely. She'd fit right into our group," Sirius argued.

"And maybe that's why he hasn't introduced you lot yet," Lily said, pressing the button for floor one.

"Pardon?"

"Maybe he just wants to keep her to himself for a bit longer. Enjoy just her company. Once you become part of the group things can get... Messy, I guess," she continued, looking resolutely ahead at the metal grill of the elevator.

"Maybe he's embarrassed by us," Sirius said. "Imagine that! Embarrassed by _us_!"

"Oh, yes, that's _so_ difficult to imagine," James said emphatically.

"Quite sarcastic this morning, aren't we, Prongs?"

"You'd be sarcastic if you'd had the night I had, Padfoot," James said, staring at the back of Lily's head. Lily, who could feel James' eyes boring holes in the back of her head, added "Plus, Remus and Laura aren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Any time I talk to either one of them they refer to it as 'casually dating'."

"Well, that doesn't sound right, does it?" Sirius said as they got out of the elevator. "He's always at her place, if you know what I mean."

"Not that it's any of your business, but they haven't... You know..." Lily said, still marching ahead of them.

"What? Why the devil not?" Sirius cried, sounding perfectly affronted.

"Not everyone thinks with what's between their legs, Black," Lily said disapprovingly. "Some people prefer to fall in love first."

"Sounds ridiculous if you ask me," Sirius muttered.

"Don't bring it up with Remus. It'll just embarrass him," Lily said, "Especially if Laura's in the room!"

James, feeling as though he'd been left out of this conversation completely, cleared his throat loudly before pushing open the door to the Llewellyn ward.

"I'm not imagining it, am I, but he looks worse than usual," Sirius muttered to James.

"Hmm," James agreed.

Remus' post-full-moon hearing alerted him to his friends' presence and, with great difficulty, he opened his eyes to see them now standing around his bed.

"Morning, all," he croaked with an attempt at a smile that just turned into a grimace. Lily quickly handed him a glass of water which he sipped gingerly.

"So, how was last night, mate?" James asked, moving to the other side of Remus' hospital bed and perching himself on the side of it.

"Oh, fantastic," Remus said dryly.

"Hey, Prongs, looks like someone's just as sarcastic as you this morning," Sirius joked.

"Sorry we couldn't be there, Moony. We had an assignment for the you-know-what," James said.

"Really?" he replied, trying (and failing) to hoist himself up onto his pillows. "What happened? What did we find out?"

Lily sighed, not really wishing to retell the entire sorry saga.

"Lily and James were on a surveillance mission and they were discovered by the Death Eaters," Sirius said succinctly. "We didn't learn anything about their next attack except that it _is_ happening and it will be big."

"How come you didn't find out when it's happening?" Remus frowned.

"They were onto us before we could really hear anything. One followed us back home and it wasn't pretty," James explained.

"Last night we had a meeting with Albus to discuss guard duty and our next moves in terms of minimising the damage of the attacks which, thanks to me and James, we don't have a due date for," Lily added, looking defeated.

"So, basically, you didn't miss much," Sirius grinned, then he turned serious. "So, really, how was last night?"

Remus automatically glanced at Lily who realised that the werewolf didn't wish for her to be privy to his secret sufferings. "I'll see you lot later, okay?" she said with a smile.

"Wait, Lily, you don't have to go-" Remus began.

"No, it's okay, Remus. I have stuff to do at home anyway. Things to sort out. See you," she said, glancing briefly at James before exiting the ward.

"Well, before you go on with a detailed account of your injuries, Mister Moony," Sirius said, "I should probably let James explain what happened between him and Lily and what's actually been going on for the past month or so."

"This is beginning to get tedious, all this explaining," James sighed, before recounting to Remus all that had occurred with Voldemort's letter, Jasmine, Lily finding out...

"Wow, James. I mean... Shit," Remus said, staring at his eternally dishevelled friend.

"You made Moony swear - I knew it was serious," Sirius joked.

"I'm sorry I wrote you off so quickly, mate. It's just, you have to understand how it looked from the outside," Remus explain.

"Nah, it's fine, Moons. I know how it looked and I don't blame you one bit. But from now on can we all take a vow of full disclosure?" James asked. "I mean, we're the Marauders. Nothing is supposed to come between us. Just because we're not at Hogwarts anymore doesn't mean we're not the friends we used to be, right?"

"I'm not going to lie, Prongs, all this secret keeping made for some pretty shitty times," Sirius agreed. "Full disclosure!" he put his hand in.

"One hundred percent," James agreed, putting his hand on top of Sirius'.

"Well, maybe ninety-five," Remus said, adding his scarred hand to the pile.

"Ninety-five?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"There is some stuff that I prefer to keep private," Remus said evasively.

"Ooh, you mean your relationship with the pretty lady healer, don't you, you stud?" Sirius teased, folding his arms across his chest and looking at his friend appraisingly.

"That's none of your business," Remus blushed.

James sat down on the edge of Remus' bed and surveyed his friend shrewdly.

"We've already met her, you know? Lily introduced us just before."

"Really?" Remus feigned nonchalance.

"When can we meet her properly, Rem?" Sirius whined. "You really like her so why can't you share her with us?"

"You make her sound like a toy," James grinned.

"A naughty toy?" Sirius replied.

"Gross, who wants to share _those_ sorts of toys?" James cried.

"And you're wondering why I haven't introduced you yet?" Remus said sarcastically.

"The man makes a good point," Sirius said.

"Look, guys, I would like you all to meet soon because she's... well, she's special," he blushed again.

"Naww, isn't it cute! Ickle Moonykins is in looooove," Sirius cooed.

"You know, I think I'd rather fancy a kip now. Please go away," Remus said shortly, still extremely red in the face.

"I think we've embarrassed him, Mister Padfoot!" James chuckled.

"Seriously. Go. Away," Remus moaned, trying to pull the covers over his face. He knew he was being a bit immature but he didn't want to talk about the l-word in relation to Laura when there was every chance she could walk into the room at any minute.

"We're sorry, Moony. Please let us stay," Sirius begged.

"Are you harassing my patient, boys?" came a voice from the doorway. If Remus had been red before it was nothing compared to the shade his cheeks were turning as the very witch they had been discussing not moments before walked into the room.

"Healer Laura, a pleasure as always," Sirius said, bowing ostentatiously.

Laura narrowed her eyes, "Are you preventing my patient from resting and recovering?"

"No, ma'am!" James replied.

"Yes, they are. Take them away," Remus moaned in his fake sick voice, causing Laura to laugh.

"Okay, boys. You heard the man. Out you go," she ordered.

"I thought I'd find you here!" came another voice from the doorway. The Marauders turned to see their short and well-rested looking friend Peter entering the ward. "You could've told me you'd come to visit Remus! And where were you all last night?"

"I'll be right back, then," Laura said, moving off to check a bite victim in the bed nearest the door.

"Wormtail," Sirius began awkwardly, "We were just about to owl you!"

"Really?" Peter asked shrewdly.

_Great_, James thought, _now, of all times, he can suddenly tell when we're lying._

"Yeah, I mean, it's been a big night, Pete," James said.

"A big night?" the boy replied, his voice dripping with doubt.

"Well, you know where I was," Remus joked, trying to lessen the boy's wrath. Sirius shot the werewolf a look that clearly said 'thanks for nothing'.

"Look, Wormtail. There was an attack and Lily and James brought a Death Eater home to play and things happened and there were meetings and whatnot. A lot of confusion and kerfuffle," Sirius explained. "We just didn't think that you needed to know right away."

"Well, not we didn't think you needed to know. We want to keep you in the loop, mate, really-" James added.

"It's just we got sidetracked, with all the Death Eaters and stuff," Sirius finished.

"So, basically, you didn't think about me at all? Maybe letting me know that you were okay? Did it occur to you that I might have been worried? Or that maybe you guys always leaving me out of stuff makes me feel about two inches tall?"

James scratched the back of his head as if searching for answers - he hadn't realised that Peter had felt so excluded lately. Sure, at school they had known he was a bit clueless, but now that they'd left Hogwarts he'd had no idea his friend felt that way.

"Well, now probably isn't the best time to tell you that James has been lying about why he and Lily broke up then," Sirius muttered.

"What? Seriously, you left me out of that, too?" Peter said, actually stamping his foot a little bit.

"Did you just stamp your foot?" James said, frowning.

"Listen. I went last night to talk to Jasmine, as Dumbledore asked me to. Remember? He wanted her to contact her dad who works with the Minister to see if anyone within the Ministry was acting suspiciously."

"Yeah, so..?" James replied.

"I tracked her down last night and found her in bed with another guy!" Peter said, revelling in the fact that he had had information that his friends hadn't known for a change. He waited for the incredulity and shock that should surely follow this statement.

"Oh," James said, not really surprised. After all, Jazz did have an incredible sex drive. He could remember as though it were yesterday, their third date and her threat to 'give him space' if he didn't sleep with her. Remembering it, he smiled a little. It was funny how things turned out.

"Why are you smiling?" Peter cried.

"Oh, his whole reason for breaking up with Evans was a sham," Sirius explained. "He's still dead in love with her."

"And no-one thought to tell me this?" Peter exclaimed, his voice getting louder.

"Pete, calm down," Remus said soothingly. "I didn't know till just a few minutes ago, either." But it seemed Peter wasn't listening - years of pent up feelings of inadequacy were apparently being let loose.

"I can't believe you guys! I thought we were supposed to be friends. Sod it, I'm going. Get well soon, Remus," Peter said coldly, storming out of the room.

"Well, I'll be damned. He grew a spine," Sirius murmured as if in awe.

"Chose hell of a time to do it, too," James observed.

"I never knew he felt that way," Remus said. "I mean, I know we excluded him a little, but you two were always like brothers and _I _never felt so left out."

"I think we might take him for granted sometimes," James agreed. "Let's bake him a special cake or something."

"I'm not sure cake will fix it but it's a start," Remus said. "But wait till I'm home before you try using the oven. I'd rather you not blow up the flat."

"Why? It's not like you're there half the time," Sirius joked.

"Ha bloody ha, Sirius," Remus quipped, "But you'd be laughing the other side of your face if you tried baking that cake and it came out uncooked."

"You make a good point," Sirius grinned. There was comfortable silence for a minute before any of the three boys realised what Peter had said before his dramatic exit.

"Jazz, though," Sirius said at the same time Remus said, "Do you want to talk about her, James?"

James just shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care about her that much, or anything. I mean, I'm in love with Lily. But it's kind of poor form, isn't it? I mean, it's not like she knew I was using her as a cover or anything."

"Bit of a broom, isn't she?" Sirius said. When all he got was blank looks, he replied, "Everyone's had a ride."

James chuckled and even Remus managed a lopsided grimace.

"I suppose it's not like I can talk when I was using her," James said pragmatically. "What goes around, comes around."

"So anyway, Moony. Want to tell us about last night?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed, not really wanting to go into things in great detail. Besides, he wasn't always conscious of what happened during the full moon.

"It's no big deal, Sirius, I just have a few more scrapes than usual."

"A few? Remus, you're covered!"

"And not to sound girly, but I kind of preferred your skin during its less-blemished days of Hogwarts," James said. "Tell the truth, is it because we're not with you during your transformations?" he whispered.

Remus sighed again, hating to admit his weakness.

"Yeah, I think that might have something to do with it. But it's not like things are going to change any time soon, so you'll just have to get used to me looking like I've been in a car accident every month."

"I have a plan, actually," Sirius said. "We'll just tell your parents that we've added a basement to our flat and that it's no longer necessary for you to stay in their cell during your transformation. Then we can find a secluded forest location and all go there during the moon. It's perfect."

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Remus said, slapping his forehead in mockery.

"Again with the sarcasm?" Sirius quipped.

"Sirius, it's far too dangerous! For one thing, in any forest we go to we run the risk of muggles. For another, I could _kill someone_."

"I've thought of answers to all your silly worries, Moony, but I sense that now is not the time to argue," Sirius said calmly.

"Yeah, mate, we should leave you to rest," James agreed, although he shared a knowing look with Sirius that said they would definitely be bringing this up again.

"Thanks for stopping by, guys. I should be home tomorrow."

"We'll come get you, then. Pete may or may not be with us," Sirius replied, barely suppressing a grin.

"Come on, you shouldn't laugh. The poor bloke can't handle being the butt of a joke," Remus said reprovingly.

"Party-pooper," Sirius pouted, before blowing a kiss to Laura and leading James out of the ward.

Laura chuckled at Sirius' behaviour, walking back over to Remus' bed and sitting down gently so as not to cause the boy pain.

"You have quite interesting friends," she said with a smile. "That short one, Peter? A bit aggressive, isn't he?"

"Not usually. Didn't exactly catch him on his best day," Remus said with a sigh. "But Sirius and James are great, yeah."

"I'm glad I finally got to meet them," Laura said, casting a sidelong glance at Remus. "I wouldn't mind getting to know them better."

"Oh, don't tell me you've fallen for Sirius' boyish charm," Remus joked. "If I had a sickle for every time a girlfriend of mine fell for Sirius back at Hogwarts..."

"So, I'm your girlfriend now?" Laura challenged, eyebrow raised.

Remus blushed. "Uh, don't listen to me. It's the medication talking," he said, completely deadpan.

"I mean, I don't mind the sound of that," Laura replied, smoothing down the sheets while avoiding Remus' eye. "You do spend an awful lot of time at my place..."

"And you do come to visit me at work quite often," Remus added.

"And you are an incredible kisser," Laura smirked, looking at her casual partner-turned-boyfriend.

"Stop, you'll make me blush again," Remus replied, half smiling even though it hurt his face to do so.

"So, now that we're boyfriend and girlfriend, I was thinking we could maybe go on a date," Laura said.

"What, those other times weren't dates?" Remus joked.

"You know what I mean," she replied. "You'll come pick me up from work and tell your friends you're taking your girlfriend out to dinner and then make a contingency plan for if maybe she wanted to come back to your flat instead of the other way around..."

"Oh, I see," Remus said, realisation dawning upon him.

"Mmm," Laura said, trying to suppress a grin.

"But not tonight, obviously, because I look dreadful-"

"And you're not allowed to check out yet, Mister Lupin," Laura said sternly. "You need rest!"

"Well, how's tomorrow night?"

"Sounds perfect. My shift finishes at seven."

"I'll pick you up then," Remus said, that warm and tingly feeling expanding within his chest again at the sight of Laura's smile.

"It's a date," she grinned. Then she put on her serious medi-witch face, "Now get some rest!"

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied, smiling as he watched her leave the ward.

* * *

When Lily exited St Mungo's she still didn't quite feel up to returning to the Potter's to see what Cat was up to, nor did she feel much like talking to Anna back at their flat, so she made a beeline for the Leaky Cauldron - a place where she could sit and think without any interruptions.

Sitting at the bar, she ordered a butterbeer from Tom, the landlord, and pulled out a notepad and pen from her bag. Sipping on the drink and feeling and instant warming sensation, she began to write... A pros and cons list about none other than James Potter.

_Pros: _

_- He loves me.  
__- I love him_  
_- He's gorgeous_  
_- He cares about fighting Voldemort_  
_- He loves me_  
_- He makes me laugh_  
_- He always knows how to talk me down from a rage or make me feel better (like after the attack last night)_  
_- He is incredibly intelligent even though he shows poor judgement sometimes  
__- He knows the difference between 'your' and 'you're' and 'there', 'they're' and 'their' - this is very important!_  
_- He is quick on his feet in a battle and is very protective of those he loves_  
_- He is loyal to the point of stupidity when it comes to his friends and family_  
_- He loves me_

_Cons:_

_- He lied to me, so there are __trust issues_  
_- He has a hero complex - he has to put himself in danger instead of others which can be really frustrating_  
_- He is occasionally arrogant and thinks he knows best ALL THE TIME_  
_- He slept with another girl (who is a bit of a girl about town, so he might have an infection - check that)_  
_- He is always messing up his hair! (which, I admit, has grown on me, but sometimes I would just like for it to lie flat - is that so much to ask?)_  
_- He makes me CRAZY!__ How much emotional turmoil have I gone through because of him? I'm wasting my time now writing this stupid list and getting frustrated over how many pros and cons there are regarding his personality and, by extension, dating him again, but is he even worth it? I'm sick of being so emotional, to be honest.  
__- He makes it impossible to stop thinking about him._

Lily sighed and placed down her pen. Twelve pros and seven cons... Although three of those pros were the same thing, so it wasn't exactly a fair tally. If she went by the list, the pros still had it by three votes, but Lily had underlined some of the cons, because they were big factors, especially the one about trust. Lily had always been brought up to believe that if you don't have trust, you can't have love. But she obviously knew that wasn't true, because she still loved James. And that was her lightbulb moment. She still loved him. Of course she still loved him! How could she not? He'd only put them both through hell to keep her safe from Voldemort. His lies had been misguided, but at least the reasoning behind them had come from the heart. The least she could do, she decided, was cut him a little slack.

_It's not going to be easy_, Lily thought as she ordered herself a firewhiskey in celebration of her decision. _I mean, there's a lot of baggage now. I'm only eighteen, how many people my age even use that word? Maybe we should see someone about it..._

Her thoughts were interrupted by a pair of people coming down the stairs arguing at the tops of their lungs.

"Well, maybe you should have put a locking charm on the door!"

"Don't go blaming me, I'm not the one with a boyfriend," argued a male voice with hints of a foreign - possibly french - accent.

"Will you keep your voice down?" the female voice hissed.

"No! I'm done with being your boy toy or whatever the hell you want to call it. We're done, Jazz."

"Every week, the same argument, like a poorly made soap opera," Tom sighed from behind the bar, leaving Lily wondering if it was always the same pair arguing.

Then the pair came into view - a rather well built man wearing a very tight jumper and jeans, followed by a dishevelled, red-cheeked Jasmine, whose eyes darted quickly around the room to see if anyone had been paying attention. Fortunately for her, it was still early morning, so only the drunken dregs of the previous evening were left in the bar... Apart from Lily. When Jasmine caught her eye, her mouth opened a little in shock, but then she seemed to decide to act as though nothing had happened and promptly turned around and hurried out of the room.

Lily shook her head. She almost thought 'poor James' but then realised that he had been using Jazz, just as Jazz had probably been using him. _Well, that's karma for you_, Lily thought.

Her next decision was to owl Matt. They had been casually going out whenever they had a spare moment but they'd only gotten so far as kissing - _thank Merlin_, Lily thought - and although he was a perfectly lovely guy with nice, neat hair and a passion for helping the sick, it wasn't fair to string him along when she knew perfectly well that her heart lay elsewhere.

_

* * *

Dear Matt,_

_I really need to speak to you soon. About us. Are you free tomorrow night? I'm sorry I can't speak to you sooner but I have a whole heap of stuff to get done today. Cryptic, huh? Anyway, I do need to see you so owl me back as soon as you get this, okay?_

_Lily x_

_

* * *

_

Then she sat down and tried to think of what to write to James. She tried for about fifteen minutes to get out what she was feeling, but everything she wrote came out wrong: _you've been an absolute idiot, but I love you anyway; I can't believe you used a complete bitch as your cover - you didn't have to sleep with her to make anyone believe it... But I still, for some stupid reason, love you; I'm willing to give us another go because I can't stop thinking about you, but, seriously, we need therapy!_ None of those sounded right, somehow. So she decided that a face to face discussion would probably go down better. Or it would turn into a full blown argument. Either way, it would get her further than her fruitless brainstorm. So she took her note for Matt to the post office then made her way back to the girls' flat for a cup of tea and a nap in front of the television.

* * *

Cat was also napping at the Potter Mansion when James and Sirius returned at ten o'clock.

"Aww, isn't that sweet. She drools, just like Padfoot," James cooed, when they saw the girl curled up on the couch in the living room.

"Watch your mouth Potter, or I'll stun you," said the sleep girl, trying to surreptitiously wipe the drool off her cheek.

"You're very cute when you're all curled up like that," Sirius said fondly.

"I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth," James said dryly, leaving the room.

Cat wiggled over, making room for her boyfriend, who happily snuggled up to her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"How's Remus?"

"Not too good," Sirius said. "We reckon he's worse without us there."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Yeah, it's in the works," he replied. "We need Moony's consent, but he'll come around. He always does."

"So, what's the deal with Peter?"

"How do you know about that?"

"He stormed in here about half an hour ago, ranting about something. I think he was saying that there was no food in your flat because the elves gave him a shepherd's pie and a chocolate cake to take home."

"Typical Peter. He might be in a rage, but his stomach always comes first," Sirius sighed. "He's just annoyed that we didn't tell him what was going on. Oh, and that we didn't really care that Jazz was cheating on James."

"What?" Cat said loudly, sitting up straight.

"Yeah, apparently he caught her with some other guy last night at the Leaky Cauldron when he went there to get info out of her. Would've been a right shock if James had actually been dating her."

"Still, who does that? I hope she doesn't think she can still be on our team at work. The trust's completely gone, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's a shame. She was a good fighter. And not too hard on the eyes," he said pensively.

"Watch it, Black!" Cat nudged him.

"You know, I'm exhausted after last night," Sirius said.

"Me too," Cat replied with a yawn.

"I was thinking I might go up to my old room and lie down for a bit. Care to join?"

"Sure, I could use some sleep," she replied, not catching on to what Sirius was hinting at.

"I think you're missing the point..."

"Huh?"

"We should lie down? Together? Maybe lock the door and put a silencing charm on the room, if you get my drift?"

"Ohhh," Cat said. "Suddenly, I'm feeling very awake," she grinned, taking Sirius by the hand and leading him toward the bedrooms.

* * *

As it turned out, Lily didn't get a chance to catch up with James until that evening at the Order Meeting. Once again it was taking place at the Hog's Head, and they all arrived separately to avoid suspicion (although secretly Lily doubted that staggered entrances to a usually empty bar would throw off the Dark Lord). James was already seated with Remus, Anna and Caradoc when she arrived. Sirius and Cat were still to arrive, as was Peter, who nobody had seen the entire rest of the day. She nervously tugged a strand of hair behind her ear and calmly reminded herself that it was just James, before she approached him.

"Hey guys," she said, then looking at James, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," James said, surprised that she had been the one to approach him. He had been planning on giving things another day or two before he brought up his feelings again, but he was definitely pleased by this turn of events. "Want to grab a drink? The meeting doesn't start for another twenty minutes."

"Okay, yeah," Lily replied, leading him out the thick oak door to the main pub area.

After ordering two glasses of mulled mead - just for a change of pace - they moved to one of the booths and sat down, James looking expectantly across the table at Lily. And then there was silence.

After a minute or so, James couldn't bear it any longer.

"Is there something you wanted to discuss, Lily?" he asked, being careful to use his slightly deeper 'mature' voice.

"I just wanted to talk to you about, you know, what's been going on lately," she said, not sure where to begin.

"What in particular? It's been a bit hectic," James replied, both worried and excited about where this conversation could lead.

"Maybe it'd be easier if I just showed you my list," Lily mumbled, pulling out her notepad from earlier that day.

"What's that?" James asked, frowning.

"It's a list I made of all your good and bad qualities - a pros and cons to dating you list, I suppose," Lily replied, biting the inside of her cheek. "I don't know why I wrote it, to be honest, but it felt good to get it down on paper."

"Does this mean you're considering us together again?" James asked.

"I don't know, really. Just read it, okay?"

"You think I'm gorgeous? I knew it! Lily Evans has once again caved to my handsome features," James grinned.

"Add insufferably cocky to the cons list, would you?" Lily said dryly.

"You love me?"

"Huh?"

"Says right here in the second dot point. 'I love him'," James said, afraid to look at Lily now.

"Oh, right. I forgot I wrote that," she said awkwardly.

"Is it true?"

"What do you mean 'is it true?' - it's on the list, isn't it?" Lily answered irritably.

"Lily, I meant what I said the other night, about how I never stopped loving you," James said, looking Lily straight in the eye. "If you actually do love me too, then what's stopping us?"

"Have you read the cons list?" she asked, trying not to give in to her urges to just snog the poor boy senseless.

"By my count, there are more pros than cons," James said with a smirk.

"But they're big cons. They're underlined! If I'd had a highlighter with me, I would've highlighted them, too!"

"You mean the one that says there's no trust? Or the one that says I drive you crazy? Because honestly, Lily, you drive me crazy, too. It's part of being in love."

"I know that. But the trust thing is a big issue. A relationship needs proper, solid, cannot-be-shaken trust. And we really don't have that right now."

"Trust comes with time, though, right? Why don't we just give it time?" James asked.

"You're not the one whose trust was broken," Lily countered. "I love you and I want things to go back to the way they were before but it doesn't just happen. I think we need help."

"Help how?" James asked, confused.

"I think we need to see someone."

James continued to look perplexed. "Do you mean like a third person because I'm not really up for that. It's more Sirius' thing. Well, it was before he met Cat, I mean-"

"No, Potter, get your mind out of the gutter. I mean like a couples therapist or something."

"Lily, we're only eighteen!" James said. "I know I told some bad lies, but isn't this a little extreme?"

"We might be young, but we have gone through more in the past six months than most people do in their entire relationships. To be honest, I don't think we fit the normal mould."

James ruffled his hair and sighed. Of course he would do whatever it took to get Lily back. He was willing to wait for her for months on end. But he hadn't anticipated this. Still, it seemed to be a step in the right direction, so why not give it a go?

"Muggle or magic therapist?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think our problems might be a bit complex for a muggle therapist," Lily reasoned.

"Good point. I'll look into it. I'm sure Dad knows someone we can talk to."

"Listen, James, I still have feelings for you, you know that. I mean, I wouldn't have anything to do with you after what you did to me if I didn't. But this doesn't mean we're back together the way we were. As far as I'm concerned, we're back to square one. It's seventh year all over again only this time I trust you less."

"So what you're saying is I'm going to have to work really hard to prove to you that I am still the guy I was back then?"

"In a word, yes," Lily replied.

"You know I'd go to the end of the earth for you, Lils. All you have to do is ask," James replied.

"If by the end of the earth you mean couples therapy for recovering, celibate couples, then I appreciate it."

"Hold on a minute, who said anything about celibate?" James joked, making Lily laugh.

"Back to square one, remember?" she said. "But I think this is okay," and she leant across the table giving James a soft kiss on the cheek. She pulled away slowly, amazed at how right everything felt once more, just being this close and this open with him. She was only inches away when James leant in and captured her lips with his, gently cradling the back of her head in his palm. They pulled away, properly this time, after a moment and Lily couldn't help the smile that creeped across her face.

"I've missed you, Lils," James said.

"I've missed you, too," she whispered.

* * *

**AN - **Ta-da! Was it worth the wait? I hope so! I had fun writing this chapter so hopefully that means there will be more to follow shortly. I only came up with the idea of couples therapy about two hours ago (about 1.30am) so I'm not sure if it's a good idea but it made me laugh so I kept it.

Anyway, I do apologise for my slack-ass updates. I shall try to be more proactive this year. Happy New Year, by the way. May it be full of awesome fun times and great fanfiction.

Please take a skinny min just to send a review my way - I'd really appreciate it :) You guys rock for sticking with this story and I am sending you all cyber cookies right now. Enjoy, they're chocolate chip (there are some white choc and macadamia ones too, for the lucky few). Anyway, it's late.. or early (4am) so I'm going to go. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and, till next time, Happy Fanficcing :D

PS - The 10 Things I hate about you quote was "stop. turn. explain" (from when the dad is talking to bianca and chastity about going to prom)  
And the Doctor Who Quote was 'Oh, sweet lord, I look disgusting!' from season two, ep 2 - New Earth when Cassandra is in Rose's body (I'm a nerd). But good guess and congrats go to Spike321 for guessing it was the 'hold out your hands' line from season 1, ep 'The Doctor Dances' coz that quote fits too. I would apologise for the excessive nerdiness, but i think nerdiness is totally awesome! woo!


	11. Couples Therapy

**Disclaimer - **Standard disclaimer applies (for I am too lazy to write anything clever)

**AN - **It's been a long time! Blame university, I know I do. I wrote most of this ages ago but really struggled to finish this chapter, but then I got sick on a family holiday in Bali and writing made me feel better. And thus, I shall write more often. Did anyone even know that Bali belly existed? stupid me for being adventurous with the food :(

Anyway, I hope that those of you still reading this fic enjoy this chapter. It has predictable bits, mushy bits and some tying up of loose ends. But best of all it sets about getting our favourite characters back together. Enjoy :) (And review if you have a moment)

**Previously - **Lily found out why James broke it off with her. Peter got very upset at being left out of the loop. That was pretty much it, as far as I can remember. Enjoy the turmoil that follows!

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Couples Therapy**

The Order meeting was brief and thankfully so. Moody and Dumbledore had drafted a roster for individual and paired guard shifts over those deemed significant to their operations, including their right hand man to the muggle Prime Minister - Tobias Finch. Lily was happy to note that her shift was during the day time and not until the weekend.

That evening, Lily parted ways with James with a chaste, but clearly sexually charged, kiss on the cheek, which raised quite a few eyebrows from their friends. While Lily was trying to explain to Cat and Anna - and, a little bit, to herself - why she had decided to give James another chance, the boy in question was being verbally berated by his best friends at St Mungo's (where they had gone to keep Remus up to date).

"What happened to taking it slow? Surely she's not ready to forgive you yet?" Remus said incredulously.

"You're just annoyed because you bet that it would take at least two months for things to happen and I only bet one month so now you owe me three sickles and a knut," Sirius interrupted.

"I agree, it's quicker than I expected but who am I to complain?" James said. "I love her, she loves me. I'm just glad she's giving me another chance."

"Just like that? She only found out the whole story last night. That's less than twenty four hours to adjust," Remus mused.

"It's love, Moony. Ain't nothing like it," Sirius grinned, ruffling James' hair.

"It's not like it came condition free," James began, scratching the back of his head as he was wont to do when perturbed by something.

"What's she making you do?" Remus asked.

"Public declaration of love?" Sirius asked.

"Clean out their flat and get rid of the boggart in their downstairs closet?" Remus asked.

"Put a ring on it?" Sirius suggested with a wink.

"They have a boggart?" James asked.

"Lily told me about it the other week - their cupboard is making odd noises," Remus explained, "Stop trying to change the subject."

"She's making me... See someone," James said with an odd grimace.

"See someone? Like a healer or something? Is it to check you didn't catch anything from Jazz?" Sirius asked seriously.

"Padfoot!" Remus interrupted, looking mildly disgusted.

"Because you probably should..." Sirius continued.

"No!" James cried, looking insulted. "Everything _down there_ is just fine, thank you very much. As if I wouldn't check-"

"James!" Remus interrupted. "Back on topic, please. Who is Lily making you see?"

"A couples therapist," James mumbled, turning pink.

"Sorry, a what?" Sirius asked, a grin stretching across his face.

"A therapist, okay? For couples. Because she has, and I quote, 'trust issues'," James said, looking sullen.

It was a full five minutes before Sirius recovered from his laughing fit.

"Oh, mate, that is classic," he said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "You must really love this girl!"

James just looked at his best friend as if to say 'well, duh!'. Remus was slightly more sympathetic.

"That's too bad, Prongs. But I suppose it makes sense. You two have been through a lot."

"Yeah, but I'm just not too keen on talking about it to a complete stranger. I don't care that it's their job. It's personal stuff, you know?"

"Yeah, but you tell us all your personal stuff," Sirius interrupted, "And we're brilliant."

"I think you're missing the point, Padfoot," Remus said. "But, seriously, James, I think this is all for the best. Just let Lily do the talking - she probably needs to vent - and only speak when you're asked. That way, you're more likely to minimise the chances of you saying something stupid."

"Oh, gee, thanks," James replied sarcastically.

"Just trying to be helpful," the werewolf said, raising his hands.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, Moony," James said, running a hand through his hair. "Just nervous."

Sirius clapped James on the back.

"And you should be. Winning Evans back won't be easy, but we have faith in you, mate. Besides, I know how you feel. Cat has more than once suggested that we see a therapist of some description."

"No, Pads, she has suggested that _you_see a therapist," Remus corrected.

"Yes, but I'm sure it was all in good fun," James added, seeing the confusion on Sirius' face and not wishing to deal with a moody Black on the way home.

"Anyway, I should probably let you two get home. It's been a long two days. And I'll be home tomorrow in any case."

"Do you want us to come and pick you up? I don't think Moody's taking us for class this week so we could probably slip away for a bit," James asked.

"No, I'll be fine. I'm just going to come home and get changed. I'm taking Laura out to dinner," Remus smiled. James and Sirius exchanged grins at their friend's besotted expression.

"And, uh, will she be sleeping over?" James asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"Well, I don't want to presume anything but, um, maybe..." Remus replied, blushing.

"Aww, ickle Moony's turning red," Sirius joked.

"We'll make ourselves scarce, then," James said.

"And this time, we'll keep Peter well informed," Sirius added.

"Have you guys spoken to him since this morning?" Remus asked.

"Not really. He was at the meeting, but didn't speak to us. Just sat there talking to Anna."

"Why would he be talking to Anna, I wonder?"

"I overheard them talking about some potions racketeering thing," Sirius said. "From what Cat tells me, Anna's working on some expose about underground potion trafficking and its links to the Death Eaters."

"What's Peter got to do with that?" Remus asked.

"I think it's because Pete works at the Post Office and is keeping an eye out for mysterious looking packages," James said.

"Knowing the idiots that work for You-Know-Who, I wouldn't be surprised if they sent their evidence through the mail," Sirius said darkly.

"Anna should be careful looking into that stuff," Remus said with a frown. "If they find out that she's getting close to she could really be putting herself in danger."

Before the others could respond, Laura wandered over and told them that regrettably visiting hours were about to end and they should say their goodbyes.

"Have you been here all day?" Sirius asked, "Because, really, that's like slave labour with the wages you lot are on."

"Thank you for your concern, Sirius, but it's fine. I signed up for the double shift today," she said, unconsciously placing her hand on Remus' shoulder.

"Ah, we see. We'll just be going then," James said, practically dragging Sirius away. "See you tomorrow, Moony."

"See you, guys," there werewolf responded, unable to say anything more as he suddenly found Laura's lips on his.

She pulled away with a smile on her lips.

"So should I pack my overnight things for this date, then?" she asked with a smirk. Remus was beyond embarrassed and thought that now would be the perfect time for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

"I, er-" he managed to get out, before his airways seemed to close over with nervousness.

"I'll bring my toothbrush," Laura whispered in his ear, before she picked up her clipboard and walked out of the room, swaying her hips slightly as she went. And Remus thought to himself that the word 'toothbrush' had never before sounded so sexy.

* * *

**Anna's Occlumency Diary**

Not even sure why I still keep this thing. It's not like I'm at Hogwarts anymore, so I don't really need an occlumency diary. I should just call it a diary.

But first things first.

Today I discovered that three shady gentlemen have been sending regular packages through the owl post. Peter told me, as he works at the office in Hogsmeade. They first came in a couple of months ago and this is how he described them: there were three of them: _one tall with really mangy brown hair, the other two shortish and similar looking (probably twins) but one was a girl and one a guy. They had black curly hair. _He also said that when they signed off on their packages, the names looked familiar but he couldn't place them. I wish I had a pensieve so maybe if the names are lurking in his subconscious, I'd be able to read them off the paperwork. But that's all I have to go on so far.

I think my next step is to try and track down these three. It sounds like trying to find a bowtruckle in a forest, but Peter's descriptions were fairly useful. I mean, how many almost identical twins can there be in the wizarding world... Well, that's a bad example. But still, Peter said they were always together, so all I have to do is go undercover in the dodgy parts of town for a while. Knowing that they're probably Death Eaters narrows it down to exclusively wizarding locations, especially in seedy parts like Knockturn Alley.

I'm keeping a record of this in case, Merlin forbid, something should happen to me. I seriously doubt it - I'm not an idiot and I know how to protect myself. But I think just incase, it's a good idea.

Besides, I want Caradoc to be able to know what I've been doing, without having to tell him. He was so worried last time I brought it up. He got quite cross at me so I promised I'd stop digging. But naturally I had my fingers crossed.

It's just... This could be my big break. The big story that makes me famous. Plus, like Lily said that time, it could be helping a lot of people if my investigative skills put some Death Eaters behind Azkaban's bars.

But speaking of Caradoc, things are going great. He's flying brilliantly, and his team are in the top half of the ladder. I'm stupidly proud. It does limit our time together, especially since he is based in Scotland and apparating from that far away is, quite frankly, exhausting. But we're making it work. I can't wait to see him later this week. I'm going up to see him for the weekend - I've taken leave off work and everything. It's our six month anniversary! I can't believe we've been together for that long already. I wonder if he even remembers? It's not like I can forget. It's six months since: Gryffindor won the quidditch cup, Caradoc told me he loved me and, that's right, I came out of a coma. Not an easy date to forget!

Anyway, I'd better stop writing in this thing now. I have to get back to the flat for dinner with the girls (I just had to drop by the shop to pick this diary up, of course). I want to know how Lily decided on couples therapy. I mean, really? At their age? But that's Lily, I suppose - completely logical and to the point. And I'm glad they're trying to work things out. Lily and James are the standard that couples should measure themselves by. In fact, if it weren't for them breaking up (or for the fact that Caradoc and I are together), I would have called Lily and James the golden couple. But that's just between you and me.

* * *

"So, were you planning on giving him another second chance or was it just one of those things where you're in the room with him and you're finding it difficult to say no?" Cat asked, sitting on the bench top while Lily cooked pasta on the stove.

"What'd I miss?" Anna asked, walking into the kitchen and dipping her finger into the bolognaise sauce Lily was stirring. The red head slapped away Anna's hand and turned away to rummage through the cupboards for some ingredient or other.

"Seriously, guys, it's no big deal," she said, "It's just a bit of couples therapy."

"Yes, but it's _couples therapy_," Anna said, as if this explained her confusion.

"Look, I love James, okay?" Lily said, facing her friends. "I never stopped loving him and, as it happens, I still want to spend possibly the rest of my life with him-"

"Oh my Godric, you want to get married!" Anna interrupted.

"No!" Lily said, running a hand through her hair in exasperation - which made Cat grin, recognising one of James' bad habits.

"Let the poor girl speak, Anna," Cat said.

"Listen. I love him, but I don't fully trust him anymore. He lied to me. And not a little white lie like he told me he was at work when really he was hanging out with friends, but broke up with me and pretended not to love me anymore, big, huge, painful lie. I can't just get over that right away," Lily explained. "But I want to get over it soon so I can get on with the rest of my life. So _we_ can get on with the rest of _our_ life," she added with a small smile.

"Lils, I'm glad to hear it's all working out for you again," Cat said, giving her a hug.

"Yeah, me too. I don't know if you noticed but everything sort of fell apart when you two were fighting," Anna said.

"I noticed, and I'm sorry for that," Lily apologised.

"It's not your fault," Cat said, "And even though it's not James' either, we did start calling him Yoko behind his back."

Lily laughed with Cat, while Anna stood on puzzled by the joke she was completely missing.

"So anyway, do you guys think it'd be okay if we maybe threw a dinner party?" Lily asked.

"Sure, when? I love parties," Anna grinned.

"I was thinking more of a girls' night, perhaps the night after tomorrow night?" Lily said. "It's just I think we'd probably benefit from some other female influences in the group. Like you said, when James and I were apart, everything fell to pieces, and maybe it might be nice to have some other people to talk to."

"Who'd you have in mind?" Cat asked.

"Well, I feel like I keep running into Dorcas Meadows," Lily said, even though, in reality, they'd only talked on a handful of occasions. "I think I'm going to take her up on her offer to work for the Ministry, but I want to have a reason to talk to her first, then ease into it."

"Seriously?" Anna asked, eyes wide with shock.

"Yeah, Experimental Charms division of the Department of Mysteries," Lily replied. "I really miss charms, and healing is... I don't know. I mean, I like helping people, but I feel like I'm sort of wasted there. Not saying I'm above it or anything, but it's not challenging enough, you know?"

"Good for you, Lils. Taking control of your life!" Cat laughed.

"Maybe we should also invite Alice Prewett?" Anna suggested. "After all, she is in the Order and engaged to Frank Longbottom, who was always good friends with the boys."

"That's a really good idea, plus we know her. I've been writing to her on and off for the past year," Lily replied.

"Any other secret pen-pals you haven't told us about?" Cat joked.

"And do you think we should invite Laura? After all she is Remus' new girlfriend?" Anna asked.

"I think that'd be nice - I'll ask her tomorrow when I go in to check my shifts," Lily said.

"She and Remus are official, then?" Cat asked.

"Almost. They're calling it 'casual' but they're going on an official date tomorrow night and I think they'll go from there."

"What do you mean an official date? They've gone out heaps, and Remus sleeps over," Anna argued.

"Yes, but they haven't done anything. Plus you know how Remus can be - I think he wants to take it slowly so nothing goes wrong."

"He's a funny one, that boy," Cat said.

"So is that okay? Six of us. I'll send out the owls tomorrow," Lily said.

"No, it's okay, I'll do it," Anna volunteered. "I have to go to the Post Office tomorrow anyway."

"Why? To talk to Peter some more?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought it was weird the way he didn't talk to the others all through the meeting tonight," Cat interrupted.

"I think they've had a falling out about how the others always leave Peter out of the loop," Lily replied. "He'll get over it, I'm sure."

Anna was glad that she was being overlooked, because she didn't much fancy having to tell her friends that she was still looking into the Death Eater story. She'd had enough warnings from Caradoc to last a lifetime.

* * *

The following day, Lily did go in to St Mungo's to check her roster for the coming week. While she was in the break room, staring up at the board, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. With a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach, she turned around to see Matt standing there, the expression on his face unreadable.

"Hi," she said lamely.

"Hey," he replied. "I got your note."

"Oh, right," she said, mentally delivering herself a smack on the forehead.

"You said you wanted to talk and I saw you here so I thought I'd just get it out of the way now." Lily winced at the tone of his voice - a combination of defeat, sadness and a hint of bitterness that made her very uncomfortable.

"I'd rather talk to you somewhere private, actually," Lily said nervously.

"Lily, seriously, I wish you'd just spit it out. Your letter didn't sound good. I know what 'we need to talk' really means. So, just... Can you just say it?" he said, a note of pleading now in his voice. Lily felt her stomach clench uncomfortably - she hadn't realised their casual dating had meant so much to the poor boy. And she certainly didn't want to further his embarrassment by dumping him so publicly, so she took him by the hand and lead him into one of the many supply cupboards in a corridor off the main waiting room.

"Matt-" she began, but before she could launch into her apologetic diatribe, she found herself being kissed and pushed gently up against the shelving behind her. Whether it was to her credit or not, Lily did not immediately push the boy off her. She let him kiss her, but didn't respond and soon enough Matt got the message and stepped back.

"I'm sorry," he said, moving back as far as he could without bumping into the shelves behind him. "I don't suppose that changed your mind?"

Lily shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked. "I don't mean to sound pathetic or anything, it's just I thought we were going really well."

"We were," Lily agreed, "But I can't see you like this anymore. I still..." she trailed off, not sure if her renewed relationship with James was the best thing for Matt to hear at this point in time.

"It's Potter, isn't it?" Matt said shrewdly.

Lily shrugged, unsure of what to say. "It's nothing you did-"

"It's not you, it's me? Really?" Matt said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"I can't explain it," Lily said, "But things changed. I have to give him another chance."

Matt just nodded.

"We can still be friends, though, right?" Lily asked. "I really do enjoy hanging out with you."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Matt said with a weak smile.

"How about tonight, then? Catch up for a drink after work?"

"Thanks, Lily, but I think I'll give this one a miss," Matt replied. Catching her saddened expression he added, "Rain-check, though. Some other time, hey?"

"I'd like that," Lily replied with a sad smile. "See you around, Matt."

* * *

_Dear Dorcas,_

_It's been a while since I last wrote to you. How's things? How is the wedding planning going? I can't remember if I congratulated you and Benjy at the last meeting but, really, I'm so happy for you!_

_Anyway, I was wondering if you were available tomorrow night for a dinner party with the girls? Just at our flat - you, me, Cat, Anna and then I was thinking of inviting Remus' new girlfriend Laura who I work with at the hospital and also Alice Prewett. You work with her, don't you? I can't remember. She's dating Frank Longbottom, who was good mates with the boys at Hogwarts. _

_But I just thought it'd be nice to mix up the group a bit and get some fresh conversation. _

_Let me know if you're free to come. There's something I actually need to speak to you about but it can wait until I see you. _

_Hope everything is going well, _

_Lily_

* * *

Lily was in the elevator on her way out of the hospital when she ran into Laura, who was on her way to clocking off for the day as she'd worked the morning shift.

"Lily, hi!" Laura said, initiating their conversation. "How are you?"

"Good, thanks, Laura. How are you?" Lily replied, thinking how convenient it was that they'd bumped into one another.

"Not bad, you know? Remus is just about ready to be discharged and I'm going home to get ready for our special date tonight," she said, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Oh, that's right," Lily replied, as they exited the lift and walked towards the sign-out area for staff.

"It seems silly, I know, because we've been seeing each other for a while now, but I guess we both just wanted to be sure about things. And we haven't... you know? Not yet, but I think maybe tonight... Sorry, you probably don't need to know all this," she said blushing.

"No, it's okay, Laura. Remus is one of my very close friends and it's good to see him so happy," Lily replied genuinely. "And I understand wanting to be sure about a person, believe me."

"Sounds like there's a good story there," Laura said, noting Lily's change to serious mode.

"Oh, just the usual drama," Lily said, shaking her head, "It's a long story."

"We should catch up some time, then," Laura suggested. "Maybe grab a coffee or something if our lunch breaks match up?"

"Actually, I did mean to ask you earlier if you're free tomorrow night?" Lily said. "The girls and I are having a sort of dinner party at our flat - a girls' night - and you're more than welcome to come along. It'll be myself, Cat and Anna. We share a flat together, but I'm not sure if you've met them yet. In any case, we're all friends with the boys and we all spend a lot of time together so it'd be nice to meet some new people."

"That sounds good to me," Laura replied. "Will it just be the four of us?"

"I've also invited Dorcas Meadows, who was a few years above us at school, and Alice Prewett who is seeing one of the boys' other friends, Frank. I just thought it'd be nice to mix it up a bit, without the boys there to steer the conversation towards quidditch at every opportunity."

"Well, in that case, I'd love to come," Laura smiled. "Should I bring anything?"

"You don't need to bring anything, but if you want to bring some wine or something to drink, you're more than welcome."

"Okay. Thanks, Lily. I really appreciate it," Laura said.

"See you tomorrow night, then," Lily replied. "Oh, and good luck with your date," she grinned.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cat, Sirius and James were back at the Ministry for the continuance of their auror training program. As it happened, today they were working on filling out incident reports based on their practice drills - a mind-numbingly dull task that had them sitting in small booths next to each other. Thankfully, Moody was not supervising this particular activity so Sirius had deemed it safe to employ a much used charm from their Hogwarts days that allowed them to pass notes to each other just by writing on their parchment.

**(Sirius, **James, Cat**)**

**I am so bored, I may just die. Right here. Siriusly.**

You know that joke is never going to be funny, right, Pads?

**It's hysterical, Prongs, don't be ridiculous. But, really. I'm dying.**

Can you boys take me off your list of people whose parchment needs to be charmed? Because I'm trying to write up reports here, and your messy scribble all over my work is not necessary.

**Sorry, Cat. But I don't want you to feel left out. **

Really, leave me out. I won't mind one bit.

**How about we play a game instead. I am only sitting across the table from you, and even though your beautiful face is obscured by the booth wall between us, I can still do... This...**

That tickles!

Oh dear Lord, I'm being forced to read about my friends playing footsie. Kill me now.

Trust me, Potter, he's not using his feet...

Oh, gross! What? How does that even... I don't want to know.

**I'm magic, Prongs. Enough said. **

I'll second that.

For Merlin's sake! Please stop doing that. You might be across the table, Pads, but Cat is right next to me and I can HEAR HER.

**It's not my fault she's prone to noise-making. Now if you'll excuse me, I no longer have a free hand for my quill. **

I never thought I would long for the days of McGonagall's watchful eye preventing us from sharing notes, but this is NOT something I want to be reading. Scarred. For. Life.

...

Never mind that I might have problems I want to talk about.

I have couples therapy tonight.

Yeah. While Remus is on his date and you two are probably doing goodness knows what, I will be in some bizarre alternate reality where I have to listen to a stranger tell me how to win Lily back. It feels wrong. Like we're taking some sort of short cut.

Why can't we just work things out like we always do?

...

I mean therapy. At our age? Insane.

May I offer some advice?

I thought you were busy, but sure.

Just go with it. Yes, you two have always been fine in the past, but that was before a maniacal super-villian took a personal interest in you and broke you up.

I guess.

Lily needs you and you need her. Half an hour talking to a stranger is worth a lifetime with Lily, isn't it?

Well, when you put it like that, of course it is.

There you go. Now... If you'll excuse me.

Thanks, Cat. But seriously, you two have no shame!

* * *

After spending literally two hours trying to make his hair look neat and the bags under his eyes less purple, Remus left the boys' apartment for St Mungo's where he was to pick up Laura for their date. Thinking that he probably hadn't been this nervous in all his life, he straightened out his suit jacket (this was a fancy date, after all) and disapparated. He, of course, knew why he was so nervous. He and Laura had decided to officially declare themselves a couple and, as such, she had indicated that she wouldn't be opposed to staying the night. And not in the tame, we-both-stay-completely-clothed way, but in the sharing-the-bed-in-a-delightfully-intimate way. Which was exciting and terrifying for the poor werewolf, least of all because Laura was a few years older and probably vastly more experienced, but because Remus, in fact, had no experience whatsoever to speak of. He'd gotten close with Anna, but that relationship had suffered its tragic end before anything physical had happened - as Remus had wanted Anna to know of his lycanthropy first. And he hadn't really known Claire long enough for anything to happen, in spite of the fact that he had met her family. So this whole 'special date' thing was indeed making him very nervous. Once again smoothing his jacket down, he stepped through the muggle entrance to the hospital and into the busy waiting room.

Thankfully, he spotted Laura straight away. In a pale blue, sleeveless dress that ended just at her knees, and her hair pulled softly back into a braid down her back, she was rather hard to miss. She smiled broadly when she saw Remus, who found he couldn't help the smile that spread across his face in reply.

"You look-" Remus gestured, unable to find the right words.

"You too," Laura blushed, looking at her feet.

"Err, shall we?" Remus asked, extending his arm to her.

"We shall," she replied, slipping her arm through his. "So, where are we going?"

"You'll see," Remus said, opening the door of a black taxi waiting outside the apparently derelict department store.

"Full of surprises and a gentleman. I was right when I said you were a catch, Remus Lupin," Laura said, sliding into the taxi. Remus closed the door behind her and walked to the other side of the cab. "And, perhaps, the luckiest man alive," he muttered to himself with a smile.

* * *

_Dear Dad, _

_Lily is making me go to couples therapy. Any helpful suggestions? Obviously you and mum never needed therapy so I don't really know why I'm asking for help, and I suppose I deserve everything coming to me after the way I treated Lily, but... Couples therapy? Really?_

_Never mind. I know you have more important things on your mind. I just felt like writing you a letter, since you're all alone in our house. Unless you're on another mission. _

_Actually, that's one thing I was wondering. Our house (well, mansion is a more appropriate word) is really quite large and empty for just you. I was thinking maybe we could offer it to Dumbledore as an alternate headquarters for the you-know-what? Maybe just in times of emergency or when we need to strategise or something. It'd give the house elves something to do, at least. _

_Anyway, I'd better go. I don't want to be late for therapy..._

_Love from your one and only son, _

_James._

* * *

"Look, Lily, you know I love you and you know I would do anything to make you happy but are you sure you want to do this?" James pleaded as the pair waited for the elevator in the muggle building to reach the fifteenth floor.

"Yes, James. I told you, we have trust issues."

"I don't!" the boy protested. "I trust you completely. I trust you with my life! I'd even trust you with Sirius' life!"

"Okay, fine," Lily said, folding her arms and glaring at him. "I have the trust issues. I don't trust you. And furthermore, I'm struggling to remember why I even liked you in the first place right now."

"Oh great, here we go," James muttered.

"Here we go? What do you mean 'here we go'? Where, exactly, do we go?" Lily demanded, her voice rising.

"Here we go with the old Lily Evans rant about how I'm an arrogant, selfish toe-rag who you can't get rid of because I'm so annoyingly persistent and irritating," James said, rolling his eyes. "That's where we're going."

"Seriously? You want to make fun of me right now?" Lily said, slamming her palm down on the emergency stop button.

"Really, this conversation is so dramatic we need to stop the lift?" James countered.

Lily closed her eyes and drew her lips into a tight line, reminding James forcibly of his former transfiguration professor whenever she was telling off Sirius. Lily continued to breathe slowly through her nose, ignoring James' bewildered look.

"Do you want to cancel the session?" he asked after a while. "Because we can do that."

"No, you know what? I just think we shouldn't talk until we're under strict therapeutic supervision," Lily replied, opening her eyes and pressing the button for the lift to continue.

"But-"

"No."

"Lily-"

"James," Lily said sternly, effectively putting a stop to the conversation until they were in the waiting room of the wizarding therapist.

Lily sat at one end of the pink and white striped couch in the waiting room and James went to sit next to her but, upon noticing her folded arms and still pursed lips, decided to loiter by the window instead. He pressed his forehead against the cool glass and looked down to the courtyard below.

_Honestly_, he thought, _the things I do for this woman!_

"Appointment for Potter and Evans?" the nasal receptionist called, consulting a clipboard.

"That's us," Lily said standing up, James coming to stand beside her.

"Madam Crockford will see you now," the receptionist smiled, indicating to the room at the end of a short hallway. Lily marched ahead, but the receptionist grabbed James' sleeve before he could follow.

"If things don't work out, here's my card," she said with a wink, catching James completely off-guard. Flattered though he was, he politely refused her number. "It will work out," he said simply before following Lily down the corridor.

* * *

_**Case Notes: Couple 687**_

_Male appears reluctant to talk. Female is frustrated. Clearly wears the pants in the relationship. _

_Apparently this debate stems from some sort of upsetting lie told by the male to the female. Male seems intensely apologetic. Female appears to want to accept apology. Is resisting for some reason. Curious. _

_Recommendation: Trust exercises. _

_Outlook: Unclear. The couple seems to live in an environment of heightened emotions - they perceive every action as intensely consequential. Perhaps due to their age. Will probably need another important event to bind them together again. Cannot be achieved in therapy. Do not disclose this - will result in an end to couple 687's visits. Trust exercises __might__ go towards repairing their issues..._

* * *

"Trust exercises?" James repeated in disbelief, wanting nothing more than to walk out of the overly warm therapist's office.

"Yes," Ms Crockford replied. "I think they will be beneficial in reestablishing what you two seem to have lost. Once you regain mutual trust, you will be able to pick up where you left off."

"Really? It's that simple?" Lily asked.

"I'm not saying that a few exercises will bring you two back together," the therapist said. "But once you begin to mend your trust, then, yes. It will be that simple."

_Great, so it all comes down to trust_, Lily thought, _I knew that much already. _

"Do you know how long it took me to get her to trust me in the first place?" James said loudly. "It was nearly impossible! Six years at school together before she decided it was worth the risk to date me."

"Six years, really?" Doris said, quickly trying to mask her disbelief - how unprofessional. "I mean... You two have had the courage to take the first step in repairing your relationship in coming here. And at such a young age, too! Most couples at your age would just move on from one another, but the fact that you're here, working at it, proves to me that the love is there and that it's just a matter of time - whether it takes six days or six years - before you will get back to normal, as it were."

_She makes a good point_, James thought, _Lily wants this to work or she wouldn't have made me go to therapy. I'd better start taking this seriously._

"Okay, so what do we do?" James said, not a hint of mocking in his voice.

"You have to put yourselves in situations where you feel unsafe," Doris began.

_Oh good, something new and different for us_, James thought sarcastically, Lily mentally echoing his thoughts.

"Then you have to rely on the other person to guide you through the situation and to safety," she finished.

"Do you have any specific activities?" Lily asked.

"Here's a list I've drawn up for you," Doris replied, reaching across and handing Lily a pink piece of parchment with three dot points written on it. "I suggest that you take this home and attempt to complete at least one of these activities before our next session."

"Is there anything else we can do?" James asked, and Lily almost caught herself smiling at the anxious tone in his voice - clearly he wanted to win her trust back as soon as possible.

"I recommend no physical encounters until you've effectively worked through your problems," she replied, causing a look of ill-masked horror to appear on James' face. Lily was very tempted to say 'I told you so' to James but managed to bite her tongue. Just.

"I also suppose you could keep diaries of your thoughts and frustrations regarding each other, but they're not essential in regaining trust, more in dealing with issues that arise in future situations."

"Okay, thank-you, Ms Crockford," Lily said. "We'll make our next appointment with your receptionist."

"Good-luck, dears," she said smilingly as they walked out of her office.

* * *

Meanwhile, at a small park in central London, Remus and Laura were enjoying a secluded picnic dinner. Despite the fact that it was late November and freezing cold, it had been an inspired idea for a date. They were kept warm by heating charms and Remus had brought a muggle radio with him with which to play background music. They had just finished with the cheese platter and were halfway through a bottle of white wine, when Remus decided to give Laura her gift.

"I know it's your birthday in a few days and so I just wanted to give you this," he said anxiously, pulling a thin box out of his pocket.

Wordlessly, Laura took it from him and opened it. Inside lay a thin silver chain, with a teardrop shaped yellowish jewel hanging from the middle.

"Oh, Remus-" Laura sighed, "Thank-you."

"It's a yellow diamond," he explained. "I couldn't find something to match your eyes so I found something to match your hair."

"No one has ever bought me diamonds before," Laura said, with a small laugh of disbelief.

"I know we've only been dating two months, but, you know, you're special... That sounded just as corny out loud as it did in my head," Remus added dryly.

"Not corny. Sweet," Laura replied. "Help me put it on?"

She turned away from him as he lifted the necklace over her head and fastened the clasp, letting his fingertips linger on the smooth skin at the nape of her neck. Laura sighed happily, catching one of Remus' hands in hers before turning to face him.

"I know tonight is a really important night for you," she began carefully. "And I know that it sort of makes this - our relationship - real. But what I'm about to say next is not because I want to reassure you or make you comfortable. And it's not because you bought me a ridiculously expensive necklace for my birthday, or because you planned this adorable date for us-" she stopped to take a deep breath, and Remus did, too.

"I think, well, I mean, I think I know that I'm falling in love with you," she said, looking him square in the eye.

"I... Wow," Remus said, literally stunned into silence.

"I don't expect you to say it back, or anything, but I just thought you should know," Laura said with a smile, meaning every word. Remus just nodded dumbly, a look of incredulity spreading across his face.

"So, main course?" Laura asked.

* * *

_Dear Lily,_

_Just writing because we haven't heard from you in a while now. Not since you and James parted ways, anyway, and your Dad and I were just getting a bit concerned. We were wondering if you were free next weekend to visit us at the country house. Your father's just finished renovating the annex. It's a guest bedroom for when you and Petunia come to stay. He's now working on converting one of the outbuildings into a studio for painting and throwing pots, etc. He has rather gotten into the artistic stuff since we moved to the country - it must be all this fresh air, I think. Granted, he still forgets things from time to time. Yesterday he tried to make us a pot of tea without boiling the water. But on the whole, I think the country is doing him good. _

_Anyway, dear, we just want to know that you're okay. So write back when you get a chance, please. I know you're very busy being a magic doctor, but we miss you. _

_Much love, _

_Mum (and dad)_

* * *

They had been silent while consuming their main course - roast chicken with jacket potatoes and garden salad - but as Laura was dabbing at her mouth with a napkin, Remus finally spoke.

"I don't want you to think that what I'm about to say was in any way prompted by what you just said. And I wasn't sure when I was going to bring this up but it kind of just feels like the right time. And, in any case, I got you that necklace sort of instead of saying it myself because, despite being in Gryffindor house at school, I can sometimes forget to be courageous. But anyway-" he took a deep breath, "What I mean to say is, I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

"Are you sure you're not just saying that?" Laura said softly, "Because I don't want to pressure you."

"I'm positive," Remus said solemnly.

"I'm glad," Laura said, leaning in for a kiss.

"Me too," Remus whispered, before their lips met.

It wasn't long before the pair decided to skip dessert and go back to Remus' flat where they proved to each other how very sincere they both were.

* * *

There was an oppressive silence in the lift as Lily and James left the building, neither one wanting to be the first to break the silence. Not surprisingly, James was the first to crack.

"So, what did you think?" he asked, not looking at Lily but, rather, fixing his eyes upon the cold metal door in front of him.

"Well, I already knew it was a trust issue, but I expected something more than exercises," Lily admitted.

"Like what?"

"Some sort of deep discussion into why you lied, I guess," she replied. "I don't know. It just seems too simple."

"Winning your trust is anything but simple," James scoffed, biting his lip immediately as though he knew that was something he shouldn't have said. "Sorry," he added.

"I don't know, I just don't know if it'll help," Lily replied, likewise keeping her stare steadily ahead of her.

"Of course it will," James said resolutely. "It has to," he added quietly. Lily glanced at him sideways, concerned by the desperation in James' voice.

"Do you want to try one of the exercises now?" she asked, more because she couldn't stand the look of sadness on James' face.

"What, here?"

"No, there's not enough room. The girls are out tonight - my flat?" Lily replied.

"Sure," James replied, cautious of what he might be required to do. Ignoring his look of apprehension, Lily grabbed his wrist and turned on the spot, taking him inside her living room.

"So tidy," were the first words out of James' mouth and Lily couldn't help but laugh.

"Everything is tidy compared to your flat, Potter."

"Your words wound me, Evans," James said dramatically. He didn't know why, but using their last names gave him a strange confidence - it was as though they were back at Hogwarts and he was trying to win her over once more.

"Okay, so the first exercise is pretty standard. One of us falls and the other one has to catch them," Lily read off the sheet. "Only, we're magic, so one of us is levitated and has to fall out of the sky," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I already regret this."

"Well, since you're the one with the trust issues, and I'm far to heavy for you to catch me, I guess I'll be catching you, then," James said.

"I suppose so," Lily said apprehensively.

"Come on, Evans. This is all about trust. Yes, it's scary, but I promise I won't let you down."

Lily's only response was a heavy sigh, and she shut her eyes in preparation for James' levitation spell. James was rather nervous himself. He knew he would easily catch Lily, that she wouldn't be in any actual danger, but knowing that it was up to _her_ to trust _him_ was what was such a worry.

"Okay, you ready?" he asked. She nodded in reply.

_Wingardium Leviosa_, James thought, wordlessly lifting Lily into the air.

After a few seconds, James decided it would be as good a time as any to let Lily fall. She emitted a small scream as she fell two feet into James' waiting arms, her arms automatically wrapping themselves around his neck. After a moment she opened her eyes.

"You screamed," James said.

"It was scary," Lily said defensively. "I'm not a quidditch player, remember? I hate heights!"

"You screamed because you were worried I wouldn't catch you," James said sadly.

Lily didn't have anything to say. She offered an apologetic half shrug, causing James to sigh and place her gently on her feet. Lily reluctantly removed her arms from around his neck, her hands lingering over his shoulders longer than strictly necessary.

"We could try again," she said quietly.

James nodded, once again lifting Lily into the air and letting her fall. This time she fell without a peep, landing in his arms again. She opened her eyes to see James smiling broadly.

"You didn't scream."

"I knew you'd catch me," Lily said quietly, her eyes flicking unconsciously to his lips and back. She knew she should disentangle herself from James as soon as possible, lest she do something foolish, but she was finding it very difficult to think straight. She could feel his arm muscles tensing where they held her in place around her waist and underneath her knees, she could feel his heart beating where her chest was pressed up against his, and she could feel his breath tickling her face as he looked down at her.

A moment passed as James looked down at Lily and she looked back up at him, and before he knew it she was kissing him. Or he was kissing her, he wasn't sure. All he knew was that it was happening and it felt good and right and it meant more than any other kiss he'd ever had. Lily moaned slightly as though she was giving into something she knew she shouldn't, and James pulled her in closer against him. He stepped backwards, causing the pair of them to topple backwards onto the couch, still joined at the lips. Just as he pulled away and began kissing the hollow of Lily's neck - which made her make sounds he hadn't heard in months - he heard the front door slam. Lily must have heard it too, because suddenly they were on opposite ends of the couch, unable to make eye contact.

"No physical contact," Lily whispered as though admonishing him, before smoothing down her hair. James didn't really care. As far as he was concerned, they had made great progress. Lily trusted him at least a little bit. And it was clear she was still attracted to him. Maybe couples therapy wasn't such a bad idea after all?

He stood to leave just as Cat walked into the room with Anna and bags full of indian takeaway.

"Hey, James. You staying for dinner?" Anna asked, breezing past him and settling herself on the floor next to the coffee table.

"Just leaving. Ladies, Evans," he said by way of farewell, hurrying out of the apartment, lest he spend too long thinking about the noises Lily had been making only moments before and publicly humiliate himself.

Lily just nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"Good session?" Cat asked, grinning suggestively in a scarily Sirius-like manner.

"Don't want to talk about it," was all Lily said, going to the kitchen to get plates for their dinner.

When she was out of the room Cat and Anna exchanged knowing glances - no matter how much Lily had tried to hide it, her friends had a pretty good idea of what she and James had been doing before they walked in. Maybe it wouldn't be so long before things were back to normal after all.

* * *

**AN - **So there you have it, predictable, reliable fluff. More action with the trainee aurors and Anna getting mixed up in some bad stuff next chapter. Until then, stay tuned and please review if you have a moment :) Happy Fanficcing!

Oh, and as always, suggestions are welcome. Or predictions. I enjoy reading both. Hope you are all well :)


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